30 People Discuss What Harmful Things They Think Are Being Taught to Children

Parents of every generation have unique challenges.

Times change and moms and dads must adapt to the day and age the best way they can.

This also means that there are a lot of people out there who believe that today’s parents are not raising their kids the right way and are teaching them things that are harmful.

Let’s take a look at what folks on AskReddit had to say about this.

1. They don’t even need to be in the conversation.

“Political views, at ages that children are really too young to understand them. They just spout off their parents thoughts.

The worst part is they repeat them and hear the same political views so much that they internalize it. when they are older enough to question it, they then have an identity crisis because the things their parents said don’t make sense when examined a little further.

So like anyone else when your views come under scrutiny, you dig a deeper trench, and pretty much develop an unspoken pledge of loyalty to your political party.”

2. Life IS NOT fair.

“The lie that life is fair and things happen for benevolent, valid reasons.

Then we let them get burned and figure it out themselves.”

3. Own it.

“Not owning up to their mistakes or blaming them on others.

Apologize to your kids when you f**k up.

When my 5 year old has a rough behavior day I’ll ask if she wants to start over and we pretend to go to sleep and “wake up.”

We ask how each other slept, and pretend like whatever argument we were having just never existed. If it’s towards the end of the day, I’ll say “It’s OK sweetheart, we can try again tomorrow.”

About a year ago I was having a terrible day. Work was awful, dinner didn’t come out right, and she was being just so….4!! I would grouse at her to get off me, put the crayons away, stop making that noise, the couch is not a jungle gym! Guh!!

When it came time for bed I laid her down and said “I’m sorry. I was being snippy with you today and you didn’t do anything wrong.”

She reached up to hug me and said “It’s OK Mama, we can try again tomorrow.”

That’s when I suddenly realized I was doing OK with the whole teaching-empathy thing.”

4. Gotta lose some.

“That everybody is a winner.

No. Losing and disappointments are part of life and they are integral to your growth both emotionally and socially.

We have a lot of people who enter the real world who have been told they are deserving of things just because and cannot take rejections and losses in their personal and professional lives with any grace whatsoever.

This is also resulting in mediocrity being accepted as a norm cos nobody wants to call out ineptitude. While the hard work and dedication being put in by people who do end up in good positions are being played down. It’s a little harsh but it’s true.

Kids gotta learn how to lose before they can truly start to win. That’s the only way being gracious in victory will ever come about.”

5. You gotta speak up sometimes.

“No “tattle tails” or “snitching”

How many kids are a**sed or bullied and won’t come forward because of this?”

6. Trades are important.

“This is more at a high school level, but that trade schools or learning a trade is a lessor option compared to a standard college degree.

Trade schools and learning a skilled trade need just as much emphasis as a college degree.

Along those same lines, collage (or trade school) show be treated as a busy investment. Time should be taken for kids/teens to examine how long it will take to repay their schooling and if that degree is worth the money.

Especially now with previous generation living longer and staying in the job market longer. Combined with more and more people graduating with degrees, there is more supply and the demand is not growing evenly in all areas of expertise.”

7. Roll of the dice.

“Good will win, evil will be punished.

There is no karma.

Some people will do all sorts of s**tty stuff, and be successful and happy.

Other people will do good, and will end up with cancer.”

8. Doesn’t really work that way.

“That you can be anything you want in life.

Sorry but this just isn’t correct. Poor Eddie who can’t grasp basic division isn’t going to be an astronaut.”

9. Maybe don’t eat as much?

“It seems like forcing kids to eat everything off their plate is pretty harmful, it doesn’t matter if they’re full, they have to clean off their plate and they can’t leave the table until they do.”

10. Scare tactics.

“That the world outside your house is a scary and dangerous place.

In the United States, it is largely not. Let them explore without fear.”

11. Sure, they do.

“Boys don’t cry.

Let the d**n boys cry.”

12. You get back up again.

“That failure is bad.

Failing should not be considered as an obstacle but a step in the learning process. Demonizing the failure and stigma associated with it makes many children lose their interest once they fail.”

13. I said so.

“My mom would often punish me for something, and whenever I asked why or what I did I was told “I’m the adult and you are the child” or “because I said so” or “you shouldn’t need a reason”.”

14. This is good.

“The issue is that kids are told what’s important, not how to evaluate what’s important.

Are grades important? Sure, but why do they care? You don’t need a 4.0 from a crippling pricey college to get a good job that will allow you to live the lifestyle you want.

Is money important? Sure, but what so you need money for? You don’t need to work yourself to death to save for retirement and live a lifestyle that makes you happy.

Are friends important? Sure, but you don’t need to be a social butterfly with huge parties every weekend. If you’ve got a few people you like to spend time with, don’t worry about it.

Are material things important? Yeah, at a certain point, you do need some stuff to lead the lifestyle you want. But you don’t need the nicest car, newest phone, most exclusive clothes, or the best-decorated apartment.

The key is decide what life you want to live, and wrap your choices around it unapologetically, and that’s a tricky thing to figure out, and it has to be personal. No one can make that decision for you, even if they can give you valuable advice on how to get there.”

15. Not a great idea.

“Teaching kids not to question things just because someone is older, or allegedly wiser, is one of the most frustrating things that I see on a daily basis.

How is a child supposed to ever develop any individual and nuanced ideas if they can’t think for themselves.”

16. It’s okay to be wrong.

“Being wrong is bad.

That’s why many people don’t change their mind when they were given trustable sources, they don’t want to be wrong.”

17. It isn’t weird.

“Being discouraged to speak up about illness’s because it makes them weird/ somethings wrong with them.

They talk about, You need therapy, which isnt a bad concept and you probably do need it, but they picture it in such a bad light.”

18. This. Right here.

“Basically all those s**t social media influencers that teach young people that it’s all about money and brand names.”

19. Truth!

“Ignore bullies and they’ll leave you alone.”

When you do that, one of two things are likely to happen. Either they’ll mess with you more, or they’ll move to someone else and bully them.

If you stand up to bullies, they back down. The earlier in life you put these people in their place, the less likely they’ll develop their bad behavior as a lifelong practice.”

20. Don’t do that.

“If he’s mean to you he likes you”

It just teaches little girls (mostly girls) to expect violence from people who love them.”

21. Starting them young.

“Kids are starting social media so early these days, and I think that’s very dangerous because it puts a lot of pressure on the kid to attribute their worth to their social media success.

I also think parents are way too open with their social media when it comes to their kids, and it’s totally a violation of the child’s privacy, of which some parents will never admit.”

22. Don’t discourage learning.

“There was this one time my sister’s Spanish teacher told her off for using vocabulary outside the sheet she’d been given for homework.

Their task was to write a short essay introducing themselves in Spanish and use some simple adjectives. She asked me for help and since I’m quite a bit older than her and know a decent amount of Spanish, I have her a few interesting adjectives and verbs to use instead of dumb stuff like “nice” and “kind” or whatever.

She comes back after school close to tears and tells me she got scolded for using vocab that wasn’t on the sheet. Smh teachers are supposed to encourage learning, not hinder it, right???”

23. Everyone is different.

“Teaching them that it’s not okay to fail. Some people need a little more time than others. It’s okay to not get something now. Kids should be given more time to process things.

Imagine having a poor grade because of a low score from the beginning of the year. How can we show children that it’s not pass or fail, it’s try and improve?”

24. Let it out.

“To repress their emotions.

It will only cause them to bottle them up and accumulate them to the point of exploding in an instant.”

25. Don’t talk back.

“”No backtalk.”

Many adults use it as “you’re not allowed to challenge what I have to say.”

Makes sense if it’s a cranky toddler being negative for negativity’s sake, but suddenly older children can’t question things or raise valid points of their own.”

26. You ungrateful little…

“That complaining is the same as not being grateful.

Can’t count the number of times growing up when adults basically told me to shut up whenever I was complaining about something and that I should be grateful that I was born where I was.

Like sure, I’m glad I wasn’t born into some starving African family, but that doesn’t mean everything is perfect over here and that we shouldn’t try to improve things here as well.”


“You show me respect first because I’m an adult and have authority then I choose whether I should show you respect no other way!”

28. I remember it well…

“Making children hug or kiss someone (usually a relative) that they are uncomfortable with is not good.

The child may just be grumpy and or not wanting to show affection or their warning bell sensors could be going off and they do not know how to communicate that.

Plus forcing them to hug/kiss sends mixed messages about personal/physical boundaries and affection itself.”

29. Drilled into your head.

““She’s younger than you, just let it go.” “Can’t you be more compassionate? Your the older one here in this situation” “ She’s a little child, she doesn’t know any better”

Absolutely h**e this information that was drilled into me since I was a kid.”

30. Emotional disconnect.

“Nobody cares about children’s/teens issues.

“Well it’s only going to get worse from here”. “You think school is hard? Have you ever paid a f**king bill” “You’re just a kid you can’t feel this way”.

It breeds an emotional disconnect from parents and their kids. And makes kids feel alone in their emotional struggles, that nobody cares because they’re not adults and they don’t have “Adult Problems”.”

Well, what do you have to say about this?

In the comments, sound off about the harmful things you think are being taught to kids today.

Please and thank you!