If there’s one thing I know is true, it’s that anyone who works in a profession where a review site exists will check those reviews, even though they absolutely know they shouldn’t.

This is completely true of almost everyone, but for these 13 professors, well…at least they were able to laugh about it.

13. How could it not be?

My old anthro professor once found the following written in local bar’s bathroom:

“Who the hell is [professor’s name]?”

“He’s one mean son of a bit*h.”

He says it was the highlight of his career.

12. They always know exactly who it was, right?

Grad student teaching an astronomy summer class to undergrads. Only review I got said that I was a “dried up old d%ck licker” (I was 26) and that this was “the hardest math I had to do in my 5 years of college”.

I know who wrote it. Guy was a business major, and pissed because I asked him to calculate a number with an exponent of 3.2. He had no idea how to put that in his calculator and threw a godd*mn hissy fit.

11. They’re really telling on themselves.

I like reading random ones because it really paints a picture about the person who wrote it.

“Worst professor ever! We had homework every week!”

“Don’t take her classes! She makes you read the book to understand the material!!”

And there will be like ten negative reviews from the same class in the same year like that. Like they got all the way to college and then were suprised that it takes work to pass your classes.

10. Well, it’s to the point.

It’s two words long: “The devil.”

Twice. I got that twice. Either two students left it, or one wanted to make sure you didn’t miss it. Either way, I whooped out loud and showed all my friends.

(Understand, most of my scores are positive, and I do care about what my students think and doing right by them. But that just hit me funny: “The devil.“)

9. Sometimes I guess they’re spot on.

Not myself but my brother in law decided it would be funny to look up my uncle who was a university lecturer at the time. He found one student had left a review that said how he wished he was speeding on the way to class that day so he’d crash and not have to attend the lecture.

In all fairness, my uncle was a sh^t lecturer so that surprised none of us.

8. I have no idea what that means.

HS teacher, but got “you were great, but your height was distracting.”….. I’m average height.

7.  That was his intention all along.

I’m a student. My freshman year chemistry professor told us all to be nice and wholesome on his RMP page, because his mom reads it, and to not give him the chili pepper because she knows what it means.

Needless to say he had a maxed out pepper rating (i can’t remember, is it a scale of multiple peppers or just one?) by the end of that semester.

6. If you’re gonna insult someone, do it right!

I remember my Aerodynamics professor spending an entire class complaining about a student saying on RMP that he liked Galatasaray. He was a huge fan of a team from the Turkish soccer league, and hated Galatasaray.

5. Such a wholesome joke.

For some reason a few students came up with some inside joke that my dad (a sculpture professor) is obsessed with eating hard-boiled eggs during class.

They all gave him 5 star reviews but wrote about his ‘weird obsession’. He thinks it’s hilarious and he says that new students still ask about it every year at the beginning of class

4. Ouch.

Apparently, one of my student thinks I am no fun 🙁

“Does Einstein’s theory of relativity explain why time flies when you are having fun but when you are listening to Dr. Mandhana it falls out of the sky dead?”

3. A hat tip to this gent.

A friend of mine was a teaching assistant long ago, and his favourite rating read “warning: the TA is a huge nerd and likes to play swing music during the lab.” He was so proud of that one.

2. Takes one to know one.

The Director of my program is also an instructor. Hes adorable older gent, former LEO, likes to goof off but is serious about the material.

One day he decided to give me a bit of good natured grief in class. I stated that if he didnt mind hos manners to me I’d give him 5 chilli peppers for hotness on rate my prof lol

His face tho

1. That’s certainly strange.

Something to the effect of “she’s so awkward I would leave 30 minutes into each class.”

It was one negative review out of tons of positives so it stood out for a while, which I found hilarious. Not denying I can be awkward, I teach math, it’s our jam. But nobody leaves 30 minutes into class, we do classwork every day and they basically get participation points for working together on that days topic.

1, I notice when someone leaves because they won’t get credit and 2, nobody that semester had left class early more than once, I was in a tiny room and the door was by the board.

My guess is it was the student who was LIVID to find out at the end of the semester that they had to be in class, despite it showing in their syllabus, reflected in their online gradebook, and multiple reminders from me, they had only shown for tests. And then I wouldn’t let them make up those grades finals week.

I’m dying, and I don’t know, maybe it can be fun to read reviews from undergrads.

If you’re a professor, please share your funniest review with us in the comments!