17. Ooookay
Once a guy told me that slavery wasn’t the worst part of US history. According to him, the darkest chapter in the history of our country is the invention of electricity. Oooookay.
18. Ignorance is bliss
“You can’t be French if you’re Black. You must be from Africa. Where are your parents from?”
“France.”
“Grandparents?”
“I don’t know much about them but I assume France.”
“Speak French.”
“Petit con tu vis sous une pierre?”
“Whatever you say, Africa.”
“You realize there are Black people everywhere other than America and Africa right?”
“Haha you’re funny.”
19. God’s plan
When my brother died someone said, “God has a plan for us all. He’s in a better place now.” The best place for a 15-year-old boy is to be alive.
20. Smile
“You have a roof over your head, you get to eat every day. You have no reason to be depressed.” I wasn’t even depressed. Im just a quiet kid who doesn’t smile much.
21. OG
Please note: I am a Christian, so I don’t think she’s stupid for reading a Bible in general, but…
A girl I went to college with told us she prefers the King James Version because “it’s the only real version of the Bible, since it’s the first one written.” Guess she had never heard of Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic.
22. No words
Many, many years ago I waited tables in a restaurant that was inside a posh department store. Once a week or so, a woman would bring in her wheelchair-bound sister who appeared to have cerebral palsy or some similar illness. They both seemed to be very nice people, always tipped well, and frankly, it seemed like they both needed this time together to get out of the house.
One day while they were there, one of the waitresses I work with complained to me: “They shouldn’t let people like that [referring to the wheelchair bound woman] into public places. No one wants to look at that.”
What a jerk! So sorry she inconvenienced you by having the audacity to exist!
23. How does one learn to speak Mexican?
“All Latin Americans are Mexicans.” Oh, and apparently we all speak “Mexican,” a language that came from Spanish.
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