17 People Talk About Why They’re Not In A Relationship

Most of us will spend our lives both single and in relationships – maybe we’ll live one way for longer than the other, but chances are we’ll get to experience both. We know, then, how we prefer to live, and with enough introspection we can even figure out why.

These 17 single people are looking deep within themselves and sharing why it is they think they’re currently unattached.

17. They’re as*xual.

Because I’ve never felt any romantic attraction to anyone.

I almost entirely lack a libido on top of it and have zero ability to feel s*xual pleasure.

It gets lonely but it doesn’t even make sense for me to attempt a relationship.

16. I hope this was a joke.

My doctor told me I was fat. I asked for a second opinion.

He told me I was ugly too.

15. They have different priorities.

Taking time to improve yourself is more important than being in a relationship.

14. It’s a choice.

Because I want to.

It’s more peaceful.

Same, the comments have got me feeling kind of guilty that I’m single by choice. My life and time are my own, I love it.

13. It’s all exhausting.

Dating apps are atrocious, and I genuinely don’t know where to go to meet people.

While subscribe to the notion of don’t “be a shitty human being”, I hear so many women complaining on Facebook that they’re tired of guys hitting on them at work or complimenting their appearance that I just wouldn’t even know what to say.

So when there is someone ot there I’d like to get too know, it doesn’t get much further than small talk.

12. They’re happy the way things are.

It’s so peaceful. I’m open to the idea of being with someone, but it’ll have to be better than this peace. And I don’t see myself finding someone like that.

All the other times I’ve been in relationships have been so stressful.

11. Dating kills their self esteem.

I never really flirt with women because I know they deal with so much unwanted attention and harassment on a daily basis that I don’t ever want to be a contributor to that. And dating apps are garbage.

I haven’t used them in years, but when I did my self esteem was probably at its lowest point. Just a ton of ghosting and ignored messages

10. They’re not defective.

1.) I haven’t found anyone I’d want to be in a relationship with that would make me happier than simply being single.

2.) I don’t like the social stigma of single men, like I’m defective or delinquent for being single. Makes me want to stay single forever.

9. Relationships seem overhyped.

I think dating is a bit overrated. There is so much pressure around dating, because most people grew up thinking that meeting the right person would magically fix all their problems and make them happily ever after. So people get paired up and married with unhealthy, colossal expectations and many of those marriages inevitably turn sour after the highs fade away.

I just think that community and friendship have more reasonable norms and expectations than dating, and they are easier and healthier parts of life to focus on and feel fulfilled by. In the long run, if I were to get together with a longterm partner, it would most likely need to be someone who shares these views.

8. It’s not worth the effort.

Actively dating takes a lot of effort and time that I prefer putting into my interests and work. I’m totally up for meeting someone and spending time with them, but it’s not a priority for me, so I’m not actively looking to change my relationship status

That stigma exists for both s*xes (I’m a woman) and it drives me mad. No, I don’t need someone to “complete me”. Would I like to share memories with someone? Yeah sure. Do I feel like I’m missing out by not having a partner? No.

7. People don’t partner by default.

Because they haven’t found the right person yet. People don’t just have a partner by default.

It takes a considerable amount of effort, the right circumstances and often an extreme amount of luck to find someone compatible enough to enter into a relationship with. If you listen to couple’s stories about how they met, it’s often in the craziest and most unlikely circumstances. And even then, there’s no guarantee it will last – and if it doesn’t, well, looks like it’s back to square one.

I dunno man, I had an ex girlfriend who literally went from waking up in the morning and just sitting in her bed and crying with so much happiness because she was so convinced I was her soulmate, to complete indifference almost literally overnight, with no desire to work through it or even explore why. Life is pretty weird sometimes.

6. They like to keep it casual.

I just want to find someone thats cool with hanging out like once a week. Like a super casual relationship. I spend a lot of time working so its hard to come home and spend every night with someone.

Id be absolutely exhausted but i still want someone to cuddle with and watch tv every once in a while.

5. It’s different for everyone.

Some people had someone they loved and lost them.

Some people aren’t looking right now.

Some people gave up.

Some people need to heal themselves first.

Some people just don’t go out much.

Some people throw their energies into their career, hobbies, children, travel, whatever.

Some people don’t stay in one place long enough to form bonds.

Some people just prefer their own company.

There can be heaps of reasons.

4. Only if their actual life depended on it.

Because me getting a relationship is a doomsday condition.

3. They’re worried about their s*xuality.

I might be as*xual and I don’t know how to bring that up and I don’t know if anyone would be interested in dating me after knowing that.

2. Social situations are hard.

I don’t socialize and branch out to talk to people. Also no one approaches me.

How do people who like staying at home and are not into apps find each other? Until knocking on people’s doors to flirt becomes normalized I don’t know what to do.

1. They’re traumatized.

Because I had a meltdown due to an undiagnosed personality disorder, and I lost the love of my life.

Spent a year trying to patch things up, worked on myself, went to therapy, got healthier and better, and when I finally tried to talk to them about everything that had happened, they wouldn’t give me the time of day.

It’s been such a long time and I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully recover.

Enjoy being single. Enjoy being with someone. Love yourself, people!

If you’re single and want to share why, we’d love to hear your reasons in the comments?