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It can be tough out there for people with big emotions. We wear our hearts on our sleeves and it can be hard when it seems like everyone else knows how we’re feeling with a simple glance.
If that’s you, and you’re looking for ways to maybe control your tears a little bit more, these 14 people are willing to share how they manage to keep things a little more buttoned up.
But fair warning, you might not like the answers.
14. They’re not exactly healthy.
I pack all of my emotions inside until I explode.
It was very unhealthy… my husband had to help me express emotions before that point came and it’s so much healthier.
13. It goes the other way, too.
I’m kind of envious of those who can cry easily.
I’ve tried reading emotional books, listening to music, that one scene from The Lion King (you know what I’m talking about) but very little happens, if anything happens at all. I feel the emotion for sure but as far as expressing it through crying?
It’s a different story. These days when I cry, if I cry, I keep note of what I was doing. I find it to be cathartic.
12. Blame your genes.
Emotional stability is, like most parts of your personality, roughly half genetic.
Meaning some people are just genetically predisposed to be unemotional, which is both a benefit and a curse. Its much harder to make them happy, but they’re also harder to make sad.
Whats interesting is that crying is your bodies way of getting rid of excessive chemicals (the things that make feelings) in your brain. Its why you feel somewhat better after a sad cry, or why the feeling is somewhat muted after a happy cry.
In short, blame your genes.
11. Toxic masculinity.
Growing up in a world where men were taught to be ruff tuff and ready for anything. Crying only got me a beating from the deadbeat stepdad. I’m in my late 30’s now and I can count on 1 hand the amount of times I’ve cried in the last decade, 1 of them was my son being born, another was alcohol induced after a family tragedy.
There are sooo many times I’ve wanted to cry, but this internal door just seems to slam shut and refuse to let me, as if somehow I’d become soft and useless if I cried. It’s a mental block I can’t even begin to understand let alone explain. Yay for toxic masculine upbringings.
10. I’m a little bit broken.
As a wise vending machine once said, the light inside me is gone but I still work.
9. It’s not on purpose.
Tbh my emotions just don’t work as they should and i just don’t know how to show them.
8. It’s not the best.
Lots of past trauma.
7. They need therapy.
Crying in front of others is a feature of weakness. That’s what my mind tells me and that’s how I feel about it.
I am now in therapy for getting more in touch with my feelings, to recognize them and how to respond to those feeling. It isn’t an easy road, but I am happy I’ve taken it.
6. It’s just how they’re made.
Hormones play a massive part. The same thoughts can trigger floods of tears or a a slightly bummed feeling depending on the state of my hormones.
Also, knowing that you can control your emotions by framing your thoughts helps. For example: Picture a black limousine driving down a shady lane. You can imagine it as part of a funeral procession or a CEO being chauffeured to an important meeting.
You have the facts and your brain tells the story. You learn that you have control over that story.
5. They don’t want to be awkward.
For real though, I’m not gonna cry in front of people. It’s not because of weakness, it’s because it’s awkward as f**k. When I see someone cry, I feel extremely uncomfortable, and I’m uncomfortable about the idea of crying in front of people.
I don’t want them to feel like they’re obligated to give me consolation because I’m crying. I’m in control of my emotions, which means I have good outlets to express what I’m feeling.
4. They bottle it up.
It really, really has to boil inside me for a long time, or be an extremely traumatic experience for me to cry.
I do feel the sadness but the physical reaction of crying just almost never happens, I just freeze up and feel horrible inside. It’s not nice because the feelings are always there, and the release of crying happens so rarely it’s excruciating.
3. They have feelings, just not tears.
Idk what it is, I feel just as bad as anyone as far as I know, it’s just tears aren’t as immediate of a reaction.
2. There’s a price to pay.
I don’t feel happiness either so I guess that’s the “price”
1. It just won’t come out.
It won’t come out! I want it to but it won’t. The stuff that makes me cry is so odd sometimes.
My Husband met my BFF of 30 years (I’m 37 & our Dads are BFF) recently (both military) & the look on my BFF’s face made me cry so hard. He was so happy for me, he approved & accepted & liked my Husband in just a look. It’s burned into my memory. Broke my heart.
I had a small outpatient surgery yesterday- I got a bunch of heartfelt messages. Nothing.
My brother died & I was like meh. F**k him. A**hole. No tears.
My (at the time) 3 year old gave me a crusty animal cracker she dropped on the floor & said “good job” to me. I cried for like 20 minutes.
It makes no sense. Before anyone says it – I’ve been in therapy for years for other stuff but it’s been brought up.
I’m not sure you’d want to apply most of these even if you could.
Are you a crier? Are you not? Tell us which in the comments and whether or not you would change that about yourself if you could.
