17 People Share the Talent They’re Super Proud of But Could Never Put on Their Resume

We all have those secret talents. The little things we’re good at, that make us feel good about ourselves or are fun to trot out at parties, but you know.

They’re not exactly going to land us that dream job or our next big promotion, you know?

These 17 people do, and they’re sharing those obscure but amazing talents with all of us.

17. No small feat.

I had a baby at 17, left home to give her a better future then my moms drunken, high life.

She turned 18 a few months ago, is going to university and graduated high school with honors.

She doesn’t smoke, or drink, or do drugs!! I did that changed my families legacy

16. This is actually a huge accomplishment.

Surviving five years of prison without a single incident report.

15. I do not want to see proof.

I can blow bubbles off the tip of my tongue using my own saliva.

14. That deserves a fist-bump.

I kicked a serious methamphetamine habit with willpower alone.

13. I mean wow.

Stopped a major international incident when I was in Iraq with the Army as a private.

Our unit was charged with security of a couple of towns, and went weekly to meet with the Mayor and the Iraqi Army. Usually it was attended by our Captain, with about 2 platoons worth of guys (about 20 people total). The Captain was out of country for his leave, but we’d had no problems with the meetings, so he sent a brand new Lieutenant to get some experience in dealing with the Iraqis.

At the meeting, the Mayor begins complaining because the citizens had protested him over the weekend for being corrupt (he was), and taking money that was meant for them (he was). He said he told the Iraqi Army Captain to shoot the protestors, but the Captain refused. Our Lieutenant, who almost certainly couldn’t understand our interpreter because of his very thick accent, just nodded his head and said he agreed with the Mayor. This was of course a huge insult to the Iraqi Army Captain, who turned incredibly red and began making furtive orders to his men, some of who began casually getting up and shifting their positions in the room. The Lieutenant was oblivious to everything, and had no clue what was going on.

I knew what was about to go down, so I got on the radio and ordered all of our SAW gunners (soldiers with machine guns) to get off the trucks and take up positions through the building immediately. I also ordered our guys who had been standing outside the meeting room to come in, and ordered the gunners in the trucks to be up and ready. The Iraqi Army Captain heard me on the radio, saw the guys come in, and stared at me. I just shook my head no, and he seemed to realize it wasn’t going to go down the way he wanted.

After the meeting wrapped, I snatched the interpreter, got 2 SAW gunners and a grenadier, and followed the Iraqi Army Captain to his office. I’d met with him several times before, so he knew me a little bit. I told him essentially that our Lieutenant was new, had no clue what he was doing, and that we were very grateful that he didn’t shoot citizens because they were protesting. He calmed down immediately and said he was sorry and just got mad that he had been insulted in front of the Mayor. I told him it was water under the bridge, but to never ever try that again. He said he wouldn’t, and that he was embarrassed he’d taken the actions he did. We drank some tea, shot the shit for a couple of minutes, and left. Every meeting after that went smoothly.

So yeah, we could have gotten into a shootout inside an Iraqi Army base, which would have killed one of their officers and a bunch of their men, plus the Mayor, as well as a whole bunch of our guys.

12. But it might save your life.

My experience as a black belt in Shito-Ryu. It’s a traditional Japanese style martial art.

In 2005, I was ranked 11th in the world in my age division, a three time National champion, a Junior Olympic champion, and invited to join the US International team (equivalent to the US Olympic team in other sports).

I’m an Electrical Engineer, so it doesn’t really apply to my resume and it was also fifteen years ago, but it’s my proudest accomplishment.

11. Depends on your family, I suppose.

Never been arrested.

I come from a family of cons, so it’s not a small thing. And for the most part, I have little interest in drugs. Tried shrooms a few times for my migraines and I love an occasional beer, but the addiction gene may have skipped me.

10. Way to advocate for yourself, dear.

At the age of 15, two years ago, I was denied approval on a Single Case Agreement for mental health treatment coverage by my insurance, and wrote a letter of appeal entirely by myself, which I then mailed with my parents help.

Shortly after, they overturned their decision and approved 100% coverage for my treatment, and told me that my letter was the primary reason they changed their minds.

9. Money makes the world go ’round.

Writing prize-winning tentacle porn, two years running. “Proud” might not be the best descriptor, but I stand by it, all the same. Man, time flies…

8. The world could use more of that.

I pick up a lot of trash and i’m pretty good at convincing others to help me.

7. Bless a good heart.

Bone marrow donation

6. I think that’s resume worthy.

Not trash, but my grandfather had a cabin on Lake Michigan.

Every time my father and his family went up, they started the evening picking sticks up off the beach, so frequently that my father would get excited to do it.

How did my grandfather convince his son this was meaningful work? But calling the job-title “collecting debris.”

Added a whole new twist on picking up sticks.

5. Life is worth it.

I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation 4 years ago and had to basically start my life over due to choices before then.

I just got pre approved for a mortgage today.

4. The internet is proud of you.

I overcame a 5 year long drug addiction no one knew I had.

3. No way to tweak that.

Had an accountant’s resume which highlighted his experience as a professional clown.

Tried to help him by changing the title but nope.

2. That’s impressive, though!

6km swim without a break.

1. Yeah you can’t brag about that in an interview.

I once made a three stage glass bong with percolators and a cooling chamber out of glass. I used 99 peaches bottles that I cut by scoring with a glass drill bit and dunked in boiling water then ice cold water to get a clean break and sever the bottom to stack them.

The stem was a glass tube/funnel combination courtesy of the chem lab. I Epoxy’d it together and it truly was an engineering marvel.

I can put both feet behind my head, and I can almost always predict what marriages are going to last.

What’s your talent that you just couldn’t share with potential employers? Tell us in the comments!