Sometimes the human race is astonishing. And not the good kind of astonishing. The kind that makes you want to punch someone in the face for being so ridiculous.
Take a look at these 25 Reddit users who share a glimpse into their world – and into some severely facepalm-worthy conversations.
1. Should have walked
I went on a date with a girl in college. She was very kind but I could tell from the start she was quite a bit more affluent than I was. So she drives us to a coffee shop and pulls right into a handicap spot. When I notify her of her mistake she says, “Oh I know. Princess parking!” And she pulls out a handicap sticker from her purse and hangs it on her mirror. Personally I wanted to end the date right there, but I had to get a ride home somehow.
2. Yeah, no.
There used to be a homeless man that would sleep outside of the pizza place I used to work at. Never bothered anyone, never asked for food, though we did offer him some when we had leftover pies. Middle of winter, he stopped coming around. Couple weeks later, coworker tells me him and his friends dumped water on him while he was sleeping for laughs, thinking I would think it was funny. Yeah, no.
3. Asshat
My boss charged a colleague for a table’s bill because that table had left without paying and were seated in her section, thus being her responsibility. The bill was 75 pounds. We’re payed 6.95 an hour. This was on Christmas day.
4. Not your friend
When our 26-day-old daughter died my wife and I hunkered down and quit showing up to church for a while. A friend from there finally touched base with me months later, and I asked him why no one had come looking for us or tried to help after the funeral. He said, “I’ve know people who have had miscarriages before, and it didn’t take this long to get over it. When are you going to get over it?” This conversation was almost 6 years ago and my blood still boils when I think about these words.
5. Happens all too often
Seeing my employer act friendly to other employee’s faces and then immediately trash talk them the second they leave the room.
6. Abandoned
My uncle told us that when he decided he didn’t want his cat anymore, he took her to the woods behind my grandparents’ house and just left her there. I was appalled. Definitely lost all respect for him. She was an indoor cat who’d never even been outside before.
(Fear not, though, my other uncle was there, and he went to those woods, eventually located the cat and brought her home with him. They were buddies until he passed, and then she went to live with another family member. So she’s fine! But still.)
7. Not enough time
One sentence: “I can’t believe he’s not over his dad’s death yet!”
The kid’s dad had died barely two months ago at the time.
8. Instant knowledge
Making fun of someone for not knowing something/how to do something
Once a couple of kids from a group were making fun of a man for asking questions about how to use the computer Nobody is born with instant knowledge about everything.
9. Negative reviews
My manager doing what I just told a customer we can’t do because of policy.
As in:
“I want to return this gift card, it doesn’t work.”
“We can’t do that, we do not do returns on gift cards because we can not verify the balance. If there is an issue with the gift card you need to contact Visa and have them solve the issue.”
My computer system is even set up so that if you try to return it like you are supposed to, it’ll tell you to back off. Customer asks for manager and manager just gives her the value of card plus the fee by returning it as a “Non-taxable Item.”
The reason it’s policy is because it’s a scam and they want to double dip. They used the card and they want to see if they can get the cash they just spent back again.
And of course the customer came back two more times and asked to return the card again and again. In total she got $615 because my manager is so scared of getting negative reviews.
10. I’ll stop
Ex Girlfriend ” I don’t love you anymore, I don’t know why and I don’t want to feel this way and We’ll work on getting things back to normal……. Ohh I’ve been seeing Insert Douches name from work as well but I’ll stop”
11. No respect
Little bit of backstory. I once had a friend , whom I considered a good friend, randomly message my then girlfriend asking if we were still together. I thought he was just checking up on me, making sure it was a good relationship because when she said yes, he said good. Fast forward now, about 2 weeks after we break up, he messages her again, saying the same thing. Proceeds to try to console her and literally that night tries to flirt with her and sends her a dick pic. Does this many many times for the next few months ( her not reciprocating or showing any interest) not knowing that she and I were still very close and she was telling me everything. He also had a girlfriend at the time that he was trying to convince my ex that they broke up. I’ve lost all respect and I’ll never give it back. A simple apology and talk could reconcile our friendship but he’ll never be respected by me ever again.
12. Gofundthis
A couple people I know have done this lately: made a GoFundMe for some trivial crap. I’m not going to give details on the specific fundraisers just in case but take my word for it: it’s the most poorly disguised, pathetic attempt to beg for money I’ve ever seen from someone who absolutely doesn’t need it.
13. Brains but no heart
When I was an RA I had a resident who got really drunk and started spouting off a lot of homophobic stuff in the middle of the hall, making another resident cry. Later on another resident whom I had a lot of respect for, class president, triple major, pretty much came from nothing, came up talking to me telling me I shouldn’t write the drunk person up because she was just spouting off the truth about “Them.” Never looked at her the same way again.
14. Waste of air
“Aww she’s so beautiful i feel bad for her, what a waste of beauty”
I’m on a wheelchair.
I feel bad for you for begin ugly but able to walk, what a waste of legs.
15. Grown ass tantrum
My RA freshman year of college: she had just lost a board game and threw a fit. At first I thought she was joking, but soon realized she was completely serious. A 20-year old having a tantrum over Ticket to Ride. In front of her friends and residents. Thinking it made her seem “scary” rather than juvenile. Never could respect her after that.
16. Whats wrong with people?
I took my son to work with me, while I was on holiday, to pick up a pay cheque. I met our shipper and introduced my son who has a slight speech impediment. My son said “Hello” and stammered on the ‘H’. The shipper started to laugh at him. I took my son’s hand and we walked away. Didn’t speak to the shipper again.
17. Thief and a douche
Male coworker walked past a female coworker and said “i’d love to fondle her huge tits” loud enough for her to hear it. respect went from 100% to 1% in a second.
Found out, same guy was stealing other colleague’s personal stuff at work. There you go, last 1% of respect.
Sidemark: When I talked to our boss, she said: That’s your personal problem. Work it out. Bam: 100% respect-loss in under a second.
18. So dirty
I was out with a guy, we stopped at Taco Bell and were walking with a couple of tacos. He finished his first one and let the wrapper flutter to the ground. I’m typically non-confrontational but kind of knee-jerked a shocked reaction. He blew it off and I thought maybe he was just embarrassed. But after the next taco, he doubled down and dropped that wrapper too. Lost all respect for him in that moment.
Another time I was walking with some co-workers when one flicked a cigarette butt onto the sidewalk. Someone else said something and her response was, “but it’s so small and New York is so dirty anyway.” Ugh, go home.
19. Shopping Spree
Ex-girlfriend found someone’s ATM card left in the machine. Promptly went on a shopping spree. I was so furious. People like her are the reason I have a panic attack when I can’t find my wallet. Just a straight up scummy thing to do.
20. Not my job
Supervisor kept giving me additional work that wasn’t my responsibility (I was less than two weeks into a new job in a warehouse) and eventually another supervisor asked what I was doing, so I told them, and they cussed the other supervisor out for putting myself and other people in danger when I had not been trained how to offload trucks and navigate the docks. Ever since then, when this first supervisor tells me to do work, I ask someone else first.
21. Back off
Dude squeezed my then-girlfriend’s breast right in front of me then tried to laugh it off because he’s gay and “would rather play with this guy’s big dong” (referring to a random guy standing within earshot).
I still can’t believe I had to explain to this guy that being gay doesn’t entitle you to touch other people’s bodies without permission. I don’t go around grabbing men’s penises and saying “it’s okay, I’m straight”, then harass some stranger to try and prove it.
22. Stupid
My mother’s best friend from when I was growing up added me to Facebook one time as a way to reconnect after she’d disappeared to France for several years. I stayed friends with her on there for a while. Until…
She posted something anti-vaccine, so I posted a response based on the facts – That vaccines don’t cause autism, and are actually bringing deadly diseases back, etc. and so on. I don’t mean to start fights, but I do this on occasion with my other friends on there so we can have reasonable discussions back and forth about it. Her response began with “As a mother…” and ended on “You’ll understand when you have kids.” Wow. Wooooow.
I’ve never unfriended someone so fast in my life. I just couldn’t rid myself of the stupid quickly enough.
23. That escalated quickly
A college girl I worked with at a restaurant on campus bragged about how she told off a manager who politely asked her to order or leave at a restaurant downtown where she was studying and not buying anything. She told him that the whole town is her library and the only reason he had a job was because of students like her (college town), and that she was going to college to do something meaningful with her life and make a difference so she wouldn’t end up a sad restaurant manager like himself.
I was so stunned I couldn’t say anything. I have never heard anything more bratty and self-entitled in my life.
24. Just say what you mean
Any conversation which goes like this:
Them (someone from outside the UK): “Where are you from?”
Me (I’m brown): “UK”
“Ok but where are you originally from?”
“… London?”
“I mean, where did your parents come from?”
“Also England, born and raised.”
“…”
“If you’re asking for my ethnicity, I have distant roots in Asia. But that isn’t really what you asked for.”
“Yeah, you didn’t look British, I knew you must be from Asia.”
“… I’m not. I’m from the UK.”
It’s 2017 yet some people still can’t accept the concept of being fully British, whilst not being white.
25. Emma
When I was in 6th grade, there was a girl who we’ll call Emma in my class who was a little odd. She was painfully shy and awkward, her clothes were too small for her, and she smelled kind of bad. A less-known fact and possibly irrelevant other than to explain some of her strangeness was that she had been sexually abused for years by a family member. I was best friends with her cousin, who told me in confidence, because I was nice to Emma; my friend was not a gossip and was protective as fuck of her cousin. Emma usually ate lunch in the classroom and would opt to spend recesses in study hall, presumably either because she felt more comfortable away from people or to avoid being bullied, possibly both. One day we had recess in the gym (pretty common when it was freezing or raining out) and Emma is there. (Some days study hall wasn’t available because a teacher was sick or whatever, I don’t know). She’s sitting on the bleachers drawing and a couple of other kids are hanging around on the bleachers as well. One boy in particular, a popular kid well-liked by students and teachers, is talking to her. I saw this and something about the way Emma looked made me stop playing dodgeball and walk over. As I approached I hear the boy calling her “trailer trash” and asking if her trailer home had a shower. He was laughing and a couple others nearby were laughing too, some of whom I’d considered friends before. Lost all respect for every one of them. Emma wasn’t crying or anything, just ignored them and kept drawing. Unfortunately I let my emotions get the better of me. Punched him right in the face.
