Whether we mean to be or not, one of the curses of being human is sometimes acting like a creeper. It’s happened to me when my mind is elsewhere but my eyes are staring, but sometimes, people just stumble upon us at the wrong time, or there are other factors (like alcohol) involved.
Whatever the excuse, these 13 people must have been mortified to find themselves caught in these 13 situations.
13. Why are boys?
When I was going into 9th grade I lived next door to this girl who had just graduated high school. She used to lay out in the sun with her friend on their driveway in bikinis. Their driveway was right next to the side of our house.
I was home for the summer alone and peaking/fapping. All of a sudden one one of them must have seen my shadow through the window and yells “we see you pervert!”
I came right when she yelled it…all over the carpet.
12. A lovely ending.
I used to go to a Chinese restaurant located in the middle of a food court every day on the way to/from work; a beautiful girl worked there and I would always glance to see if she was working or not before going over to order.
One day I was peering around the corner, I couldn’t see her so I turned around to leave and she was standing right behind looking at me like I was a serial killer. I locked up then blurted out that she was cute and asked for her phone number. She denied it and walked away, I thought I ruined it.
A week later, she tracks me down on Google+, she memorized my name from my debit card and was really shy I guess, now we’re dating. I don’t know who’s creepier but it was a relief to know I wasn’t alone.
11. Her own fault, really.
Recently. I was senior in college. Chilling on my computer, which is on a corner desk (so I was facing the corner) just chilling playing games on newgrounds, facebookin, etc…
My bedroom door was usually in my peripheral vision, but I was focused on this random game so I couldn’t see it at all.
Eventually, I went over to facebook and found this girl had posted some photos from the annual undie-run. I commenced creeping on the album. A good 5-7 minutes into the creeping, I get a text from my girlfriend. “Turn around.”
Yes, my girlfriend had come over, snuck into my room while I was gaming and watched me creeping on a random facebook girl’s scandalous photos for more than 5 minutes.
10. Those wrong texts are terrible.
I took a screenshot of a conversation with a guy I hadn’t talked to in a while and meant to send it to a friend to show that I was talking to him again.
I sent it to the guy.
9. Why would you bring that to school?
In 9th or 10th grade, I decided to take a fake penis to school to show off to my buddies… My Dad had gotten it as a gag gift for his 50th birthday from people at his work. It had a little strap that you could put around your ankle so that when you pulled up your pants it looked like you were really hung.
Well anyway, I told the wrong person that I had it at some point. During class I decided I needed to go to the bathroom and take a leak. I left my hat and bag (containing the falice) in the classroom. On my way back, as I rounded the corner I could see that the teacher was standing with the dildo wrapped up in my hat in front of the class.
The kid that I mentioned my prize to, took it out when I left the room and was throwing it around. Some girl, actually trying to be nice to me, told everyone to STFU because it’s no one’s business if I want to have a dildo in my bag. lol
8. Talk about clueless.
Last year I was at the park/playground babysitting. I was a large 21 year old male with a unkempt beard sitting alone at the park watching a group of 7 year old girls playing. There were two benches side by side, with me at the edge of one of them. Some lady with kids shows up and sits at the opposite end from me. What she never sees is the Bluetooth in my ear, on the far side.
So she’s there for about half an hour now and I’m still just watching the girl I’m supposed to be watching when I get a call. I answer and it’s my friend talking about the party we were at last night. He says “Damn dude, did you see how hot Girl1 looked last night. And all her friends were so sexy.” That’s when I reply “I know, the one in the Power Puff Girls shirt was the hottest for sure.”
The mom gets up, grabs her kids, and leaves. Like super fast. I didn’t even realize what she thought till a couple of seconds too late to even try and explain anything at all.
Every time I wake up after a bender (or party or lonely night with a bottle) and read my multiple attempts at drunk sexting to girls I haven’t talked to in weeks prior.
And their responses.
6. But how did he know?
Got a little buzzed and was chatting this girl up on Facebook. We started talking tacos so obviously I decided to hop on my bicycle and pedal my way to the taco bell.
I loaded my jacket pockets up with tacos, biked to her apartment, called her and said “Hey I’m outside your place!” She was like, “liar, you don’t know where I live.”
I responded, “… Uh… Wait are you sure?” Then she peeked out the curtains to see me on the sidewalk with a jacket full of tacos.
5. Depends on the girl.
A few months ago, I was chatting with some girl who was way too amazing to be legit. I figured it was a particularly evil ex of mine trying to toy with me. So I took the the interwebs while chatting with her digging up every little bit of info I could. Reverse Google Image searches from display pictures, lead to links to assorted profiles…
Within about 15 minutes I had her Facebook, address, phone number, pretty much everything I needed to verify she was in fact a real person. I mentioned something to the effect of “Oh, looks like you’re a real person after all!”
She pressed for details and so I told her what I did. After writing it out I realized I just nerd-creep’d her. She was equal parts creeped out and impressed. And now she’s my girlfriend of 2 months.
4. Always name your folder something boring.
That would probably be during my junior year in high school. I went to a boarding school, and somehow we’d managed to get our own Facebook network (this was back when Facebook was primarily for college students only) so everyone was posting pictures like crazy.
Over my time “browsing,” being the little perv I was, I had saved probably around 100 pictures of various girls from my small school wearing bikinis, tight sweaters, or even just smiling and other stuff like that, into a folder on my desktop named “Fun Stuff.”
I never really let anyone use my computer back then, so I never thought it would be a problem, but one day my roommate’s girlfriend was over and she needed to print off an essay, so I nervously said, “Oh yeah, sure,” not wanting to be weird and tell her, “No, you can’t” right after I’d just printed something and there was no way I could make up an excuse as to why my printer wasn’t working.
So she plugged in her thumb drive and was printing off her paper and I figured everything would be fine. I turned my back for about ten seconds and I heard her say, “Oooo, fun stuff, huh? What’s this, porn?” I turned around to her scrolling through all of the pictures of our female classmates I’d saved in a folder, some of which included her.
She sat there silently like that scrolling through the pictures for about thirty seconds and then turned around and saw me blushing like crazy and trying to come up with some kind of excuse and just said, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” and winked at me before grabbing her paper and skipping off on her way. I deleted them after that. I am sooooo damn lucky that she was so cool–some of the girls at my high school would’ve flipped if they found that collection of pictures, despite the fact that they were all available for anyone on Facebook.
Moral of the story–there is no moral of the story. The end.
3. Kids always say the thing.
I was eating lunch with one of my co-workers at Wendys and a MILF sat down about 2 tables away with her young son.
I was creeping very hard for about 5 minutes and all of the sudden her boy said out loud “mom, that guy is staring at you”.
My brother was in high school and used to film the football practices and games, edit them down, and sell the highlight tapes to people at school. However, since he was in high school, he also used to make tapes of the cheerleaders practicing or just lounging around….for, you know…research purposes later (didn’t sell those though).
Cut to him riding home with the players and cheerleaders from a game and reviewing the tape. The guys are gathered around to see the game tape. At the end of the tape it runs out and immediately cuts to a cheerleader sitting on a bleacher before zooming in on her exposed panties.
The player sitting across from my brother: “That’s my f*ckin’ girlfriend dude.”
He told me it was an awkward 2 hours home.
1. A match made in heaven.
Met a girl at a party. She had one hand. She generally hid the stump behind her purse. I could see the absent hand, and was staring. She called me out on it, asking “Are you staring at my stump?”
Thinking I was so fucking clever, and drunk, I say “If you turned I could stare at your t*ts instead.”
She retorts, “You can stare at my a$s. Bye.” And walks away.
Later, she apologized for dismissing me. I got over-apologetic and said I was being an asshole on all fronts. She said, “No! It was funny! I just thought of that comeback and really wanted to use it!”
Oh, man, these are hard to read.
Poor decisions, people!
I know we all make them – share yours in the comments.