21 Mortified Souls Reveal the Most Insane Rumors They Heard About Themselves

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Ever heard a crazy rumor, and you just knew right away that it wasn’t true?

Ever heard a crazy rumor and knew it wasn’t true, because it was about YOU?

That’s what these 21 stories are all about:

#1. Ribbit!

I went to the nurses office in 4th grade for a sore throat and my best friend convinced my class I swallowed a frog.

#2. Hot Cheeto

I had a major operation on my right eye, (detached retina) in 8th grade. I was out for almost 2 months recovering. Someone decided to tell a bunch of fellow students that I got a hot cheeto stuck in the back of my eye. I didn’t even know how to respond to all those Myspace messages.

#3. Foreshadowing

I changed high schools after my sophomore year. When I took the SATs, I ran into a girl from the first school. She said she was surprised to see me because everyone thought I turned into a heroin addict and dropped off the face of the earth.

It wasn’t true.

About five years later, I ended up getting strung out–on heroin.

I always wonder what people saw in me that, at the time, I didn’t see in myself.

I’m good now. Clean for almost six years, and life is much better than it’s ever been.

#4. Secret Lovers

I joined my wife’s workplace about 12 months after she joined. When we worked together (same department, same roles), we’d keep mostly away from each other so not to crowd each other. When we’d take breaks, we’d be hanging out together. You know, normal stuff.

Thing is, no one picked up on the fact that we were husband and wife. They knew she was married, and that I was married – but not to each other.

Someone saw us holding hands on the walk back to our car after work, someone else saw us kiss when I dropped her in to work when I had the day off, and rumours started flying around that we were cheating on our significant others.

People took it upon themselves to ‘intervene’ and approached me to tell me she was married and that I should be ashamed of myself. Someone else made a comment to her that she should be more discreet if she was going to continue on her relationship with me.

Truth be told, we both found it pretty fucking funny. Didn’t get a chance to run with it, because we were so taken aback by it when it was brought up to us individually, that we just blurted out the truth on the spot.

TL;DR – My wife and I were rumoured to be having a workplace affair with each other.

#5. The Undertaker

I used to work in a school, and there was a rumour that went around that over the summer, I left to go and fight The Undertaker.

Never put those kids right on that one.

Fun fact: I actually did go to middle school with The Undertaker’s nephew.

#6. Monk-y Business

I missed my 5th HS reunion because I was in India for a few weeks visiting my mother. By the 10th HSR, the rumor had spread that I was a Hindu monk living in a grass hut, wearing a loin cloth.

#7. “Don’t break the circle!”

That I was the leader of a satanic coven (yes, really…).

One of my friends lost someone close to her, and a bunch of us were trying to comfort her, while sitting in a circle, holding hands…

#8. What’s the Russ?

That I wanted to learn Russian because I’ve got a stepsister in Russia which my father abandoned when she was a kid lol. I just really love the language, what’s the fuss about comrades?

#9. DOA

One day in 10th grade I was late to school because I had a doctors appointment.

When I came in a friendly acquaintance was shocked to see me and a little teary too. Which is an odd reaction.

Someone (another friendly acquaintance who was prone to acts of the dramatic) decided that my being late could only mean that I had died horrifically in a car accident. She was on friendly enough terms with me that some people bought it.

Exciting times. And not the last time she decided someone had died.

#10. “I forgot to mention…”

When I was 17 I had a seizure at work, which was a Saturday job in a small town pharmacy. It was nearly the end of the day and there weren’t enough other staff members for the shop to legally be open, so they shooed out the few customers and closed early. The following Saturday it felt like every other customer was telling me about ‘that poor girl who died here last week’, with one little old lady swearing up and down that she’d watched the paramedics wheel out the corpse. She was very disappointed when I told her that I was still very much alive, and that the paramedics didn’t even get called. The pharmacist was like ‘oh yeah, I forgot to mention that people thought you died’ – thanks for the heads up!

#11. Massive

I have absolutely no idea how it started, but once a guy I kinda knew here in university told me that he had heard someone saying there was a rumor I had a massive penis, and that he wanted me to know about the rumor. Considering I was a virgin at the time I have no idea why anyone would say that.

#12. Nothing

What apparently happened: I had become pregnant by another student and taken a few months off school to give birth and start to raise the child.

What actually happened: NOTHING!!! I was 13!!! The “father” and I first met when he came to ask me why i was telling people we’d had a kid!!!! THAT was how I found out!!! Worst thing was I hadn’t had a single day off school and when I traced the rumour to someone I had thought was a friend they denied ever saying anything about it (despite seven separate witnesses all identifying them as the person who told them).

#13. Gotta be meth…

I have a side of the family we do not associate with because they’re genuinely just not good people. I spent lots of time in the gym stayed trimmed and muscular. All the while my estranged aunts and grandmother were telling anyone who would listen that I was on crystal meth.

Granted anyone who saw me in person would dismiss it immediately. It was still frustrating to explain.

#14. Twenty

That I was actually 20 when I was a senior in high school because I was so smart. Their reasoning was, I failed twice so that’s why I knew all the answers. Made no sense to me, they really got confused when I took out my ID and showed them I was actually 16 and skipped two grades. Teenagers are dumb.

#15. “Sexual Confusion”

I came out of the closet when I was a sophomore in high school. As you may have guessed, I came out because I was gay.

My fellow high schoolers decided that the real reason I came out was because I was actually the straightest of them all, and wanted to use my “sexual confusion” to trick girls into sleeping with me.

#16. Magic Napkin

My sister got married 3 years ago and since “they are still friends” my sister invited my ex to her wedding. I found out a few months ago that during the wedding reception someone spit out a chuck of chewed and discarded food into a napkin and that napkin somehow found its way onto my ex’s chair. He believes it was me that did this and I have no idea how many mutual friends he has told his theory to. I apparently did this from 20 feet away and in front of my husband, his parents, and my entire family.

#17. Same Name

That I was dating the choir teacher in high school because I had a boyfriend who didn’t go to the same school who had the same first name. Apparently this was even a rumor among the teachers.

#18. Reaching Out

I decided to change schools a few weeks into 10th Grade because of some social reasons. I went from a school that had a very good reputation for the education standards as well as being a block away from my house, to a school where i was friends with most of the year level because of my youth movement i was a part of.

About 4 months after i moved i received a call from one of the 3 people at the first school that spoke to me and asked if i was still in hospital. Turns out one of the guys in my year convinced everyone I had gotten into a horrific car accident and was in super intensive therapy to learn to walk and talk again, and that i had reached out to him to help me get through the tough times.

Kids say the darndest things.

#19. Heavy

When I was younger I began to hear rumors that I was into heavy drugs. I lived in a small town only 900 people so rumors spread fast, and before I knew I had older guys coming up to me and ask if I could get them speed or coke. I didn’t really know what to do so I just told them I was fresh out… I was like 12 or 11 years old.

#20. Halfway

Someone I used to work with said I was gay to everyone behind my back. I’m not gay.

I am however bisexual, so I guess she was 50% right.

#21. Va-gone-a

In 8th grade I needed emergency surgery to remove one of my ovaries. I was out of school for a while and by the time I’d come back, people were offering their condolences that I had my “vagina removed”


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