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Everyone has it pretty tough these days, and men and boys are no exception.
And people shared their thoughts on AskReddit about the modern problems in today’s society that put pressure on males.
Check out what they had to say.
1. Not creepy.
“Being a loving father is not “creepy”.
I’ve gotten really weird looks giving my kids kisses on the cheek in public. My oldest son got the worst of it because he was my first kiddo. I constantly gave him hugs and kisses as a baby because my dad couldn’t even be bothered to tell me he loved me.
So I vowed to be a loving sweet father, unlike mine. There are days we go to the store and I’ll snuggle into my daughter’s neck and tell her how much I love her. I still call her “princess” to this day.
Every now and then I get weird looks. It hurts because it was so common for my dad to walk 5 yards ahead of me in a store and not care, but I care. So I love my kids. And to some people this is some how weird.”
2. Don’t be soft.
“My dad yelled at me for crying at my grampas funeral because my grampa wouldnt improve.
Any sign of weakness in sports or anything he gets upset with me for looking “soft”.
But he tells me he loves me everyday and gives hugs and stuff so its confusing.”
3. Expectations.
“Mental health for men is a big one.
Society is slowly starting to get better with this, but its a very slow burn. We’re constantly under the weight of demands and expectations, and then get made fun of when we say something about it.
A really good example, look at Will Smith. The man sat down and listened to his wife talk about an affair, cried on live TV, and he became a meme because of it. There was a trend on TikTok asking men why they dont speak up, and every single response was along the lines of “nobody listens.””
4. The best policy.
“Judging them for being honest.
Nothing is worse than when you open up to your S/O about a struggle you’re having and then later they throw that in your face as a weakness.
Yeah, don’t do that.”
5. Serious stuff.
“Mental health, showing emotions, body image…. I could go on.
What I do to help my partners is I try to be completely open about my problems and allow them to do the same. I let them talk. I listen.
And when the conversations come to an end, we work on it. Want counseling? We can do it together. Want to lose weight? Let’s go on a diet.
However they want to deal with their problems is alright by me so long as it isn’t self-destructive. I think we should be supportive.”
6. Not funny.
“Being bald.
I’m not bald, but most men my age are and bald jokes are not cool.
It’s a really hard thing for a lot of guys that they can’t always do something about.”
7. Depressed.
“Men can get postpartum depression. But they aren’t screened for it; only mothers are (in our experience in the US).
My husband suffered from it after we had our first child. They screened me, the mom, for it in the hospital, at my follow-up OBGYN appointments, and at our baby’s pediatrician appointments.
My husband was there for all of those except the OBGYN. Nobody ever even asked how he was feeling.”
8. Express yourself.
“When you ask us to express our feelings, you need to let express our actual feelings and not just the feelings you want us to express. This also needs to be entirely free of judgement or punishment.
As men, we’re constantly told we need to express our feelings more. But all too often, if we express anything other than strength we are judged, quite harshly, as being weak, selfish, unattractive, and less of a man.”
9. Sensitive.
“As a kid, I was shamed by my mother and sister for being “sensitive.” Aka, anytime they upset me or I was upset, it was unmanly to show my emotions.
As a boyfriend, I was sometimes expected to handle both of our emotional stresses. Perhaps this one isn’t as gendered, but it happens to people in relationships.
As a husband, I have actual expectations and responsibilities to consistently provide for my household, emotionally and financially. This is also not a gendered thing, but it definitely is common.
I think for most men out there, we’ve been taught to hide our emotions, and get put in emotionally tough situations. There’s a lot of solutions, but understanding is always the foundation towards an answer.”
10. Sad.
“Any kind of childhood trauma.
That smelly or unkempt kid who wears the same clothes every day and sleeps in class most likely has a terrible life at home. I know too many quiet and nerdy guys that seem ok now, but when they open up, they get horrible responses. Like wtf? If this was a woman, she’d get a shoulder to cry on.
I knew a guy that lost his entire friend group because he opened up about child a**se for the first time in his life and broke down for a while. Girlfriend cheated on him because he has “deep seeded issues” and was a “pu**y”. He couldn’t handle that and put a shotgun in his mouth. No wonder why men don’t talk about their issues.”
11. For real.
“Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I’m dangerous, or angry all the time.
I took my son to the ER for a broken leg years ago, and got the third degree from EVERY person that came in and examined or worked with him.
The innuendo about his injury being due to me was palpable, yet they never came out and straight accused me of it. It caused additional stress that wasn’t needed, and embarrassed me to no end.”
12. Important.
“If you ask us to share our emotions and thoughts, don’t ridicule us after we shared them with you.”
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