When the person posed this question to Reddit, I wonder if they thought they would get literal or metaphorical answers. They probably believed most people would confess morally gross secrets, but listen…there are a lot more people out there with actual nasty secrets than any of us probably realized.

Here are 14 of the best on the thread, of both sorts, so put down your snack and give them a read.

14. What a horrible way to live.

That there is someone on my Facebook who is lying about her dad passing of cancer whilst her eldest daughter (8 years old) is fighting a brain tumour.

It is all lies. Her dad is alive and well. Her daughter is completely healthy (one of the pictures she used as “proof” is her daughter lying on a hospital bed, from what I know she was just in for observation after a small fall).

She has 2 Facebook profiles. One for all her family and friends of the family. And the second one (that I’m friends with) is for old school friends, general acquaintances and anyone she dates etc.

There’s so much more lies but those 2 ones are the ones I know 100000% to be false.

13. That’s a doozy.

When I was 8, my 19 year old cousin tried to make out with me. I remember him rubbing my leg & kissing me in the kitchen whilst my mum was in the living room.

I didn’t understand what was really happening at the time, but I knew I didn’t like it. I kept nervous giggling and pushing him away. After a couple of minutes he looked disappointed and walked away. I don’t remember if he ever tried anything else.

He was killed in an accident 3 years later & I chose never to tell anybody as I didn’t want to add to my Aunt’s grief.

12. Time to get out.

I don’t trust my partner with money, I’ve been tracking how much he spends on weed per month and its a lot- i don’t know how to bring it up because we are saving for a house but 95% of everything we have so far, is from me, while he spends 500 a month on weed

11. Sisters are devious.

During lockdown my sister had a meltdown because she thought I had stolen a pair of nailclippers shaped like a foot that she owned. I told her (truthfully) that I also had a pair and that she had stolen mine. They actually WERE hers.

I found mine an hour later. Rather than tell her, I gave back hers and said “If they mean so much to you you can have them”. I then hid mine in her bag when she went back home after lockdown. She got there and found the two nail clippers and now believes that she was wrong and that the nail clippers she had a meltdown over were actually mine.

10. All of that is extremely gross.

A buddy of mine had a wife that used to be a stripper. She ended up leaving him for one of her patrons. Before she left him, she was impregnated by him (my buddy). She ended up marrying the guy she left him for and the newish dad is basically raising his kid.

I’m still friends with both of them on Facebook since I was cool with both of them and her son definitely looks like him. This was maybe 7-8 years ago. I just shut the fuck up about the whole situation.

9. I thought everyone did this.

I used to lie. Like a lot. I used to make up stories to tell people, just for the sake of it. I don’t do it anymore, although this leads me to telling the same stories over and over

8. I don’t know whether to be grossed out or give her a (distanced) high five.

My senior prom was in 2010. After prom I had a party at my parents cabin just outside of town. Later that night I found my boyfriend having sex in my car with my volleyball co-captain.

I didn’t confront them but instead went to his car (which was only 2 or 3 weeks old) and took a shit in the passenger seat. I wiped with some napkins he had in the glove box and put them in his cup holders. I went back inside and kept drinking.

7. This is so weird.

My one friend has no idea that I’ve known that he doesn’t have kids for months, also that I know he’s been saying this and lying to everyone for attention.

He tells a very convincing story. He goes into vague details, has a photo of the girl, says that she’s been showing him fake paperwork as proof for the children. If what he says is true would be literally extortion. Everything. Little does he know that I’ve been watching closely and also researching to find this woman. I know she isn’t real and that he’s lying and been lying this whole time for almost a year. Nothing he says makes sense and it just keeps escalating which also doesn’t make sense. I literally couldn’t help myself but investigate.

If everyone finds out that he’s been lying this whole time it will spread like wildfire. He doesn’t have many friends and the friends he did have stopped talking to him because of his compulsive lying.

6. How dare. That poor bun.

I dropped a bun in the self-service area of a convenience store. I didn’t pay for it. I just kicked it under the shelf and left.

5. That poor janitor.

In biology class we were dissecting a pigs eyeball and my hand slipped and the eyeball fell on the floor and me being extremely lazy I kicked it under a cabinet and it lay there for 2 years until someone finally found it.

4. The kids are not okay.

My friend’s kid eats PB+J with ranch.

I’m thinking of calling CPS

3. Oh man, this is ugly.

I secretly broke a 2500 euros printer, that is rare and precious, I just fixed it just enough that the second person using it got blamed for thousand almost expelled from school.

2. They’ll never figure it out.

I dropped a human brain once in prep class and put it back like nothing happened and everyone was wondering what kind of head trauma that person died of.

I was a TA (teaching assistant)to the professor for human anatomy and preparatory class. Part of my job (I studied biology and am a trained preparator turned mortician and am specialized in reconstruction) was to prepare donor bodies for upcoming classes.

I would receive specific orders from the professor, what kind of grossing tables, which body part, what kind of class etc. I am not a MD or even thought about being one. I’m just a basement dweller, that makes a living of off death and I am grateful to do so.

1. It’s a part of the school, now.

I drew a massive penis on the ceiling in my art classroom probably a metre long and its been there for years, i asked friends who have brothers and sisters there and they say its still there. Its been like 8years now

Humans are just too weird for words sometimes, right?

If you’ve got a secret like these, we’re all ears!