Listening to people’s drunken crazy stories is one of my favorite things to do. Let’s be honest: We all like to go a little bonkers, but the consequences…Let’s just say the night might be fun, but it’s not always worth the next morning. Check out these AskReddit users’ best party stories, and save yourself the hangover:
1. Drunk people are easily entertained.
This party had got really out of control, people were drawing all over the walls with markers, the host was crying ect. But the funniest thing I saw was when I walked by the kitchen. There were about 6 people gathered around the microwave, drumming their hands on the counter and keeping a low chant of “ooohhhhh” and then there was a loud pop! Everybody cheered and then they opened the microwave and put more eggs in.
2. Where did he get a weasel!?
A drunk naked guy holding a weasel singing happy birthday to it. Stay clear of Everclear.
3. This party likely got a lot weirder.
Was at a party in high school. It was a pretty big party. People everywhere. I walk into the laundry room to a large group of people, about 15. They were all huddled around a dog kennel with a large blood hound and two collies inside. They were laughing hysterically yelling about some kind of initiation. Perplexed I asked what this initiation was. Then one guy who I don’t think I had even met before proceeded to pull his pants down past his ass and press his cheeks against the metal cage. The dogs all happily licked this kids ass.
I turned around and walked out. Weird shit. Don’t even know what this “initiation” was for.
4. Artistic Genius
We were having a party at our house and one of the guests got a little out of hand. He started breaking beer bottles on the floor and dancing in the shards of glass in his bare feet.
The dance floor cleared and a circle formed around him, watching as he began rolling around on the floor cutting himself on the glass. One of my housemates started yelling at him to get out and he turned to her and said, “Stop censoring my art!”
5. We’ve all been there
A party I threw back in college i went to take a piss, i found there was vomit on ceiling of my bathroom. Minutes later my TV was on fire.
6. “The innate violence of man”
I went to a party in high school that made me believe in mass hysteria similar to wartime germany. I’ve never seen so many normal become so destructive on the turn of a dime.
This chick who was kind of a bitch threw a house party while her parents were out of town. A lot of the school showed up. Guess she thought too many people were there and so she announces that she called the cops. This didn’t sit well with people for some reason and everyone basically rioted. I’m in the basement and see one kid playing golf threw the glass panes of the French doors, and then throwing the tv remote through the ones he missed. I pass a bathroom and a guy is standing on the sink, jumps down smashing through all the drawers that he opened and then awkwardly putting the drawers back in like nothing happened. Then he starts cutting the bottoms of the shampoo bottles out and arranging them like normal. I make my way to the stairs to see a portly kid run down them, use the couch at the bottom as a trampoline and slam into the drywall, leaving a nice Mexican sized hole. Upstairs in the kitchen, one kid from band class is emptying spice bottles up in the back of the cutlery drawer because fuck oregano, and then he grabs some tin foil, throw it in the microwave and set it for 10 minutes and walk away.
People start escaping out to the back deck/yard because it opened to a big field and an easy escape from the cops. One of the neighbors was outside yelling at everyone and this guy walks out with a stack of dinner plates and proceeds to throw them into the darkness, and one directly at the neighbor.
A group of guys were standing on the deck trying to make sure everyone was with them, but they realize they are missing one and it was too hard to go back in through the door while everyone is flooding out, so one guy throws a lawn chair through the glass window, and their fucking buddy comes bounding out like he somehow psychically knew the path was made for him.
At this point in the chaos, I’m like fuck this and I’m up climbing over the wooden fence which is the only way out, but some people cannot make it over the fence so they start to push the entire fence over- this fence was also every neighbors fence as it was all connected, but it just buckled over like some kind of cheap zombie speedbump.
And that was the day I learned of the Innate violence of man.
A horse just chilling in the kitchen of a high rise apartment in Manhattan.
8. It can’t be unheard.
As the party was winding down, my friend was passed on the sofa. He suddenly got up making some grunting sounds. Proceeded to stumble right round the coffee table infront of him and back to the couch. He then pulled down his jeans and boxers and sat back down….. The sound of runny turd squelching between his ass and that leather couch will haunt me for the rest of my life.
9. What a bad idea
Halloween party in college. We basically moved all the furniture out of the house and had just one big open space. Tons of people there. Living room was a dance floor with a DJ.
Everyone is having a great time and then all of a sudden a man comes running into our house in a full KKK costume. Followed by, you guessed right, a group of black guys. The DJ turns off the music. My roommates and I have to jump in the situation. We split the guys up and the guy in the KKK costume rips off his mask and yells “im black, i’m black” He really was black. The angry group of black guys didn’t care about his skin color. We had to explain to them that we did not know this man. Neither did anyone at the party. We had to let the KKK guy out the back door and the black guys out the front. Not sure what happen after that. Thank god they did not murder this man in my house.
10. Don’t…don’t eat the banana…
This girl that was a friend of a friend that nobody else really knew was clearly on something and was pretty out of it. We are all sitting around having a good time, when out of nowhere this girl stands up, walks to the refrigerator, opens the crisper drawer (which had a couple bananas in it) pulls down her pants and proceeds to squat and piss in the crisper. Nobody stopped her when we saw what was going on because I think we were all in shock and couldnt really believe this was actually happening.
Other friend that was trying to get with her, tried to calm the situation by grabbing a banana that had just been pissed on and peels it and eats it to show there is nothing wrong with them.
Later in the night that girl gave a blowie to a 3rd friend in the back yard.
11. Sometimes parties do result in lasting relationships.
Partied in Prague, awoke in Vienna – 2 days later. Had a credit card bill of >650€, a broken rib and a dog.
I kept the dog.
12. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY
Group of us (ages 17-19) around a bonfire drinking beers and girls start asking dudes truth or dare questions. Things start heating up and sexual tension is building up until my buddy asks this drunk girl who chose truth what her craziest masturbation story was. she tells us that mid way through finger banging herself she let her german shepherd mount her and she came. killed the mood that was set because she started bawling when one of the guys called her a dog fucker and the rest of the girls tried to take care of her.
Tl;dr cock blocked by beastiality story.
13. Makes sense
One of my friends turned up to a party in his original mini, something like this. He got completely wasted and didn’t want to drive home, so rather than take a taxi, he pushed his car the whole 3 mile journey.
14. So close, but so far
My father found my brother passed out in his bed. Which is pretty normal really, except that there were no sheets and no blankets – just my brother shivering in his boxer shorts covering himself with an oven rack.
Apparently he’d stumbled home from a party and the sheets were in the wash, so in his drunkenness, he did the only logical thing and pulled the grilling rack from the oven to use as a blanket.
Edit: ok, having read the rest of the thread, I realize now that this story might be a bit tame, so, uh, he also had a gerbil up his ass.
15. Warning: really gross
Party in an apartment our senior year of college. We were very heavily imbibing all sorts of alcohol in a race format. Well one of the rules was if you puked, your team (3 people in total) were disqualified. One of the kids, easily the most insane drunk I’ve ever met, pukes in the kitchen sink. As a joke we say if he eats it they won’t be disqualified. God as my witness he scoops up a handful and downs it. Immediately 5 of us run downstairs, outside into the snow and puke. To his credit, he didn’t puke again and kept drinking…..that image is etched in all of our minds.
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