Let’s face it: humans can get on each other’s nerves! From annoying each other to starting wars, to simply being rude, it’s no wonder that some people are tired of people.
One Reddit thread asked humans how they would betray their fellow species. The idea is that they’d give aliens a tip that would bring us DOWN. The answers got a bit creative and interesting.
20. Just Keep The Internet
“Do not take down the internet.
Every movie goes about how you have get rid of the source of communication and knowledge first. But that’s not the way to go about it. Taking down the internet is the quickest way to get all of humanity riled up and ready to kill something.
As long as the internet is working most people will just be distracted and not take anything seriously.”
19. Give Them Carbs!
“People really should internalize this simple truth: “Bread and circuses” is forever.
Simple carbs, basic entertainment. Except now carbs are the cheapest they have even been and entertainment is the most personalized and abundant it’s ever been. Give people $1 double cheeseburgers and endless thematic serial shows, and you can do anything you want.”
18. Divide and Conquer
“Convince each world leader that you’ll give them all the alien secrets and technology once their nation controls the whole planet.”
17. Shapeshift Into Cats!
“Appear to us in a really cute, fluffy, and small form.
Purr a lot, if you can.”
16. Ask This Question
“Ask a Scottish man where he got that dress.”
15. Anything at Light Speed
“Just ram the planet with a empty ship going at light speed, we ain’t got the defenses to handle that sh*t.”
14. Make A More Potent Virus
“Clearly we aren’t great at social distancing.
Make a more efficient virus and wait a year.”
13. Hide This Coveted Item
“Steal all toilet paper.”
12. Ask For Just One Representative
“Send a message to the planet asking to speak to ONE representative, and watch each country go to conflict to be the one who sends the representative.”
11. Sit Back and Do Nothing
“Sit back and relax this shouldn’t take long.”
10. Impersonate God
“Appear to world leaders and top army staff pretending to be God and convince them to start a nuclear war.
I’m pretty sure that an advanced alien civilization could fake a pretty good God.
On top of that, who wouldn’t obey a command from something they genuinely believe to be God?”
9. Get Rid of Wifi
“Turn off their wifi.”
8. Make Up a Meme
“As a wise man once said “Memes have been introduced by aliens to halt the progression of the human race” so aliens have an easier time invading in the future.”
7. Make The Invasion a Partisan Issue
“Despite having ample opportunities to learn from their history, human beings will willingly divide into mutually hostile tribes based on race, sex, and class.
So if you frame your invasion as a partisan issue, you can depend on a sizable chunk of humanity to actually help you achieve your goals.
That is, until they’re the only ones left.”
6. Take This Draconian Step
“Take porn off the internet.”
5. Give Alcohol Away—With a Catch
Announce free booze day…
Then Release millions of hungry lions.”
4. Give Them… Sunflower Seeds?
“Giving sunflower seeds to everyone will keep them busy long enough to destroy the earth.”
3. Hit Them Where It Hurts
“Turn off any electricity.”
2. Remove Food From The Equation
“Take all the food and let the humans kill themselves.”
1. Just Ask Around!
“If you need ideas, you can just ask Reddit…oh wait…”
Hopefully, it won’t ever come to any of these scenarios, but if things seem fishy you’ll at least know who gave the aliens these ideas! Which of these ideas did you like best?
For the sake of humor, what would you tell aliens is humanity’s biggest weakness?
Comment away in good fun!