If you’ve spent any time at all around kids, you know there’s no way to tell exactly what is going to come out of their mouths when. It’s part of their charm, and it keeps you on your toes.
Teachers know this better than most, so I have to believe their poker faces are also top-notch – but sometimes, students like these 13 still catch them by surprise.
13. This is priceless.
“When I was 19, I took a semester off of college to teach ESL in a tiny village in Honduras. My grasp of Spanish was just enough to get by.
One day, one of my sixth-grade students asked me in front of the class: ‘Miss Amy, do you ever get embarazada?’ Falling right into the hands of her joke, I said, ‘Well, sure, honey. Everybody does sometimes.’
Turns out ’embarazada’ means ‘pregnant,’ not ’embarrassed.’ Oh, how they screamed with laughter (and so did I once they clued me in).”
12. That doesn’t seem right.
“A junior in high school once said, ‘Virginia? I can spell Virginia! V-A-G-I-N-A!'”
11. Way to diffuse the tension.
“I was teaching high school math at the time, and this was an Algebra 1 or Algebra 2 class. After going step-by-step through an example solving the equation, I asked if anyone had any questions about the example.
One student raised his hand and said he didn’t understand. I replied, ‘OK, which part do you not understand?’ and offered him the dry-erase marker to point out which part was giving him confusion.
He proceeded to walk up to the board and circle the entire problem. We all had a good laugh at that one.”
10. I like it. I might steal it.
“I had a student refer to the Last Supper as Jesus’s ‘last munch with the mandem.'”
9. His darkest confession.
We use GoGuardian on school computers for students to ask us questions during class.
One day, I randomly got a message from one of my middle schoolers saying, ‘Sometimes I like to put peanut butter in my shoes and walk around in them.’
I looked up at the student, and he was staring straight ahead with a completely serious expression, not even acknowledging the message.”
8. I don’t think that’s very nice.
“I had a student ask me what year I was born.
I told her ’76. She quickly responded with, ‘Which one? 18 or 19?'”
7. At least make them laugh.
“One of my middle school students wrote ‘DaBaby’ as the answer to every question on a quiz.
He took a 0, but I have to give him credit for committing to the joke!”
6. Adults never win these games.
“I am an early childhood educator, and one of my colleagues told me her funniest moment was when the kids asked her to guess what game they were playing at recess.
After several unsuccessful guesses, they told her they were playing ‘Jungle Queen and Electrician,’ as if it was as obvious as hide-and-seek.
I had a similar moment last week when I failed to guess ‘Paw Patrol Velociraptor Dalmatian Chase Game.'”
5. I like it.
“I used to teach preschool. During lunch, we were singing some songs and we started singing ‘Be Banana.’ The song is kind of a chant where you ‘be,’ ‘peel, and ‘eat’ the banana, then you ‘go bananas.’
The kids started substituting in other things for ‘banana,’ like ‘potato,’ ‘corn,’ and ‘tomato.’ Then one of the kids decided they should sing ‘Be Obama,’ so they did.
I’m not sure if they understood what they were singing, but it definitely fit into the tune nicely!”
4. Bless his heart.
“I taught middle school health. I remember talking to my sixth-graders about almond milk for some reason.
Then one of them said out loud, ‘I didn’t know almonds had titties!’ The way he said it and his confused face were too funny.”
3. An excellent question.
“It was my first year teaching special education in high school. I had a student ask me, very seriously, what would happen if we tied a person to a bear.
I had to turn my face to the whiteboard so the class wouldn’t see me laughing! I had to try to work it into the lesson, like, ‘Who thinks the bear would be frightened?’
It’s still the best question I’ve ever had from a student, nearly 10 years later!”
2. I mean, we all do.
“I teach teenagers. I was talking about the pope, and at that point, one of the boys had tuned out and did not hear what I said next. I said, ‘The pope is celibate, which means he can’t get married or have sex, even with himself.’
The boy now raised his hand, not having heard what I just said. When I gave him the word, he said, ‘So, what does the pope do all day?’ The entire classroom started laughing, including me (I was crying!).
That poor kid looked so confused and his face turned all red, so I explained why we laughed. He just wanted to know what the pope does!”
1. Whatever keeps you calm.
“I teach at a small, private school with about 25 kids in grades K–8. All the students were waiting in the gym before going to class one morning.
One of the kindergartners grabbed my hand and started leading me around the gym, pointing to all my preteen students and muttering something under his breath to the effect of, ‘…did not become prevalent until 1974.’
I asked him what he was trying to tell me, and he said, ‘I’m reciting the history of skinny jeans!'”
I would not have been able to hold in my laughter either, y’all.
When was the last time a kid caught you by surprise and you couldn’t stop your giggles? Tell us the story in the comments!