I know the locker room is supposed to be sacred space for athletes. They’re supposed to be able to break down, vent, celebrate, and never worry that anyone is going to blab about it later.
That said, this is the internet, and everything is anonymous, right?
So let’s go ahead and enjoy these 17 locker room stories from athletes who are willing to tell.
17. Quite the skill.
Ice hockey locker room had our boy Lane drop his pants, pull his penis up and then “dance” his testicles individually up and down. He had total control over each teste and was very skilled.
10/10 teste dance.
16. Boys are gross.
Two stories. Same guy. Same year
During wrestling he convinces a kid to see if he can fit inside the lockers in the team locker room.
They were large since they were designed for football pads but all sports used them so it wasn’t really too unexpected he would fit (Probably like 3’x2’x2′). Once he’s in the locker and closes the door, the kid that dared him closes the locker, locks it and proceeds to piss on him.
During baseball season we get back from an away game and dude needs to take a crap. Rather than using the two stalls in the bathroom, or god forbid going to another bathroom, he takes a dump in the sink and leaves it there.
Next day the janitor comes in and finds it and tells the coach. That day all show up to practice and he goes off on us and tells us to run along the outfield wall from foul pole to foul pole like 10 times.
Most everyone took at as a joke and was clowning around so stopped us halfway through and made us start over. Ran like 5-6 miles because of that dumba$$ but luckily I was in cross-country shape.
Eff you Daniel.
15. That will ruin your weekend.
The one that I remember most vividly was halftime during a HS football game and right after a kid had his balls stepped on.
He was screaming as the trainer took his pants off to reveal a sack the size of a grapefruit.
14. Just a stump.
I was not physically there but happened at my school and I knew about it because the kid posted a picture on Instagram. A guy had his hand resting on the door frame while he was talking to someone else and not paying attention, and another kid kicked the door closed for some reason.
Took part of his middle finger clean off at the last knuckle. His Instagram picture was captioned “the doctors don’t know if it’ll grow back” and showed the stump
13. How did that make them feel?
Without getting too specific at football camp in HS the seniors made a kid eat a ring pop a guy was clinching in his a$$.
School found out and we all had to write letters about how it made us feel
12. Hard to blame the guy.
After practice there’s ~15 guys waiting to use 3 showers. Once one of them broke and would only give cold water. Some days later this “tough dude” didn’t want to wait anymore and just showered with the cold-ass water, all the other dudes still waiting to use the 2 warm showers.
This goes on for maybe 10 days, with no one ever trying to use the broken shower, then our coach tells us it’s been repaired the day “tough dude” started using it again and he was supposed to tell us.
11. That IS wild.
Beer league hockey. I roll up to a new team with a full cooler of beer as a new-guy peace offering. Quickly I find out that I’m the only one on the team to drink beer.
Wildest s*%t I’ve ever seen.
10. Shower shenanigans.
While showering after wrestling practice I felt something was off, looked down and my leg was getting pissed on by our heavyweight. My gut reaction was to throw my bar of soap at him.
So I did and it hit him directly in the balls.
He was laying on the concrete shower floor in pain for at least a minute. I was terrified the whole time because, while he liked being the joker/crazy guy he’d also beat the shit out of a few kids over the last few years.
By the time he recovered he was calm and finished showering with no more shenanigans. Even though I was the victim of a leg pissing I still felt lucky that day that he didn’t retaliate against me for the soap in the balls.
A fight against this dude would not have ended in my favor, I guarantee it.
9. I mean, what did they expect?
Open Showering after morning practice.
People started blowing giant shampoo bubbles and tried to see who could successfully transfer the bubbles to completely cover their junk like a crotch space helmet.
8. Swimmers are the weirdest.
Several guys on my wrestling team enjoyed walking up to others in the large, group showers and talking to them to distract them from the fact they were pissing on them. The goal was apparently to see how long you could piss on them before they noticed.
The swimmers were far weirder though. So many naked handstand twerking-like dances. And half the time they’d practice naked.
7. See? A weird bunch.
Freshman year on my old high school swim team certain swimmers ripped the stall doors and dividers down so that nobody could crap in peace, the facility didn’t replace them until my junior year, when they were once again ripped down.
And then there was the guy that always helicoptered his d$*k in the middle of the locker room… swimmers are a weird bunch.
6. It’s that last bit that really pushes it over the edge.
AA ice hockey, the one year I made it on the team I was like 13-14. I was never one to shower after games but some of the kids did, this one kid races out of his gear to get into the shower first and starts showering but peeks his head around the wall every once in a while. After one of the other guys goes to shower we hear a loud “WHAT THE F**K MAN”
Apparently he was jerking off with conditioner and fingering his a$$ at the same time and didn’t stop even once we caught him.
5. Not exactly average.
I wasn’t present at the time but I heard this second hand. So it was back in middle school and the football team was in their locker room. This was the first time a lot of the boys had been naked in public before so at first every one was super shy and did their best to cover up after showers and dress quickly without be posing themselves.
As the year goes on they get braver and start letting things hang out. Well the guy who was at the locker next to my friend turns around and sits on the bench and a few people notice that this kids d*%k is curly. Like curled back so that it points back at him.
So the ones who see it look at each other and one kid with a lot less tact blurts out, “dude what’s wrong with your d*%k?”
Now everyone turns their attention towards this kid. The kid is like “what? My d*%k is normal, every ones d*%k looks like this.”
Everyone states that no in fact his is abnormal. The kid laughs it off and tells them to stop f**king with him. To which many of the boys whip their dicks out and show him that he’s wrong. So this kid starts tearing up in the locker room with the rest of the kids surrounding him with their d*%ks out presented in front of him.
He went home and had a long conversation with his family. Apparently bent/curly penises run in his family so he really had no idea that his was different.
4. A quick rundown.
My high school football team made fun of the dude who didn’t wear a bathing suit in the locker room shower.
My high school hockey team made fun of the dude who did.
I feel like that explains a lot about the people who play each sport.
3. Welp, I’m dead.
Not school but work.
Had a guy with a huge d*%k who would stand on top of the bench while drying off. Coworker was sitting next to him and when someone called out the naked guys name he turned around and smacked the guy sitting down in the face with his d*%k.
2. Never take a locker room challenge.
Nothing too wild but (American) football in high school was quite interesting. Kid chugged a gallon of milk prior to practice. Worst day to do it we had to run a lot that day. It didn’t take long for him to be in the bushes vomiting. Guys were being challenged to rub icy hot on their balls prior to practice. One guy accepted the challenge to rub it into his helmet. A lot of towel whips and occasionally someone would get a penis next to their face or a fart to the face if they were caught down on a knee at their locker.
And then there was shower ball. This is why I avoided showering until I got home. The guys would bring a bouncy ball into the shower room and you’d have to try and shower while avoiding a bouncy ball flying around. Some guys wouldn’t wash their undershirts or pants all season and then dare people to take a whiff.
I think maybe wildest story outside the locker room is one night we were kicking butt in a game. Our running back was taking an absolute beating had his jersey literally torn off but he scored like 3 touchdowns and ran a ton of yards. Come the next morning we were in for the game break down and a light practice and he walks into the locker room with no idea what happened that night.
We had to show him the paper because he didn’t remember anything after the first quarter. At some point he received a concussion and no one had a clue because he kept playing like he hadn’t even been touched.
1. Looking for some honesty.
Had a friend on the team walking around with a full hard on begging people to tell him what they thought. Finally got to me and I gave him the truthful rate. Good length bro, but it’s pretty skinny.
F**k!!! I knew it!!
He thanked me and walked off.
I, for one, am glad these people kept the unspoken code.
What’s your best story from your locker room days? We’d love to hear it in the comments!
