Are you ready for horror movie season?!?! September is officially (but not officially) fall, and that means it’s practically October! We’re so close…
But for some of us, horror season is a year-round obsession. And if you’re like me, you’re gonna love these jokes about all things creepy and scary.
1. Michael Myers is actually a pretty sensitive guy.
when they always ask u why u killin them but they never ask whats killin u pic.twitter.com/duFZ7bKddH
— pauline 🍒 (@icywiifey) October 3, 2018
2. Chucky, what did you do to yourself?!?!
Hollywood done got to Chucky. This mf done got Botox, a eyebrow lift, facelift, and fillers. Smh. pic.twitter.com/ii5UvE8i6d
— Khadi Don (@KhadiDon) June 20, 2019
3. That’s true. Always a researching at the library scene.
Horror movies don't get enough credit for encouraging kids to pursue research at their local library
— Nadia Bulkin (@nadiabulkin) August 11, 2019
4. He needs to get all amped up.
How Michael Meyers gets ready before his kills pic.twitter.com/8XWcvvCNtM
— zel (@denzeldion) October 28, 2018
5. The loudmouth always gets it first.
kid in a scary movie outside a haunted house: ok we saw it can we go now
kid who will definitely die in 12 minutes: what are you C H I C K E N
— shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) June 3, 2019
6. Creeping into old age like…
Michael Myers would be 61 years old at this point so even if Jamie Lee Curtis doesn’t get him the arthritis will
— Luc (@ellkay_) October 21, 2018
7. You really blew it this time…
Tbt to Halloween when I dressed as the babadook but my friend's house had more of a grown ups drinking wine vibe pic.twitter.com/PoGKUFeLLw
— Katie Dippold (@katiedippold) June 30, 2016
8. Both creepy in their own special ways.
Hereditary vs. Midsommar pic.twitter.com/IuFi379eYK
— Joey Nolfi @ TIFF (@joeynolfi) July 4, 2019
9. I’m with you, friend!
scary movies need to step their game up. I’m not tryna to be just “spooked” I want to be shook so hard I permanently vibrate for the rest of my life. that’s what I want. that’s what I need. thank you
— queen quen (@quenblackwell) October 18, 2018
10. Poor guy. Maybe that’s why he’s so angry.
freddy krueger could never wipe his own ass and that's the true horror story
— 𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖊 🦇 (@thholyghost) June 10, 2019
11. Let’s head that way, white friends!
White folks in horror movies be like… pic.twitter.com/jlK0m8103C
— Benihana Buddy (@Lbuddy84) May 14, 2016
12. They’re trying to make you let your guard down.
“It’s not even that scary a movie, it’s more of a thriller” – someone who is fucking lying to you
— PJ Vogt (@PJVogt) August 19, 2019
13. It’s not so easy, okay?
how did chucky manage to murder so many people??? just pick him up and yeet him in the bin. he's a doll
— 𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖊 🦇 (@thholyghost) October 16, 2018
14. I can’t say I agree with you.
if i watch a scary movie I’m gonna need to watch every Disney movie ever made to bring me back to myself. on second thought, let’s not watch a scary movie and just watch Disney movies instead
— camila (@Camila_Cabello) October 18, 2018
15. Ghostface doesn’t have time for that right now.
Ghostface: What’s your favorite scary movie?
Me: Well, I just binged the works of Amando de Ossorio. His quartet of “Blind Dead” films started the Spanish horror boom of the 70s. What they lack in characterization they make up for in mood, plus…
Ghostface: Jesus (hangs up)
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) March 27, 2019
I’m so excited I could scream for joy.
What are some of your favorite horror movies? Share your thoughts in the comments!