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There are parents everywhere who are helping their kids with schoolwork (or doing the teaching at home) now that school is out for the foreseeable future.
And while there are many different kinds of frustration at the situation, one of the funniest – and most annoying – is how we’re all learning just how much schooling we don’t remember.
The perfect example is this worksheet given to kindergartners, because y’all – no one can figure this shizz out.
Parent Nissa Ren Cannon posted the worksheet – and her confusion – on Twitter.
“I have a PhD, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what you’re supposed to do on this kindergarten worksheet.”
I don’t blame her. It looks like a random collections of objects in a classroom, with one arbitrary line and the word Pair.
Just. I don’tknow.
Cannon went on, saying at first she thought she had it figured out like, “pencils and chairs are made of the same material,” then maybe “you use a pencil while sitting on a chair!” but by the time she got to the ball and the bell, she was out of thoughts.
Twitter, however, had a few.
Like this person, who assumed the entire worksheet was influenced by British post-punk.
It’s clearly influenced by the early albums of British post-punk outfit Wire, The middle scenario describes “Chairs Missing” and the bottom row “A Bell Is A Cup, Until It Is Struck”. Something every kindergartner is familiar with.
— stx (@variablesglobal) March 20, 2020
And someone else pointed out that even the guy giving the instructions seemed awfully confused.
Even the instructions don’t know what’s happening… pic.twitter.com/ap3Elk6RFY
— Amy Johnson is staying at home (@amjinjo) March 20, 2020
It’s true, he does.
A third reply is sure that the worksheet is trying to teach kids how to Shawshank their way out of prison, even though she’s never seen the movie.
You might not have seen my daughter’s answer because her twitter ac out is private: “K teacher here. Probably accompanies a listening activity “the pencil is on the chair” “the book is under the table.”
— Elaine Fine (@fine_elainefine) March 20, 2020
That much was obvious.
The correct response came from a Kinder teacher, who said that the sheet is likely part of a listening activity, where the teacher tells the children where to put the objects and they practice with position words like “on”, “under,” “behind,” etc.
You might not have seen my daughter’s answer because her twitter ac out is private: “K teacher here. Probably accompanies a listening activity “the pencil is on the chair” “the book is under the table.”
— Elaine Fine (@fine_elainefine) March 20, 2020
This was seconded by this woman, who actually has the manual.
The teacher is supposed to tell them where they go. See page 224/306 of the teacher’s manual: https://t.co/8k7lRPsK0A
— Maggie Wittlin (@maggiewittlin) March 20, 2020
So, there you go – mystery solved!
I don’t know about you, but I feel better knowing that the reason we couldn’t solve it on our own was just because we didn’t have all of the necessary information.
This time, anyway.