15 Creepy Things You Could Say To Someone Who Just Woke Up

I hear rumors that there are people out there who love waking up and getting out of bed in the morning, but I feel like they’re definitely in the minority compared to people who struggle a bit to convince themselves to greet a new day.

To add insult to injury, here are 15 totally creepy things you could say to someone just waking up to make things even worse.

15. And you’re in a bathtub of ice.

Just… Just stay still.

We can still stop the bleeding.

14. Holy buckets.

True story: my great aunt woke up one night to find her husband at the foot of the bed with a butcher knife.

He said ‘If you hadn’t woken up, I was going to kill you’. He was institutionalized after that…

All the involved parties are long since gone (natural causes!). I very seldom saw my great aunt since she lived far away and my grandmother never wanted to talk about it…

13. One of my biggest nightmares.

You really should start locking the door…

12. That would do the trick.

“If I were you, I’d go back to sleep ”

*looks confused for a second… goes back to sleep

11. Don’t freak out.

In college, I was out with some friends and got a little too drunk. We had a hotel nearby so I went back and crashed out.

I got woken up like 4 hours later to my buddy saying “Bigjaydub, don’t freak out, just don’t freak out man!”

Of course this woke me up with wide eyes, thinking uhhh why shouldn’t I be freaking out?

Then he says, hey man I’m just getting into the bed, don’t freak out! (as we didn’t have enough beds and had to share).

Well if I’m up, I guess I can go puke some more. Horrible night.

10. Um, that is definitely not ok.

A friend of a friend was staying with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend for a time. She wasn’t a fan of the guy but she was grateful for a place to stay.

She told me she woke up to her sister’s boyfriend crawling into bed with her. Apparently he had whispered, “shhh, it’s okay.”

9. Who is “we?”

We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.

8. This could have gone a whole different way.

One time I woke up to my brother and my dad smiling at me. “We now know what you do at night.” said my brother. That scared me pretty bad as a 13-ish boy that started to know his body. “We got it on the camera.” then my father added.

Pure panic in my eyes. I said what a couple times and when they let me see the pics they had taken, it was just me sleeping with legs crossed.

Jesus, I thought they caught me playing with my willy. Oh, boy I remember that moment of their faces like it was yesterday lol. And I’m almost 30 now.

7. Like waking up in an alternate universe.

Set the language on every streaming service they have to Spanish.

When they wake up, speak to them in Spanish only.

6. Creepy pasta.

I’m surprised the camera flash didn’t wake you up.

made me think of that creepy pasta of the girl who went camping alone with her camera in the woods for a few days only to find photos of herself sleeping in her tent when she got the film developed

5. Straight chills.

You sleep like my dead wife.

4. Thanks a lot, Mom.

“Were you just in my room?”- asked to me when I was 10yrs old at around 3am in the morning by my very worried looking mother.

I woke up pretty quickly because she looked freaked out and worriedly said back, “no, I’ve been sleeping.”

She then looked at me like she didn’t quite believe me and said she had woken up to something, someone around my size walking into her bedroom and standing at the end of her bed and when she asked it if it was me, she watched it run back out of her room so she came to see if it was me and I was pretty sure it wasn’t.

Then she shrugged her shoulders and said she must’ve been imagining it and was going back to bed.

I, on the other hand, stayed awake the rest of the night freaked the fk out.

3. Like a scene from a movie.

Oh it was alive…

Don’t worry we can soon fix that 🙂

Hurry up the kids are waiting

2. Offensively correct.

“Thank you.”

Then you run away as fast as you can, never to be seen again.

Offensively correct.

The other answers did not bother as your answer did.

1. This will definitely get me.

Look at them in horror and scream.

I don’t know why you would want to creep out someone who was just opening their eyes to a new day, but these would definitely do the trick.

What else would you add to this list? If you think it’s creepier than these offerings, add it down in the comments!