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I’m not personally a gamer, but I have some friends who definitely are, and I will admit that the ones who do it spend A TON OF TIME playing video games.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I guess it depends on the person. To me, it doesn’t sound very appealing, but I guess it’s a lot better than some of the other things men could be doing in their spare time…
So, is it bad for men to focus on video games and hobbies instead of “traditional” things like relationships, marriage, and families?
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about this.
1. Opting out.
“There are a lot of whiny articles recently about how men don’t go to university at the same rate as young women, don’t work as many hours as they used to, and in general participate less in society and rather play video games or something.
This naturally comes at the expense of traditional life attainments such as working yourself to death, having an insanely expensive wedding, and being the sole provider for a family that will eventually kick you out.
If you read through these articles, you will find that the theme is men bad because they refuse to play the social role written for them. It’s mostly from the perspective of how this creates problems for women in the long run, but still that’s the core of it.
Contrary to what these journalists would have you believe, I think these young men are acting completely rationally when opting out of this life script. There just aren’t enough incentives to play this role, it is too risky and too exhausting, and I can personally see how one would derive way more satisfaction from hanging out with ones mates, playing video games, or being in a band. Young men don’t owe society anything.
We should just live and let live, and let people enjoy their lives in the way they want to, instead of judging them.”
2. Not worth the effort.
“As a young white man who did want all those neat lil’ things like marriage, family, house and all that jazz, I’ve found the reward not worth the effort.
The cost of living is just too damn high. If I did get the family and the house, I’d never see them since I’d be working all the time to ‘provide’…
What’s the point in taking on all that responsibility just work myself to death and not even be around?
I never see my brothers or friends with families anymore… and their families dont see them either.”
3. An interesting POV.
“It was practically always like this for men, only before the modern age men didn’t have a choice.
There was nothing else besides the only possible life plan of starting to work hard while you were still a kid and keep doing it until you died, spending more time on work than on your loved ones – spending more time on work FOR your loved ones. (Feminists call this “privilege” and think women were oppressed by them not being forced into this role.)
If you think about it men sacrificed their dreams, aspirations, their health and their lives for their families, and all they got in return was …their families, and some respect.
Modern ideologies demolished that all and when they still expect men to work like oxen they offer literally nothing in return, just shame and ridicule and hostility.”
4. From a divorced guy.
“I’m Gen X, divorced with kid, ok 9-5 job, rent small apartment in a big city and I’m perfectly content playing video games nights and weekends.
I don’t desire to do anything (or anyone…) else. I’m also happier now with no responsibilities to be a husband and help maintain a household. Plus, my kid is now old enough to play video games with me.
We have a lot of fun together that way. Life is good, no complaints.”
5. It’s up to you.
“Whether you’ve been married or not, if you work a steady job and support yourself, you’re entitled to do whatever you like. If that means chilling out at home in your own free time playing video games, then so be it.
I have a steady partner, no kids (just 2 cats). We both work and split everything 50/50. In our free time, we’re chilling, playing games, doing whatever we fancy.
As far as I’m concerned we’ve got it good. Neither of us wants kids either.”
6. In a weird place.
“Also Gen X. Also a gamer. Single & never married. No kids.
I’m making pretty good money now but I’m in this weird place. The responsible thing is to never spend money and prepare for retirement. I don’t really like working nor do I feel any sense of accomplishment from it. Sometimes I’ve had a community/tribe from work that was valuable to me but I haven’t had that in a decade.
I have two options; I can retire now and live as frugally as I have up to this point for the rest of my life or I can stay on this treadmill for another 20 years and retire to umm… no clue what. I’ve defined my life by living frugally and I’m not sure I’d know what to do with ‘all that money’.
I don’t like old people in general and all the opportunities to settle down and have a family are now long gone. I squandered my youth under same jaded theory that bettering myself would be some magic bullet to avoid dying alone. Now I’ve bettered myself and I have money.
I spent my whole life trying to avoid being a stereotype and now I’m a creepy old man stereotype. Maybe I’ll be part of the coming ‘Creepy Old Gamer’ stereotype in a year or two.”
7. Stop policing me!
“It’s strange how everyone is obsessed with policing what men do on their spare time.
I want to stay in (especially in winter), play some games, and save money (because bills and mortgage).
Other people stay in and watch their Netflix, reality tv, gossip tv, news, sports… but somehow my gaming is an issue?”
8. Breaking norms.
“It’s so strange how some of the same media outlets that encourage women to “break social norms” and to go against society to be who they want to be, are now criticizing men for doing just that.
I’m not going to take either side here on whether social norms are good to follow or not, but at least be consistent with whichever viewpoint you take.”
9. Not a good thing.
“Well, Japan has a lot of this going on and they are practically losing an entire generation of self-imposed monks.
This isn’t boding well for Japan as a whole.”
10. Content with myself.
“The last girl I went on a date with explained to me that she’s been on 55 first dates in six months!!
Here’s the thing… I am financially, emotionally, and otherwise stable. I have everything a woman would want in a life partner. I am in shape, I work hard and make a lot of money, I have hobbies that I’ve turned into effective side hustles, I travel and socialize, I would say I’m at least an 8 to 9 in attractiveness, and so on.
She wasn’t having it though… Like what does this woman expect in men that she can’t find a partner in 56 opportunities? I think this is a big issue, because it shows to me that woman’s expectations are getting absolutely bat sh*t crazy.
As a business man, I look at the value proposition and the risk/reward in committing to these expectations and it has turned me into a player, that runs through women like they are candy. If I live on never married but have the opportunity to have s*x with who I please, I would be completely content with myself.”
11. More power to you.
“Yeah i live that way because of a series of crippling mental problems but i know a load of people from college both men and women who do it completely by choice since they just don’t see the value in running the rat race like their parents did.
If you can live a happy life doing the bare minimum you need to do to keep yourself fed, sheltered, and happy then more power to you.”
12. A female perspective.
“30 year old chick here, my life is work, gaming, gym and motorsport. I’ve had my tubes tied and can’t ever see myself getting married because screw that level of stress and responsibility.
Most of my friends are single guys basically living the same lifestyle and I can totally see why it’s so appealing. A few of them would love to settle down and have kids but chicks aren’t interested because of their lifestyles, which makes me laugh as most of these chicks don’t want to be stay at home mums and give up their careers.
You’d think a chill guy that would be happy taking care of the house and kids would be perfect for them.”
13. Here’s a hot take for ya.
“It’s interesting that when men start to uphold some self-respect and not compromise their standards we’re called commitment-phobic.
I see this a lot with my female friends in that 28-35 age range who continuously complain about men not wanting to “stick it out” with them or are “intimidated” by their confidence but in reality they still expect the men they date to tolerate behaviors and attitudes that men would tolerate when they were in their early to mid 20s.
They’ve made little to no evolution in their character and still subscribe to an immature doctrine of how men should just tolerate and condone their behaviors just because “that’s what men do” and fail to realize the hypocrisy in such a misandrist take.
Add to the fact that men are becoming more accustomed to having our grievances ignored and unsupported by the opposite s*x and society as a whole, we’ve been able to find peace and happiness in our solitude and in things that provide us the happiness we don’t receive and get from the opposite s*x.
Recently a woman who I had been sleeping with for a couple months asked me to date her and I told her I prefer we stay friends. She insisted I tell her why, why I would turn down such an opportunity – “I mean I’d date me” were her words.
I finally caved and told her I’m turned off by the fact she sh*ts on men on a weekly basis on her IG story and having such a bias and negative attitude toward my gender is not the type of thing I want to endorse in a potential partner.
I even asked if she would ever be interested in dating a man who spoke negatively about women on a weekly basis and she said, I sh*t you not, “No but that’s different cause what I say about guys is true”.
And this woman isn’t an outlier to the issue, these type of women are rampant in the dating pool and they are very good at grabbing the attention of men because they can present themselves initially as interesting, intelligent, and open-minded but they turn out to be one-dimensional, ignorant, and arrogant. I blame Amber Rose.”
Okay, now we want to hear from you.
What do you think of this issue?
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