Religion is a fine thing, and it gives people around the world peace and hope and it helps them make sense of you know…all of this crap.
That said, whatever those preachers with the big churches, big cars, big houses, and tons of cash are, it’s not religious, or holy, or any sort of devout.
Most people with good heads on their shoulders, religious or not, realize there’s no point in giving money to a man and not to God, but for some – typically those who are needy in some way – they can’t tell the difference.
This Granny, she had a good head on her shoulders, and she just couldn’t let the bad dudes keep being bad.
When she lay dying after years of being involved, active, and faithful, all the people at her church could talk about was how she should remember the church in her will.
Bastards.
The church was a big one in the Deep South, if that paints a picture for you.
Grandma had done it all for years.
She was a perfect member, never failed, never stopped.
She was a quintessential Christian.
She loved, she cooked, she brought more people to the lap of God.
She forgave people who definitely didn’t deserve it.
That changed when, like everyone, her body started to give out on her. Not her mind, though!
And that church, where she had poured her heart and soul and her spare time for most of her life?
They forgot about her.
No. He. Didn’t.
Y’all, he made her CRY.
I am angry on behalf of this woman I have never met.
And this woman never cried.
Neither of her pastors bothered to come to her funeral.
Because they weren’t invited.
Instead of a eulogy, people stepped up to talk about what she meant to them over the years.
Everyone loved it.
Then came the second punch.
The preachers showed up to the reading of the will, though. And they were pumped.
The tension was mounting.
But they had to wait until the very end to hear what they’d come for.
I can hardly take the suspense!
She detailed their sins.
Which took awhile, as there were many.
They had broken her heart. And she had let them.
But no more.
She was going to leave them a lot.
But…
I think you can guess where this is going.
They were stunned. But I don’t know why.
Everyone loved it.
But that wasn’t all.
And how did they respond?
What were they thinking?
Of course, there was history.
This is the South.
I think I love this woman.
Well, that’s the story of how one old lady delivered a knockout punch to two douchebags who have the nerve to call themselves men of God.
Pretty delightful, don’t you think?
So satisfying!