It should come as no surprise that some people out there know the Bible like the back of their hand.
They grew up in religious households, went to church regularly, and pored over the Bible over and over again.
I am not one of those people, but I do find the Bible interesting and I wish I knew more about it.
And, apparently, there are some pretty strange verses in there that a lot of folks don’t know about.
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about this.
1. Judges 19.
22 They were inside enjoying themselves. But some of the evil men who lived in the city surrounded the house. They pounded on the door. They shouted to the old man who owned the house. They said, “Bring out the man who came to your house. We want to have s*x with him.”
23 The owner of the house went outside. He said to them, “No, my friends. Don’t do such an evil thing. This man is my guest. So don’t do this terrible thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter. And here’s the Levite’s concubine. I’ll bring them out to you now. You can have them. Do to them what you want to. But don’t do such a terrible thing to this man.”
““Thus shall you say to David,
‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’”
3. Care to explain?
Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.
But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.”
4. It’s up to you, now.
“Then Judah said to Onan,
“Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.” –
5. That’s odd.
“II Kings 2: 23-24:
“From there Elisha went up to Bethel.
As he was walking up the path, some small boys came out of the city and harassed him, chanting, ‘Go up, baldy! Go up, baldy!’
He turned around, looked at them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two female bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the children.”
6. Talking donkey?
“Talking Donkey in Numbers 22:28-30
28 Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?”
29 Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.”
30 The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”
“No,” he said.”
7. Words of wisdom.
“Proverbs has some good advice:
Better to live on a corner of the roof, than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
-Proverbs Chapter 21, Verse 9 New International Version.”
8. A little harsh…
If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand.
Show her no pity.”
9. Why’d she do that?
““But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it.”
“She lusted after lovers with g*nitals as large as a donkey’s and emissions like those of a horse.”
11. What smells?
The LORD said to Moses and Aaron, 34 “When you enter the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as your possession, and I put a spreading mildew in a house in that land, 35 the owner of the house must go and tell the priest, ‘I have seen something that looks like mildew in my house.”
“Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”
13. Boiled your son?
“So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son.
2. Kings Chapter 6, Verse 29 King James version.”
14. The one about…
“There’s the one about golden d*ldos:
“You also took your beautiful jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself images of men, and with them played the wh*re.” -Ezekiel 16:17 Honestly, the entire book of Ezekiel is an erotic ecstasy and LSD trip.
The Apostle Paul mockingly saying the Pharisees should cut their d*cks off:
“I wish those who unsettle you would emasculate themselves!” -Galatians 5:12 I thought this part was hilarious when reading it. Paul is a pretty funny guy.
Hosea was a minor priest who, by God’s command, married a pr*stitute.
“That way, whenever she rented out her body, Hosea could feel and describe the anger and betrayal that God felt from the Israelites. Book of Hosea. I always felt sorry for Hosea. He was ordered by God to be a cuckold.”
The inc*st when Lot’s daughters got him drunk so they could have s*x with him, thus creating two new repugnant nations (Ammonites and Moabites). This was just after their mother died. Genesis 19:30-38
When Jesus says in his Sermon on the Mount than many people will say they cast out demons, performed miracles, and prophesied in his name. Jesus will say, “Away from me. I never knew you.” Matthew 7:21-23 Kind of sad that even many people who think they are serving God will be condemned according to the Bible.
As people were crying out and cutting themselves with swords for their god, Elijah mocked them saying that their god is probably taking a sh*t.
1 Kings 18:27 Always cracked me up.”
Now it’s your turn!
If you know of more strange Bible verses that you can lay on us, please do it in the comments.
Thanks in advance!