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If you’re participating in the online dating world, you know it’s a huge crapshoot. You might meet a really nice person who you click with…or you might have a night out with a total creeper.
AskReddit users went on the record and shared their stories of meeting creepy folks through online dating. Be careful out there!
1. “Ashley”
“Messaged by a girl online. Let’s call her “Ashley.” One of those conversations that immediately took off and we were talking for at least 4 hours straight. We decide to go get dinner. She was even better in person. Beautiful, witty, laughed at my stupid jokes and the whole bit. We exchange goodbyes and that was the end of our evening.
We’re texting until about midnight when she says”You’re going to hate me. We should just be friends.” So I’m like ok, whatever. She calls me the next day and apologizes so I give her a second chance. At the end of this date, we start making out like we’re in middle school and she stops us before we get too far and says she’s not ready for that yet. Ok cool. I can respect that.
So I get home and she texts me saying that I was just going to use her had we had sex (we didn’t) and calling me a pig. Um….ok. Next day I get a text from Ashley’s phone asking if I knew where she was and I was the last person to talk to her. Her “friend” went to her house, where Ashley had apparently left her phone and her car and the front door was wide open. So I told this mystery person to call the cops. When she refused I said that I would and lo & behold, Ashley shows up.
“I had just gone for a walk. Didn’t know you cared about me so much lol.” Yeah ok I’m done with this situation.
The next day I go to work. I usually leave my phone in my truck until lunch, so when I went out for lunch at noon, I had 115 new texts and 48 missed calls. Yup that’s it. I’m done. So I block her number and that’s it.Wrong again. She knew where I worked and the rough time I got off work, which is almost an hour and a half from where she lived. Tried following me home. I took a roundabout way of getting home and ran a few red lights but managed to lose her. It’s been almost a year and I haven’t heard from her since.”
2. Seemed normal…
“Met a guy, chatted, he seemed relatively normal. We go for our first date in a pub. A well-lit pub. We’re having a couple drinks, talking and whatnot, I see his hands under the table, moving around. It cannot be. OH BUT IT IS. He was doing exactly what you think.
Apparently I was turning him on too much and he couldn’t help himself. Date ended pretty quickly after that. The followup is, when I got home he’d sent me an epically long email about how terrible I was. Oh, and ended it with the phrase, “Don’t bother responding, because I will not read it.” Done and done!”
3. Needed to get out of the house
“Met a girl who described herself as a 24-year old woman who’s blonde. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realized that the girl who sat was a 40-year old lady with two children and was just finding an excuse to leave her house.”
4. Complete failure
“I signed up for OK Cupid because I’m busy with grad school and the nearest gay bar is an hour and a half away. Since I work most weekends I figured online dating would be my best option. I messaged a few girls, but nothing ever panned out into a date, so I decided to leave it be and just focus on school for a bit.
Then some girl starts messaging me and she seems alright and she lives in the same city as the aforementioned gay bar, so she’s not too far away. After a few messages I ask her on a date, she agrees. I wasn’t super interested, but I figured I didn’t have anything else to do that day, how bad could it be?
Pretty bad.
There’s a really cool mall in this city and a terrible one, we went to the terrible one. I meet her in the cafe of the book store, she looked so different from her profile pic I didn’t believe it was her. She also had the personality of Lurch from the Adams Family.
But I think Lurch would have had the sense not to wear a Pastafarian t-shirt on a first date. Whatever: I’m here, I’m queer, and I haven’t eaten. I’ll stick this one out.
I suggested that we should go for a bite to eat. She’s vegetarian, but it’s cool; that’s something I’ve tried to do before and I still eat veggie pretty often. We’re walking around the terrible mall and I see a Mexican restaurant.Awesome, I love Mexican food and she can eat beans or whatever.
So I was like, “Hey, this place looks nice. We can eat here.”
“No… I want… to go… to… Five Guys.” Was the monotone reply.
Sure, take me to a burger joint I don’t want to go to and where you can’t eat after I drove half an hour to you, that’s nice.
So I got a burger and she got a mushrooms between bread sandwich. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. She tried to make conversation over how many napkins they give you. She revealed her life goal was to work at a barely above minimum wage job in her hometown after she graduated college.
At this point I should have quietly stood up and left the building without acknowledging her, but I’m an optimist and I figure it had to go up from here.
Nope.
We spend the next 45 minutes walking around the terrible mall. She wants to go to Hot Topic. She was a fully grown adult, not a teenager.
During our slow, short walk she has to take a break, twice. On the first break she told me of all the shows on T.V. that were her idea, like Lost. She told me between breaths that she used to do Brazilian Jujitsu and that she was an athlete. On the second break she told me she had to go at 8:45 (her mom was coming to pick her up) and I told her that I, as it just so happened, had to go at 8:15.
I asked her the time and she told me it was 8:02. I said something to the effect of close enough and got up and left.
I called my friend on the way home to work out some of the frustration. At some point he asked what her name was. It was then I realized that I never bothered to ask. I didn’t even get that girl’s name, if that’s not a complete failure I don’t know that is.”
5. Like a real-life clearance rack
“I have a few gems.
-Go out to dinner. She excuses herself. Five minutes go by. Then 10. At the15 minute mark I flag the waiter, figuring I got bailed on. She comes back a few minutes after, acts like nothing is wrong. Seems kinda jumpy, and is sniveling constantly. Nose starts bleeding. Eventually comes out she did blow in the bathroom.
-Girl shows up to date with her 3 kids, a son and two daughters, all underage 10. It had never been mentioned she had kids, even after I specifically asked. Just looking for a free meal.
-Girl didn’t smile in any of her pics. Being an online dating rookie, pegged her as the “serious” type. Nope. She was the “I only have half of my teeth and the ones I do have look like meth mouth” type.
And sadly, these are just a few. I’ve been on POF and OKC, but have since deleted them both.
Best line I ever heard about these sites? “Online dating is like a real life clearance rack”.
6. The perfect life
“Met up with a girl from OKC over coffee. She was a couple years older than me but she seemed down to earth. Not two minutes into casual warmup conversation, she starts talking about her ex(s) and how she would stalk them at random at their work places.
By the time I get her off this topic, she’s moved on to me and talking about our perfect life together, how she’d secure our love, started demanding passwords to my facebook and email. I walked out shortly into this, and she made a grab for my keys (I had them out as part of the ‘I’m leaving now okay?’).”
7. Nope
“So I’m currently in the military overseas and I got bored one day so I got online thinking, you know what screw it why not. So I’m on the site just messaging a few random girls and start talking to this girl that seemed pretty nice.
Well we hit it off and decided to grab dinner one day. During the dinner I not only found out she only just turned 20 (which really isn’t that big of a deal) but she was also the daughter of one of the Chiefs on my ship.
I kind of just noped out of there.”
8. Not a good idea
“Set a first date for a big Halloween bar hop. I went as hipster Hitler. Never do the first date as Hitler.
To be fair, you can’t read snark on a text. Turns out she was very Jewish.”
9. Plans = Ruined
“I joined an online dating site four years ago hoping to hook up with a bunch of girls. I spent a week messaging a few girls and decided to meet the first of these girls to put my plan into action. We ended up hitting it off and started dating exclusively. Four years later and we are still dating. She completely ruined my plan.”
10. Unforgivable
“This woman seemed really cool. We were both 25, she’d just finished her Masters, and was job hunting. She was fit, witty, and had piercings. I was a fan.
We meet. Well, fit was apparently 5yrs prior, but she was “trying to get back to her normal weight” and so thought it appropriate to use the older photos. I’m talking a 70-85 lb difference from photo to reality. I’m a pretty fit guy and have always been fairly health conscious so this doesn’t appeal to me, but we can be friends.
She’s witty though, so we talk. Where’s the wit? I toss her a couple of verbal jousts. Nothing. Turns out her roommate had been helping her reply to messages. That’s cool, I can be friends with nice people that aren’t witty.
Okay, well her nose ring is actually a weirdly shiny wart that she tries to pass off as a nose ring because she’s embarrassed by it.
All of this isn’t the worst part though.
We were out for dinner and went to a decent gourmet pizza joint. Low lights, thin crusts, and wine. Without asking, she reaches over and starts picking toppings off my pizza. Pardon me, but keep your grubby hands off my prosciutto! It was unforgivable.”
11. House arrest
“I’ve been online dating for the better part of a year, it’s been a blast. I’ve mainly had luck finding casual partners over people to have a relationship with, but that’s okay. Honestly, I don’t mind the wildness. You pay $3 for a beer and have a killer story. Here’s a short list of things
-Girl was on house arrest, “forgot” to tell me
-Girl brought three friends to the first date and wanted me to buy them all cocktails
-Girl brings a binder full of laminated copies of her own poems, asks me to read and critique them at the table.”
12. At least he was gracious
“I met a guy online and found that he was pretty funny, generally good-looking, and professed to be adventurous and open to new experiences.
Perfect! Right?
We go on a walk together on a popular oceanside pathway in my town. We talk the whole time, he definitely has the gift of gab. But something was off. As he walked next to me, he would occasionally jerk his torso into a twist, maybe to look awkwardly behind him for some reason? It happened three times while walking with him, and I only ever saw it out of the corner of my eye because I think he only did it when I wasn’t looking. I decided to write it off as nothing important.
He also warned “When you meet me, my really deep voice may be off-putting” ……what? No. Also, his voice was very average.
We sat down to continue our conversation and that’s when I found that I was on a date with the world’s largest negative Nancy. He described his life like one big series of unfortunate events even if it really wasn’t worth mentioning. Not my cuppa tea.
By the end of that date, I was justifying all of his negativity with his recent management change at work, which turned out to be pretty rough. So we went on another date.
Oh my god worst idea ever.
We went to coffee and for the ensuing hour, I heard the short and long of some chick who recently denied him a relationship. He had literally known her for TWO WEEKS, but apparently he had taken some serious offense.
He whipped out his phone and started sifting through their texts, READING ME HER RESPONSES and getting more and more worked up about the rejection as he read them.
It was sheer misery to sit there pretending to not be incredibly offended.Who wants to hear you obviously pine away for the girl who just rejected you?!
From what I gathered, the girl had gotten the same weird vibe I was getting and had bowed out as quickly as possible. I followed her lead and two days later I met up with the guy to let him know that it just wasn’t working for me.
He was gracious enough. I never got any long, drawn out texts about it.”
13. Security!
“Met a guy I had been communicating with online for about a month. He seemed smart, funny, and we had quite a bit in common – at least on paper. I met him at a nice outdoor spot conveniently located close to the college public safety office just in case. He turned up and was incredibly cute as I had expected from his pictures, but something seemed kind of off from the start.
He talked about his obsession with blaxploitation films for the first full 30 minutes, and then told me he really needed me in his life because his parents had died in a car accident 2 years ago and he had no friends.
Of course I felt terrible for him, but had to be honest about my feelings and let him know that although I did not see us dating in the future,I would love to hang out as friends. The next morning I woke up to 19 text messages from him. I opened my dorm room door and there was a bouquet of flowers.
I had never taken him to my dorm. Attached to the flowers was a note, which read “I am waiting for you at the school chapel. I have been waiting all night. Please please please come see me. I won’t leave until you do.” I ended up calling the college security and they escorted him off campus. I realize it was a jerk move, but not doing so would have likely made a bad situation worse.”
14. Christian Mingle
“An ex roommate of mine had zero luck with the ladies. He was 23 or 24 and met an 18 year old on Christian mingle. One day, he brings her over, and she looks like a worn out truck stop waitress, despite her age, and it was immediately recognizable that she was on something (found out it was Xanax bars) in the first few minutes of meeting the girl.
She spoke very…very…slowly… and I doubt there was an ounce of intelligence in her entire body. After seeing her a few times, we (the other roommates and I) started noticing A LOT of stuff going missing. She wasn’t welcome over after that.”
15. All kinds of guys
“I had been single for two years after the break up of a 4 year relationship and had only been on one date in those two years. Not being the type of girl togo hang out at bars, I signed up for online dating.
The first person to view my profile, before I had even put up a picture, was a good friend who said he was easily able to figure out it was me even without a photo. Ok, good sign that I’m representing myself well.
The first couple of weeks I got the typical creeper messages and had started chatting with a few seemingly normal guys. Things got weird once I started going on dates.
First guy: Had no social skills. Looked like he had slept in the clothes h emet me for breakfast in and hadn’t showered. Said he was an amate*r comedian but the jokes he tried to tell me came off as strange and not funny in the slightest. I had stupidly given him my cell number before we meet and despite sending him a message on the site that I didn’t see anything coming of that one date, he proceeded to text me at random intervals for two months asking to go to one of the open mic nights he was preforming at.
Second guy: Seemed great when we were messaging. Was in a band, had a good job. He lived an hour from me so we agreed to meet at a great bar that was in between us. Stood me up and never responded to the message I sent the next day. He did send me a message about a month later as if we had never spoken before and I had the pleasure of reminding him of the situation and telling him to take a hike.
Third guy: Had a great first date and saw each other 3 more times that same week. Ended up hanging out for three months but only seeing each other every other week or so. Eventually he told me he wasn’t attracted to me any more about the time I was realizing I wanted an actual relationship.
Fourth guy: This was the worst experience. We talked constantly for two weeks. He was ex military, looked really handsome in his pictures. When I pulled in the parking lot at the restaurant, I saw a guy walking and thought oh please don’t let that be him. Surprise! It was him. His pictures were obviously several years old. He had gained at least 50 lbs, his hairline was receding and he was not as handsome as his pictures looked. I’m not shallow so I figured if conversation went as well as online we’d still have fun. Wrong, all he talked about during dinner was his time in the military and barely let me get a word in. He also decided to tell me how he had been engaged until a few months ago, but she had left him. Great topic for a first date.
We then went to a movie and I honestly remember next to nothing about it because I was focusing on keeping his hand off my leg. He kept trying to rub my leg and arm and just generally being creepy. By the time we left the movie he was talking like we were already in a relationship. I was ready to get the heck away from this guy and of course he goes for a kiss which I successfully deflected. Sent him a message the next day saying there was no chance for any sort of relationship and luckily never heard from him again.
Fifth guy: I get a message saying “I don’t know how much we really have in common but…” Talk constantly for a week. Decided to meet for dinner and a movie. He was late because of traffic. Luckily was much cuter than his pictures. Had a wonderful dinner, great conversation, really hitting it off.
Go to the theater and the movie we had planned to see was not playing at that time anymore, I had looked at the wrong day on the website. Ok, chose a different movie that isn’t for 45 minutes. Go to the mall across the street walk around and talk some more. Get back to the theater and that showing is sold out. Buy tickets for the next showing in a half hour, it was opening weekend of the movie so it was on two screens. Sit in the theater for half an hour talking. Kiss then spend the whole movie with his arm around me. Sit in my car for half an hour after the movie talking some more.
And that is how several bad experiences lead up to the most ill planned date ever with the man that I have been with for over a year now and will, eventually, marry.”
