And I mean, who doesn’t love to hunker down over a cup of coffee and take in the latest sordid facts (ish) about their friends, neighbors, and even the strangers at the next table? These 15 tidbits are even better, because you don’t have to leave your house to get them!
#15. One of my favorite humans.
“My sister is pregnant with her third child, third guy. The first father, V, is awesome- he has custody of both their child and her second (no biological relationship to him). The second baby-daddy has apparently been threatening my sister and V after learning of the third child and that V took her in. V and my sister still have a functional platonic relationship at this point, and due to fear of reproach from the 2nd (and maybe the 3rd) V has taken both kids, my pregnant sister, and his own SO with him out of state to make sure there’s no reproach from 2 or 3.
V is one of my favorite humans. He treats the second child like his own, despite no longer being in a romantic relationship with my sister (since 2010). Dude is as good as they come, in my opinion.”
#14. This SoundCloud rapper.
“My Ex After one week of being single started dating this SoundCloud rapper, now she’s pregnant with twins. We’re still in our teens”
#13. He’ll probably save a few bucks, anyway.
“That my uncle left my auntie for the phone sex line worker he was calling for the last three years.”
#12. She doesn’t even have kids.
“I have a coworker I’ll call Jess, who always talks about her kids in detail and asks for favors because of her kids; ie picking up shifts, asking for rides, etc…
One of our other coworkers son goes to the same bar as said girl (she doesn’t know who he is) and one night was spilling her guts about how she always takes advantage of her coworkers and that she doesn’t even have kids.
She doesn’t know that we know
EDIT: Thank you so much for all the comments, gold and suggestions! I will definitely update everyone if anything interesting develops.”
#11. She stole all the candy.
Not recently but the biggest is that my aunt got arrested a while back for embezzlement, she didn’t do any jail time I don’t think just has to pay it back.
This isn’t much of a surprise though because after the roof of the blockbuster she managed collapsed she stole all the candy lol.
#10. Illegal as shit.
“My office manager has a huge giant massive HR case being built against her because she’s been pulling royally shady shit.
Last year, some of us had been having issues with system access at my job, thankfully not me. It’s a known issue and it’s been getting fixed here and there, but then it rears it’s head again.
Anyway, about five or six months ago, a friend of mine in another department started losing access. My office manager (who is my boss’ boss, she runs the whole friggin’ meghilla.) tells this person to go home for the day since you don’t have system access, and specifically told that it wouldn’t be held against her.
So, what the hell, its not like she can do her job anyway right? She goes home. This happens about 8 more times where she comes to work and her systems don’t work and she is told to go home.
Now, fast forward to about two weeks before the year ended. The girl whose been being sent home gets called over by her manager and told that she has to sign a final written warning. When asked why, she is told its because she has used all her FMLA AND sick leave. She said that is not possible and asks for proof before signing the document. Her manager pulls up all the times and days it was used and, lo and behold, it was every single time she was told to go home because of system access.
This is, of course, illegal as shit. My coworker did not choose to go home, she did not choose to use her FMLA and Sick leave. My office manager DID THAT FOR HER.
So just about three weeks ago, my coworker gets called in to our office managers office and is told that she needs to give up her medical records.
Also illegal as fuck.
She declined and told her she will not do that and is still not signing the final written warning.
She then proceeded to call HR with all of this who then tells her, “It’s funny you should bring this to our attention because you’re not the only one whose called us about things like this happening with her. We’re building a case against her as we speak.”
Shits about to go down and im fuckin here for it. I hate my job, and I’ve actively been looking for a new one, but part of me wants to stick around to see if they tote her ass off to jail, or the mass shitshow that will happen when she’s fired.”
#9. So much stuff is happening.
“1) Cousin’s wife finally caught his cheating ass. 3 years he’s been playing her for a fool, but she actually knew. She just loves him too much.
2) Heard that the asshole who got me fired got fired because of the email that I sent to the company’s vp. (Honestly wish I went with filing for a labour case tho.)
3) Apparently, I’m adopted. Not really sure if the ancestry thing works. I want to find my biological parents.
So much stuff is happening. I don’t even know anymore lol”
#8. She should have known better.
“My work requires everyone in our group have security clearance. It’s boring work and the most basic of clearances.
Wednesday a coworkers desk was completely cleaned out. We were told she lost her clearance and was fired. Weird.
Her BFF spilled the beans later. Turns out Sharon had met a man online and they were madly in love. And she cashed out her 401k, her life savings and a second mortgage to send to him. She’s 67.
To no one surprise he’s not a real person and it was all a scam. He claimed he was royalty from Nigeria. Work found out when she started borrowing money from coworkers and it made its way to our boss.
It’s very sad but still…wtf she was around when the whole Nigerian email scam was around! She should have known better.
#7. Which brother is the father?
“A year ago my family member (26) discovered that his fiancé (29) of 7 years, who he has 2 children with had been having an affair with his younger brother, who just turned 18. His brother was living in his house rent free at the time as well. So his fiancé left him for his brother and had a fling with him for a couple months. The younger brother is basically homeless now, jumping from friend to friend to crash at their houses, while working at a job that he makes minimum wage at ($7.25), while she is still living under her ex-fiancé’s roof.
She then decided she wanted to works thing out with her ex-fiancé so they got back together and decided to reconcile the relationship which left the younger brother furious. Shortly after that, she finds out she is pregnant but does not know which brother is the father. Her ex-fiancé said he would raise the baby as his own even if it was not his. So she decides to keep the baby.
This makes the younger brother more furious because she aborted the child before this baby that she knew was the younger brothers. So the younger brother verbally attacks her for aborting that child and keeping this one because there is a chance it is her fiancé’s. She is unemployed during this time, so her fiancé is paying for all of the expenses.
9 months later, still unemployed
She has the baby and it ends up being the younger brothers child and they all try to do co-parenting. The baby is 3 months old now and my family members fiancé left him for his younger brother again!
Edit: Thanks for the silver and gold!
#6. The most petty item I could get.
“My ex wife and I finalized our divorce last June, she’s giving birth in a few weeks with the guy she was cheating on me with. If it was anyone else I wouldn’t care as much, but since it’s this guy, it hurts.
Oh and she email invited me to buy them gifts off of their baby registry, so I’m trying to think of the most petty item I could get, though I know I shouldn’t show I give a shit.”
#5. Fool the parents.
“That my brother asked my mom for a $1000 for rent, she gave him $1400 so he could also pay back a loan. Then he turned around and also asked my dad for $1000 for rent which he also gave him. He then turned around and used the money to buy tickets to burning man.
My parents aren’t going to lend out anymore money without talking to each other first.”
#4. One of the kids figured it out.
“I just found out my neighbour has been having an affair with another one of my neighbours and the kids figured it out.
I used to see them go jogging sometimes”
#3. Pastoral chaos.
“Our pastor was having an affair with his cousins wife. One day while giving a sermon the cousin storms into church, tackles the pastor and starts to throw haymakers at him. The cousins wife is trying to pull her husband off the pastor. The pastors wife quickly figured out what was happening, ran up and clocked the wife from behind knocking her out. People are trying to separate everyone. Total chaos.”
#2. Fourteen years.
“My cousin has been together with his wife for 14 years and has had a girlfriend for just as long! Neither of them knew about the other. He got caught because of an image on Facebook. His wife’s sister posted a family picture which my cousin was in and got recognized by his girlfriend’s sister’s acquaintance.
He got away with that for FOURTEEN YEARS!”
#1. Just found out 30 minutes ago.
“My dad is having an affair. Just found out 30 mins ago. Mom is devastated although I had my suspicions. They’ve been married for 46 years. Dad is 73.”
Send me yours – I’m all ears!