Every fan of a series like Harry Potter, which is more than a story – it’s an entire world – knows that there will always be characters and interactions and happenings that didn’t make it onto the page.
We would have read about them forever, of course, but authors want to move on and blah blah blah.
So believe me when I say that I am here for these musings about the teenage crap these kids got up to when they weren’t saving the world from Voldemort and all of that.
16. This status just proves how much people think about it.
btw, I’m drunk
That FUCking Harry Potter basTARD! throws bottle I spend all year earning fucking house points and passing every test. We only get so close to beating Ssssslutherin because of me. Because of me. mE!
And this bitch? You know what he does? Guess! Guess what this bitch does?
HE EaRNS LIKE 50 FUCKiNG HOUSE POINTS DOING SomE STUPID AsS shit like like like fighting a FUCKING BIG ASS SNAKE! HE ALREADY LOST 400 TWO MONTHS AGO! YoUR 50 hOuSe PoInts mean SHITE POTTER!
And y know what they do? Know what they do?
They carry him off like a fucking hero! Carry him on their shoulders and everything. FOR FIFTY FUCKING HOUSE POINTS!
Know how many I earned? 900! I’m the FUCKING Hero biTCH!
15. There is a curious lack of music.
Lots of loud, angsty music. During Harry’s time at Hogwarts you get the feeling there’d be a constant echo of The Cure drifting through the corridors.
14. It was definitely run by the wildest kids in every house.
There was definitely a Hogwarts Fight Club. Not just the DA, which was more of a secret self defense class, but a legit, underground dueling club with betting and shit.
13. Honestly I’d be disappointed if they weren’t.
Fred and George were definitely slinging that fairy dust.
12. Senior prank day would have been a thing to behold.
I bet they had 1000 ways to cheat at everything.
Senior prank day had to be amazing.
11. You know this is a thing that happened!
Couples making an unbreakable vow to stay together and then either being miserable their entire lives or dying 6 months later.
10. With great power comes great responsibility and all that.
So many pranks/harassment.
When you can jinx somebody from across the room, and make them vomit slugs? That place would be packed full of asshole kids.
9. One of many lingering questions.
What exactly was Aberforth doing with those goats? “Inappropriate charms” can mean quite a few things.
8. Probably all of the above, honestly.
The Engorgio charm. Either on boobs, asses, or dicks.
7. But they have the paintings and stuff to spy for them…
It’s a school with a hundred “empty classrooms” and abandoned spaces with hundreds of horny teens running around. I want to know more about wizard birth control. They’ve gotta have better shit than we do.
6. That woman has seen a lot, I’m sure of it.
Given that children as young as 11 are given wands and potion ingredients, there have to be just… SO many weird genital injuries that Madame Pomfrey has to deal with.
5. It’s a matter of personal expression!
You know every year there was that student who refused to follow dress code.
Full length robe.. don’t shame me… I am going thigh length.
Wizard hat on sideways.
4. That’s a whole level of discussion that wasn’t broached.
I’ve always wondered what the limit to magical plastic surgery is. When Hermione had her teeth shrunk, she let Madam Pomfrey not only shrink them back to normal size, she also had them straightened. What is the extent of body modification available to people without having to go to a medical witch or wizard specialist?
3. This should have been incorporated. Disappointed!
Breakups via howler in the dining hall.
2. I think we all know the answer to that.
A lot of skirts, a lot of wands and the first thing they teach you is ‘leviosa”. What could go wrong?
1. I’m pretty sure that’s most of the other kids until the final battle came home.
I always thought it make for a hilarious spinoff series if you followed class mates of Potter’s who were just getting high, getting in trouble, and thought potter and the other main characters were nerds
I could read these for hours, you guys!
What would your contribution be? Tell us in the comments!