#3. Yeah. It happens.

I met them while I was working at subway.

They were rich and still douches.

#2. “He turned out to be an OK guy.”

When I was still in college I was managing a tax office. I ordered pizza for me and the staff. High school hot-shot delivered my pizza. He’d gained at least 75 pounds. Got a good laugh after he left.

He was also working as the bouncer at a bar I like. They had a cover I wasn’t aware of. He waived the cover for me and my friends.

He turned out to be an OK guy.

#1. Free highlights are a very confusing gift. On the one hand they’re free, on the other hand…highlights.

I was bullied by this massive guy when I was 15. He easily had a foot and 2-3 stone on me. Went on for about a year and then kind of fizzled out. Nothing too harsh, just the occasional bloody nose.

5 years later, I wander into a new hairdresser in town to get a standard trim and here’s the guy cutting hair.

He was incredibly apologetic and explained how he’d been so confused and angry because he couldn’t admit to himself that a massive, tough guy like him could be gay and want to be a hairdresser.

He had the final laugh though, as he offered me free highlights to make up for things, and I looked like a tool for the next 7 weeks.

Want more tasty true tales?

Check out: