More and more people are able to choose a child-free life now, and more and more people are doing exactly that – making the choice that’s best for them and their future.
People who are parents often wonder why they would do such a thing, and are curious about their reasons (and possibly a little jealous of the sleep they’re getting). If that’s you, now’s your chance to understand a little better – these 16 people are opening up about their choice to be child-free.
16. They don’t want anything to change.
Myself (f31) and fiance (m33) have been together 12 years, no kids. Within past few years we’ve both finally got jobs we’ve been working towards and a nice income. We like our life, being able to go away for a night or two or out for nice meals as we can afford it. Then have quiet evenings watching Netflix.
Neither of us want a child enough to actually have one. We talk about it frequently to check we’re on the same page. Working well for us.
15. So many people’s fear.
I don’t want to become like my mother.
14. There are things they don’t want to pass on.
I have Crohn’s disease and I would never wish this on anybody.
My husband and I are too selfish for children.
We like having money and being able to do whatever we want when we want.
I also had a hysterectomy so I genuinely can’t bear children.
We love our nieces and nephews and get to spoil them when we want!
13. There’s more than one way to have a family.
So I’ll be adopting a child/teen instead of having a biological child.
There are so many kids/teens in desperate need of a home and a loving family and I’d love to make their world.
12. They’re being careful.
I was born with a birth defect that is genetic.
No way would I EVER pass it on to a child.
Unlike many on this subReddit, I do like children.
What I really dislike are the people who somehow think they are better than you because they have children.
Drives me nuts!
11. You can’t take it back.
It’s like “super” permanent markers.
You would think the concept of permanent would be a dichotomous one, but some manufacturers apparently want to convince you it’s scaled along a gradient.
I was once accosted by an unfortunate person who grabbed me and shouted, “Please help me! I am VERY homeless!”
That emphasis on ‘very’ is still probably my favorite example of dishonesty in marketing.
10. They like their freedom.
I’m selfish and love having the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I don’t have to adjust my schedule or turn down opportunities.
Autism also runs in my family and I don’t want that life at all seeing how much my mom has sacrificed for my special needs brothers.
9. Confidence is key.
I guess it’s a mix of not wanting my own life to be on hold for 20+ years and not being convinced I’d be a very good parent.
People look at me funny when I try to bring that up, because I think most people feel if you’re not a bad person you should be a good parent, but I don’t agree.
You have to be so patient and committed to raising you kids in order to be a good parent, And I just don’t see myself being able to do it. Also, it’s not hard to find stories of how bad parentage completely ruin a child’s life well into adulthood, and it doesn’t even require the parent to be abusive or anything drastic, just not be fully committed to parenting.
Maybe you get a little distant, or you don’t really to put in the effort in the early years, that s*%t can have lasting effects on a kid.
8. It’s super scary.
I don’t want to be responsible for another human being, and sacrifice my body and time for a baby. Also, feeling helpless when you can’t help someone you really love and you need to come to terms of letting go- that scares me shitless.
7. They don’t want history to repeat itself.
Had my share of relationships where baby fever almost changed that, but I just let it end. I do understand how guys get roped into having children when they probably would rather not though.
Also most of my 20s I couldn’t point my finger on what I resented about my own parents and didn’t want history to repeat. Plus I had a bit of a drinking problem. I’m about to get married again and we basically decided we might have kids but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen and I’m at the point in life where I’m ok with it.
6. Simple as that.
We didn’t want to.
Which is a very good reason.
I told one of our (husband’s and I) best friends this and he said, “well what’s even the point then?”
As if all childfree people should just kill themselves? What a nut. We asked for clarification and it was exactly what he meant. It’s a surprisingly common belief too.
5. Just no desire.
I just have no desire for children. I don’t particularly like children nor do I want to be responsible for another life like that.
I’m at the age where a lot of the friend group are having one/two and my fiancé and I always get asked when we’re going to start a family. I’m not maternal, I don’t like being around them for long periods of time and I love our life now.
You don’t need to have children to be complete.
4. A pro/con list.
I believe you should only have a child unless you truly want to and I just don’t have that desire. Raising a child just seems like constant anxiety and stress to me. I like having my own space and life , watching my older siblings raise their kids seems like a full time job with very little benefits.
Plus giving birth terrified me, I’ve heard too many horror birth and pregnancy stories. If I had a kid followed by postpartum depression with my already existing mental health issues I’d be an endangerment to that kid and myself. I see more cons than pros
3. Just because.
I’m surprised how people can’t wrap their heads around “I just don’t want kids.” There doesn’t always have to be some traumatic backstory but for some reason people always seem to expect one.
I believe it’s cultural programming more than anything. The larger culture just expects young people to eventually marry, settle down, have kids, be part of the community, grow old gracefully… then die.
Many MANY people don’t really question that narrative.
2. They’re animal lovers.
I’d rather have dogs, cats, goats, chickens, a mini donkey, and a horse
Prioritizing my own mental health. That alone is probably a labour of a lifetime for me
Ending the cycle of generational trauma my family has passed down to me
I’d rather spend that time, energy, and money giving to other people who need help
Not passing down traits of alcoholism and mental health disorders
It’s a moral choice for me about not putting another human into a world stumbling towards an impending environmental crisis (though I don’t judge people who have children)
1. It’s a lot of work.
I can barely take care of myself and a cat, never mind a kid
These are super valid and I love how seriously people are thinking about it.
If you’re child-free, enlighten us further in the comments!