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We all have ’em. Extended family members who come for a visit and turn the entire dynamic on its head.
They’re rude, crude, and they make life miserable for everyone. Do your personal stories top these tales from AskReddit users?
1. Little puke
“Everyone has a story from their childhood that still ticks them off. This is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of the video game Mike Tyson’s Punch Out for my birthday. He was getting his butt kicked by King Hippo and he got so angry, he rage quit. But, he didn’t just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then, he threw it across the room and stormed out.
I told my parents what happened. They told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was still ruined. It would kind-of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday, let alone buy it again.
I was sure I would never be able to play it again.
Then, for Christmas, the little piece of crap got Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Keep in mind, I was five, so I was peeved that Santa brought him a fresh new copy. One of my first thoughts when I realized Santa isn’t real was, That means his PARENTS bought him that game?!?
So, my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome.”
2. And they never spoke again
“When I was much younger, my mom’s aunt came to visit and brought her dog. We did not see her too much, but she was close with my mom back when she was a kid. During the visit, the dog dropped a load on the living room carpet. Not a big deal, one would think, but my mom had the audacity to ask her to clean up after her own dog.
Apparently, this was a degree of rudeness my aunt had never experienced before from a ‘host.’ The offense was so deep that she never spoke to my mother… For. The. Rest. Of. Her. Life. She moved across the country. The only time we ever heard from her again was when I got a letter from her saying that I should get some genetic tests for something that might be in the family.
Final plot twist: since she never married and I was the only male descendant in her family line, she left me everything in her will.”
3. She’s a disaster
“My cousin had just gotten kicked out of her parents’ house for the umpteenth time. She came over to vent to my mom, who made her coffee, let her scream, and was trying to be the supportive aunt. My cousin then asked to borrow our phone.
It turned out that there was this woman who provided a ‘spiritual/mental health service’ and had stopped offering her services to my cousin when she made it clear she was crazy. The woman told my cousin she needed ‘professional medical help.’ My cousin took it the wrong way, doxxed the woman, and then started harassing her on the phone to the point at which she got blocked.
Using our phone was the only way my cousin could continue to harass her.
I don’t remember how my dad got her out of the locked bathroom, but he did and kicked her out. The woman reported our phone number to the police. It was a whole mess trying to work it out at first, but once the woman agreed to talk to my dad, all he really had to say was, ‘She came over and -‘ and the woman, basically, said, ‘Oh, I get it now. No worries. She’s a disaster.'”
4. The jerk store called…
“My grandpa was visiting us for a day and I was ill. I had a fever, so I was in bed, resting. After we all ate lunch, I crawled back into my bed. Five minutes later, my grandfather came into my room, kicked me out of my bed, and started to have a nap. My mom came to my room to check on me a few minutes later. She found me laying on the floor next to bed. She kicked him out of my bed, told him to leave.
I was about 10 years old then.
My grandpa is useless but believes men run the world. My grandma only had two daughters and he was ticked. The eldest sibling is always ‘the best,’ but my mom – the youngest – was brighter than the eldest, which also ticked grandpa off. Then my mom had me and my little brother. Being a girl, he was angry with my arrival but ecstatic with my brother. He tried to control my brother, but he couldn’t because he was growing old and my parents and grandma interfered with it constantly.
I was weaker than him, so I was an easy target for him. He also came to visit me while I was in the hospital when I was 13 after I had major surgery. He pushed me to the corner of my bed so he could lie down to have a nap. A nurse came into my room and found my grandpa doing this. She told him to get out, but he just said he was tired and to give him a break. She said no, and she tried to pull him out of the bed, but he’s a big man.
He wouldn’t budge. She then left, came back with a few other nurses and a security guard, and physically removed him. The security guard escorted him out of the hospital.
He did so much more than take my bed – such as the time he tried to run me over with his car.
He took me shopping and it was extremely boring for me because he only shopped for himself and he made me carry everything he bought. Once we got back to his car, he had me put everything away in the trunk and as soon as I closed the trunk, he drove away.
WHAT?
I was confused, didn’t know what to do so I just stood there, lost. But he came back a few minutes later, laughing and saying, ‘You didn’t really think I’d leave you, did you?’ I was upset but happy he came back so I reached for the door…and I missed because he moved the car forward. He did that few more times and drove away, again.
I was crying at this point. Then I spotted something on the ground.
It was my angel pocket (Polly Pocket)! I must have dropped it while I was chasing the car. I started to walk toward it and I saw him coming this way. The next moment my butt was on the ground and the car stopped right in front of me with loud screech. He sped up and braked to scare me. I sure was scared alright, I thought he was going to run me over.
I was crying uncontrollably. He told me to shut up and get in.
As we were leaving the parking lot, he said, ‘You’re no fun, it was just a joke, I sure had fun.’
My grandpa is a jerk.”
5. Little sister
“My little sister, who was 23 at the time, stayed at my house and watched my three dogs for a month while my husband and I went to Europe. One of these dogs happened to be an eight-week-old puppy of hers which we adopted because she couldn’t keep him after a recent break up and move. Everything seemed to be going just fine, via the FaceTime calls and almost daily texts.
But, it was a whole different story when we got home.
There was dog pee and crap everywhere! Under the kitchen table, all over inside and the entire surrounding area by the puppies’ kennel. She, apparently, ran out of puppy pads and, instead, started using our freaking bath towels to line the kennel.
Instead of washing the towels, she threw them in a pile in the back yard. When she ran out of towels, she moved onto my husband’s shirts that were in the laundry.
She also had some guy stay with her, whom she allowed to smoke in our house, including our bedroom. At one point, she accidentally locked herself out, climbed through a window, and broke a lamp in the process.
She also broke our vacuum in her pathetic attempt to clean up before we came home.
While all of this was happening, a pipe apparently broke underground in the backyard on day four of our trip. It was raining heavily, so it was hard to tell, especially if you completely ignored the sound of a full blast of running water and the notice that was put on our door by the city to contact them urgently.
My sister took the notice, set it on the table, and never mentioned it. We came home to an $1,800 water bill on top of everything else.
It was an utter DISASTER to come home to after a month of traveling and a full day of flying. We were freaking FURIOUS. We made her pay to replace all of our towels, have the carpets cleaned, and she paid for the puppies’ food and pet insurance for a year.
I didn’t talk to her for quite a while after that.
My little sister is fine now. It has been years and she is back to who she normally was: a responsible, tidy, respectful person. This whole thing happened to coincide with an awful break up she had after years together that spun her into depression and self-worth issues, paired with some heavy drinking.
Our relationship is back on track and has been since she profusely apologized and paid up, I had refused to speak to her for about seven months because of it. At the end of the day, it’s just stuff.”
6. Idiots
“My idiot cousins were allowed to run wild. I hated it when they came over. The younger one was around 11 and was just oblivious to all social expectations. He helped himself to the fridge and ate all the ice cream we had, then complained that it wasn’t any good, and just roamed around the house rummaging through our stuff.
His older brother, who is a year older than me and was 16 at the time, waltzed into my room and started messing with my guitars, which I was protective of because they’re freaking expensive.
He would change the tuning, whack it around, etc. Then, he picked up my air cannon, which was powerful enough to kill at least a squirrel or rabbit, went outside, and started pointing it at my neighbor’s cows.
I am very non-confrontational and usually just put up with annoyances, but I tore into him for that.
I was taught from the time I was a toddler that you don’t ever treat weapons like toys and you never point them at anything you don’t intend to shoot, whether it’s loaded or not. Especially freaking living creatures.
Thankfully, they were not closely related and I only saw them, maybe, five times in my life, but them being, basically, strangers to me made their behavior even more mind-boggling.”
7. Mommy dearest
“I let my mom and her husband stay at my apartment during a particularly cold winter a few years ago. They were homeless addicts at the time. I had put the simple rule of ‘Don’t bring that home’ and I would allow them to stay.
For the first month or so, it remained an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ sort of thing. Not ideal, but I didn’t want to ditch my family at such a bad time. Eventually, they had to mess it all up.
Without going into too many details, her husband had a warrant out for his arrest.
I was unaware of this at the time. So, I got to be woken up at one in the morning to my mom busting into my bedroom to let me know that the cops were in my living room. Of course, I groggily made my way out to one of the most irritable cops I have ever met.
He demanded to know where my mom’s husband was.
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I was asleep.’
They searched around the apartment looking for him and made a general mess. About an hour later, they left. At that point, I needed to be up at 4 am for work and I was too angry to even care.
I went to bed. The cops ended up watching my apartment for about a month.
To make matters worse, about three to four days later, I hopped onto my computer in the living room. I noticed that my mom had left her email open and decided to do some snooping about.
This may not be my best moment, but I came across an email chain from earlier that day about scoring some dope for later that night. I was livid. Bringing the cops into my home at horrible hours and then not holding to the only thing I asked them to do?
I tried not to ask for much and they could not abide by that one simple thing. I didn’t ask them to quit, just to not bring it into my home.
I saved some choice screenshots and called my work asking for the following day off.
When my mother and her boyfriend came back, I told them to be gone the next day and they would not be welcome back. I stayed home to make sure they didn’t steal anything and made sure they didn’t have a key.
I sure as heck wasn’t happy about it, but boundaries needed to be placed. I had been dealing with their addiction for years and I wasn’t going to have it continue to affect my life. As it stands now, she doesn’t even know where I live anymore, and I don’t plan on telling her.
Not gonna happen again.”
8. Follow the rules
“My wife’s younger cousin came to live with us temporarily until he could get a place and a job. I only had two rules: make sure to close the back and front doors so the cats wouldn’t get out and don’t bring people we don’t know into the house.
Sure as heck, I woke up one night at around 2 am and he was in the guest room hosting who the heck knows who and the back door was hanging open about a foot.”
9. You can’t stay here again
“My dad had a five-star treehouse built in our backyard – electricity, hot and cold running water, fridge, microwave, insulation, etc. It is honestly more of a spare room. As such, sometimes we’ll put guests up in it.
My ‘uncle’ (my dad’s cousin) is notoriously cheap. He would often hit us up for a place to crash when he came to visit his in-laws rather than get a hotel, even though he would never spend time with us while visiting and he and his wife each made well over six figures.
Every time he would stay, my dad would walk him around the treehouse and show him how to use everything.
One such thing was this really cool octagonal window, which had a crank you could turn to open it and a lever you could pull to lock it. My dad would always stress to my uncle to never force the window open and to ensure it was unlocked before trying to open it, otherwise the window could break.
One time when he stayed, he told us that he would be leaving at noon, but when my dad woke at around 6 am, he could see from our kitchen that the lights in the treehouse were on and it looked like he was moving his bags outside the front door.
My dad, being a friendly guy, went down to the treehouse in his pajamas to say goodbye and help him carry his luggage to the car. Upon coming to the front door, he noticed that my uncle seemed like he was in a really big hurry to leave.
That was when he noticed that the octagonal window was cracked and would need to be replaced. The window was pretty expensive, too.
He asked my uncle about it. He stumbled over his words and mumbled something about it not working right.
My dad noticed that the lever was locked, meaning my uncle had tried to open it while it was locked and, when it wouldn’t work, he attempted to force it open, exactly as my dad had instructed him not to do.
It then hit my dad that this imbecile was so cheap that he was trying to leave before my dad woke up in the hopes that he wouldn’t notice for a while and he wouldn’t have to pay for it.
My dad was nice but told my uncle that he would send him a bill once it was repaired. Surprisingly, my uncle paid for it. Even more surprisingly, the next time he was visiting his in-laws, he asked if he could stay again.
Unsurprisingly, my dad said no.”
10. Inconsiderate
“My mom remarried when I was 11 to my step father, whom I will call ‘Jim.’ Now, Jim is awesome. He is literally the best thing to happen to my mom, to me, and to my siblings. My biological father was an abusive and often wasted.
The only flaw Jim has is that his family (a.k.a. my step extended family) are the most inconsiderate people in the world.
One example is his sister, whom I will call ‘Nina.’ Now, Nina is exactly one year older than Jim.
She is a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a.k.a. Mormon. Nina, throughout her life, has had this ‘holier than thou’ attitude when it came to interactions with any living person on the planet who does dedicate their entire life to the Mormon God.
Also, Nina is morbidly obese and doesn’t care for her appearance.
Well, Nina finally had a first real boyfriend by the age of 35, which, in Mormon culture, meant that if you are not married with five children by then, you were destined to die alone.
She met a 50-year-old divorcee and, after about three months, got engaged and married. After that, she became anxious to have a child. Her doctors told her that, most likely, her child would have about ten developmental problems, due to the age of her husband’s sperm and her extremely unhealthy style.
Then, she got pregnant. As soon as she gave birth, her child, whom I will call ‘Lehi,’ was discovered to not have an actual butthole, had only half of a heart developed, and one kidney.
Now, my mom and Jim live near the best hospital for children that is near where Lehi was staying.
My mom and Jim opened up our household as a place for Nina and her husband to stay while their son was in the hospital. That way they would not have to rake up any bills by staying in a hotel since they lived in an adjacent state.
They lived in our house on and off for about two years.
When they stayed at the house, they did these weird things, such as eating all the food in our house without replenishing or compensating for them, weird angry lovemaking for hours or Nina dirty talking about trying to pump her own milk in our living room while my older brother and I (a 12-year-old female) watched The Daily Show.
When they had Lehi in the house, Nina would change poopy diapers on the couch with a blanket cover, effectively getting crap all over the leather couch. Then, she would put the dirty diapers only in bathroom trash cans, overflowing them.
The whole experience made me realize that if I had a kid, I would bottle my baby.
After seeing an obese woman try to jam her bigger-than-a-baseball natural pacifier into a pump in my living room without warning, I don’t give a crap about what people would say about my decision. Just nope.”
11. Crashing on the couch
“My cousin was in town and was crashing on our couch. He had a habit of just making himself at home without asking about things – eating food, borrowing clothing, etc. I got home from class one day and my cousin, sporting a fresh buzzcut, patted me on the back and said, ‘Thanks for letting me use your hair clippers!’
‘Uh,’ I said to him, ‘do I have short hair?’
‘No,’ my cousin replied.
‘Do I have a beard?’
He paused before replying, ‘No…’
‘What do you think I keep the hair clippers for?’
‘OH DARN IT! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT’S HAPPENED TO ME!'”
12. Imbecile
“I was six years old and my aunt would come over and bring along my little imbecile of a cousin who was a year younger than me. This kid would follow me around and want to do everything I was doing. I would start playing PlayStation and he wanted me to stop so he could play.
I would use the computer, than all of the sudden he wanted to, so I had to let him. It was the same for toys, etc.
I was always forced to let him do this to me because if I told him no, he would cry, and not just any cry.
It was the most obnoxious, annoying, fake cry anyone could ever cry. Of course, I knew it was fake, but my mom and aunt wanted him to shut the heck up, so they made me give him whatever he wanted.
They came over multiple times a week and the same thing happened every time.
One time, I even shoved him, telling him no, but he cried and cried and cried. Once he got what he wanted with the power of the parents on his side, he always gave me this stupid smirk.
One day though, I had enough and went full Rocky on his left arm, throwing a left hook, right hook, over and over until I was out of breath.
That day, his cry was real and it was one of those where he couldn’t talk because he was crying so much. I got in so much trouble, but boy was it worth it.”
13. Awful cousins
“Cousins can be awful. When I was really young I got a cute tea set for my birthday and was really excited about it. A few days later all my cousins were over and us girls all wanted to play with the tea set. My older cousin was mad for whatever reason, came in and started chucking the cups and plates at the wall. I ran out crying for my mom, his parents said sorry and they all left and my mom was left to clean up all the broken pieces and comfort me.”
14. Maybe we should just avoid cousins
“Must be something about cousins. One of mine talked my brother into seeing if my model planes would really fly. They were both off school and I had made loads of planes from sopwith camel to (my favourite at the time) the F14. They were all painted and positioned on my 2 windowsills and about 8 shelves. I got back from school and the front pavement was a seen from a battlefield.
There was plastic everywhere. I was a mess when I realised what they were. Nothing was ever really done to them as everyone thought it was a case of boys being boys. That Christmas I got a Lancaster bomber from my parents and a zero from my uncle but I never made another model again. Even now my kids have a couple of planes and they have asked me to help but they are still on the shelf.”
15. SOB
“I had saved up allowance for several months to buy a GI JOE Tiger Force “Tiger Fly”. I had it on layaway and every Friday would put my few dollars’ allowance on it. I was so excited to get this thing.
The very afternoon I finally bought it and took it home, a family friend came over and their son joined me outside in the driveway where I was playing with it. I was running around holding it up as if it were flying when he grabs from my hands and throws it as hard as he could at the garage door where it pretty much just shattered into pieces. He wanted to see if it could “really fly”. I was furious, went inside and told his and my mom and he outright denied it and even cried crocodile tears saying I was lying and I had dropped it and it broke. It was never replaced.
About 3 months later, he got one as part of a huge box of GI Joe toys for his birthday and just put it aside and played with only the Roadblock figure for the rest of his birthday party. I was so tempted to take the helicopter and run off. To this day, it is one of my biggest regrets, as is not punching him in the teeth when he threw my helicopter in the first place.”
Okay, so wow… that was a wild ride. Just because you’re related to somebody, doesn’t mean you’re family. Always remember that.
Got any hair-raising tales like this in your situation?
Let us know in the comments!
