Couples are weird. Not only was that my working title for this article, but it’s also an objective truth. After living with another person for enough time – especially with a person you get all up on in a romantic sort of way – certain habits start to develop. Weird habits. Things you’d never do with anyone else, and that you’d prefer no one know about. After all, you live together, and you’ve got to keep things interesting and fun – and weird is definitely fun. If you don’t believe me, just check out these AskReddit users’ answers to the question: “What things do you do with your S.O. that you’d never want another person to witness?”
#1. Wut?!
My girlfriend likes to play koala, where I lay on my stomach and she wraps herself around me and yells koala once she feels she is securely locked on. Then I try to break free.
#2. What’s with all this sitting on each other?
My SO has me sit on top of him topless and let my breasts dangle over his face. He pulls them over his eyes and says “boobie goggles.” Sometimes I’ll move one out of the way and it becomes a boobie monocle. I don’t know how this started.
#3. Butt wait… there’s more!
When my boyfriend and I shower together, we do a ritual butt-dance. We rub our butts together in an up and down and then side to side fashion and exclaim we’re married.
#4. Well, that’s not bad.
When I get pretend-mad and we’re naked, I climb on top of him and swing my boobs back and forth so they hit his face. We call it… Boob-ing.
#5. Somebody had to fuck a drunk Mitt Romney?! Ewwww
On the day of the election me and my gf wore Romney and Obama masks respectively, the person wearing the loser of the election had to keep the mask on during sex. Also had to down 6 beers.
#6. Spicy!
An ex-boyfriend and I once ate chips and salsa off each other’s privates. We called it a “Screaming Tortilla.” We were ragingly drunk, and the risk of accidentally biting was both hilarious and sexy.
#7. Double wut?
Sometimes when I leave the bedroom after sex, he’ll steal a pair of my underwear, hide them somewhere, and when accused will say “but it’s my friend.”
#8. Ack!
I have one nose hair that grows to mutant length, like it starts far far back in my nose and by the time it grows to the point I can pull it, it is longer and thicker than my eyebrow hair.
So naturally when I pull this sucker out, I proceed to try and stick it back up my SO’s nose.
#9. Meow
Sometimes when me and my girlfriend are in the car driving somewhere, we’ll harmonize and sing songs together. Sounds normal right?
The strange part is we do it all in meows, like a cat. Same rhythm and melody, just meows and reers in replace of the lyrics.
Its so stupid and embarrassing, but I love every minute of it.
She’s the only person who allows me to do embarrassing or stupid, or immature things with no reserve. Her presence makes the silly things seem right, and that type of enabling is pure love and acceptance to me. I think thats what all of these posts here are about. Couples taking part in mutual absurdity just because you love each other so much, its not really absurd or restricted anymore, its just another way of enjoying each other.
#10. Wookie
My fiancé and I will randomly look at each other lovingly and make wookie sounds. We call it our mating call. Also his penis’s name is Sargent pepper and his balls are the lonely hearts club band.
