I bet you’ve been in this situation before…
Maybe it happened at work, or maybe it happened out in public, but you BLOW IT and FUCK UP in a huge way and you go into panic mode.
Now you need to fix your FUCK UP before anyone notices.
It’s a race against the clock but somehow you pull it off.
Whew! That was a close call!
AskReddit users shared their stories that are just like this.
1. Whoopsy daisy.
“Fucked up numerous times working on live applications. The best one was accidentally deleting the user table.
I was trying to delete a subset of users and managed to hit the key to run the statement before I’d written the “where” clause. If you don’t have a “where” clause to tell the database which records you want to delete, it just deletes all of them.
Luckily, the user table was only ever read by the application on log-in, so no one was going to notice unless they happened to log-in in the 2 mins or so it took me to load the records back in from a back-up.”
2. Working with acid.
“Working at a laboratory that used acid solutions to dissolve geological samples for various tests, my technical manager left a component of a machine in a plastic beaker filled halfway with concentrated hydrofluoric acid, unlabeled, in a fume hood that other people used regularly, “to see what it would do”.
I dumped it in a neutralizer and this asshole had the balls to yell at me for ruining his “test”. I told him it would etch and dissolve the part because it was glass, and he didn’t require a test because that’s already a known property.
Had someone spilled it on even a gloved hand, the hydrofluoric acid would pass through protection and enter the bloodstream without sensation, where it would leach calcium out of the bones, wreaking havoc on the nervous system causing a horrible, agonizing death.”
3. In the trash.
“I once had a roommate who didn’t speak English too well. She was moving away, and she was leaving in a hurry, and before she left she asked me to “take care of” a big bag of what was apparently clothes.
I assumed those were trash she didn’t want to take with her, and she just didn’t have time to throw them away, so once she left, I took that bag to the trash canister outside. A few hours later, that interaction just came back to my mind and seemed strange to me. I went back to the trash canister, the bag was still there, and brought it back inside.
The next day, she came back to get it and thanked me for “taking care of it”. She was a nice, poor girl from a rural region that was already struggling in the city, and I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I had to tell her that I threw her clothes into the trash.”
4. A wonderful song.
“Worked at a record / video rental store. After work on a weeknight, we close at 10pm, clean the store, count the register, lock the safe and go home.
When we clean the store we would often play a CD someone may have returned or which we wouldn’t normally play. Tonight it was 2 Live Crew’s ‘Banned In The USA’ CD with their hit single, ‘Pop That Pussy’. We put this on and crank it and start falling over laughing.
The bass is insane. We have 8 speakers set up around the perimeter of the store, all on shelves hanging near the ceiling. We hear this loud “THUNK” and cannot pinpoint what it was. We notice a speaker is “missing”… then find the corpse. It had jumped off it’s shelf and split into several chunks in the aisle.
Our night manager acted fast. “YOU!” she said, pointing to the 18 year old cashier. “Here’s $10. Go next door to Walgreens and get wood glue!” He’s gone. We start seeing if we can piece it back together. He returns. We glue it up and gently set that bitch back up on it’s shelf and left the speaker wire oh-so-gently unhooked.
The store closed about 6 years later and the manager never found out! We won! Yay Miami bass! Yay Pop That Pussy!”
5. Life and death.
“I was mixing IVs at the hospital.
Someone had put the wrong bag in the wrong bin. I didn’t notice.
I proceeded to make a batch of epidurals out of the wrong medicine. No one caught it. It somehow made it to the OB floor.
I came back into the IV room and saw the empty bag hanging and my stomach dropped. I called OB to ensure none had been used and to make sure it wouldn’t. Brought them back and wrote myself up.
If I hadn’t caught it, it would of caused major issue’s including the possibility of killing the patients. There were 12 syringes if I remember correctly.
I learned a very valuable lesson that day.”
6. Chicken drama.
“This is great timing, I was just thinking about this a few hours ago.
I rented a room from a couple and one of the rules was that I could not enter their yard. In their yard they had all sorts of animals a lovely quaky duck, a few cats and chickens. The chickens were in a big coop cause the cats hunting instincts were still to prevalent.
One weekend they asked me to feed the chickens while they went on a trip. On the last day of feeding all the chickens got out (5), and I noticed just in time to rip one of the chickens from the cats mouth.
After another hilarious 30 minute chase I’d put all the chickens back in the coop, minutes before they came home. I don’t think they noticed.”
7. That was awesome!
“Years ago, I lived in DC. One morning, riding in on the Metro I was changing trains from the Red line to the Blue. I heard the door chime and realized I wasn’t going to make this train. As I stopped, a guy bumped into me and ran on around and jumped on the train as the door chime sounded again. As he passed, I heard a thump and saw his cell phone hit the ground.
In one motion, I knelt down, grabbed the phone, stood up and under-armed the phone 20 feet and hit hit smack in the middle of his chest. He caught the phone, and looked up right at me in shock- then the door closed.
I said to myself, “Well, damn. No one saw that so I can never brag about it.” Then I heard a voice behind me say “Holy shit! That was awesome!” Guy who sat in the office right next to me was coming up behind me, heading into work at the same time. So since Tony saw it, I get to brag about it!”
8. That’s not good.
“Working on a presentation and managed to misspell the CEO’s name.
We’d been working on it for weeks, the name had been there probably since day 3 or 4. No one spotted it cause who would be dumb enough to get it wrong? I finally caught it about a week before it went to the presentation.
Definitely one of my sections, so glad I got it before it could do damage.”
9. A lucky break.
“Worked in an IT company. Had to switch of the routines for data backups because of I even don’t know anymore. Forgot to switch them on again. After around 2 years I noticed it more by coincidence. Felt very warm and sweaty instantly.
If data loss had happened, that would have been the end of the company. And the end of my career of course.”
10. Almost a bad accident.
“Caught a coworker pulling safety pins out of a support stand for a rather large and heavy jet engine component. I had two guys under the component and she was about to pull the last pin when I stopped her.
She was working with knowledge from a different style engine, and would have been correct on that model. In our model, she would have dropped a ton of metal on two guys.”
11. That would’ve been very embarrassing.
“I am a University professor.
I was watching porn one morning and closed my laptop without closing the browser. I then went to class, plugged the computer into the teaching station, and opened the screen. I was saved by the very brief delay between the image on my screen being displayed on the teaching station and it being displayed on the projector.
I managed to rip the HDMI cable out just before I projected to 100+ students.”
“I work in catering, on multiple occasions have noticed food that has managed to be packaged on site, hasnt reached its sell by date (most foods we label with a sell by date of 3 days after packaging) and yet has mold on it. I’m sure I dont have to explain the consequences of that, physical or legal.
Also one time i was on my break and the food on sale was curry and somehow the one batch they happened to serve first managed to be ice cold because some how they managed to forget to heat that one up.
Luckily I was the first person to take some so I picked it up before the customer otherwise there would have been issues.”
13. Don’t play with fire.
“I was lighting matches and throwing them around a yard beside the one that I grew up in and bf it was so sunny out I couldn’t see that I started a grass fire and it had gotten big. ( the grass was also dead) I managed to find an old oil drum, tipped it over and rolled it all along the perimeter of the growing bush fire.
If I hadn’t had that barrel I would have burned down several graineries and possibly vehicles. If it had gotten into the tree line, my yard would have gone up. Only you know about this. None of my family.”
14. Dodged a bullet.
“Was going on a three night backpacking trip with friends, it was my job to round up three breakfasts.
At REI I picked up what I thought were six packages of freeze dried eggs hanging from a peg. Turns out only the first was eggs, the ones behind it were Neapolitan ice cream. The packages were identical, only a small label indicated the contents.
Fortunately for me the first day and night of the trip we were harassed so badly by biting flies and mosquitoes everyone wanted to abandon the trip as nobody brought bug spray.
I only discovered my mistake days later. Bullet dodged.”
Whew! Those were some close calls!
Now we want to hear from you!
In the comments, tell us your personal stories about mistakes you fixed at the very last second before anyone noticed.