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The decision whether or not to have children is a personal one, and one that different people make for vastly different reasons – all of them valid.
Whether you’ve already made that choice for yourself or not, you might be interested in why some people choose to live the child-free life, totally happy with that decision.
If so, these 17 people are opening up, so we’ve got you covered!
17. He’s saving the world from more a$$holes.
I’m a miserable a$$hole.
Why the heck would I want to make a smaller version of myself who’s reliant on me and continue the cycle of emotionally closed off a$$hats?
16. Mental health struggles.
Im barely mentally well enough to care for myself, let alone a child.
If only more people thought like that, we wouldn’t have crappy parents.
15. Kids definitely steal that.
I like sleep.
Sleep is like a free trial of death. Love that s*%t.
14. It’s not really funny.
I use my personality as birth control. My personality is the epitome of abstinence
13. If you always take the selfish.
I don’t want to put them first and I believe they should come first.
Oddly, when I tried to explain this to a friend’s mom a few years ago, she told me I was being selfish. I thought it was the opposite of selfish, not having a kid before I’m mature enough to selflessly provide for it.
Several years later, I decided I was ready. I was right to wait.
12. Not all of us are tribal.
I’m a solitary beast and enjoy my alone time.
Super duper extra deluxe extreme introvert x 9000. Leave me alone.
11. If you’re not ready to give that up…
“I love kids. The only thing I love more than kids is doing whatever I want, whenever I want,” Sarah Silverman
10. Think of the children.
I haven’t always made the best choices. I’m on the spectrum. I just don’t think I’m fit to raise a child.
Sometimes I snap pretty bad when I’m overwhelmed and I’d hate for a kid to be put through that.
I mean not that I’d do anything to the kid, it just wouldn’t be fair to a child for me to just freak out and become a sobbing pile on the floor.
Sometimes I think I’d like to have a kid, because it would be fun to go to a museum and teach them things, and all the little holiday traditions would be fun to pass on, and I’d love seeing what things they build with Lego or what funny shit I could pretend they said for twitter clout, but then sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by my own broken brain that I guess it’s good there’s no kid around.
Although if I had a good partner I think that would help.
9. You don’t want to give anything up.
I’m fundamentally a selfish person, and I believe raising a child properly requires unselfish behavior.
Another question I think people should ask is if they would be emotionally prepared to raise a severely disabled child? If the answer is no, then you should approach having a biological child with more consideration.
8. Know your limits.
I just don’t think I’m fit to raise a child.
I wish more people would assess themselves realistically and act accordingly.I have a lot of respect for people like you who know what their limits are.
There are so many children who suffer because the parents are overwhelmed and regret their decision to have a child. It’s unfair.
(I don’t really know you and don’t know if you aren’t too harsh on yourself. I am not judging you).
7. They’re super expensive.
I can’t afford to give a child the quality life I want for them yet.
Edit: I think it’s important that everyone remembers that quality life may not mean the same thing to everyone, and there are multiple factors that influence quality of life.
Some people may feel financial pressure because they can’t provide basic essentials, while at the same time, some people may the feel the same pressure because they can’t provide a private school education. Some people may feel they don’t have quality time to dedicate to raising a child and might be putting their career first for awhile. Some people may have moved multiple times in their lives and will only feel secure when they have a stable home to provide a child. You do not have to be rich to have children. But you do have to be in a place in your life where you prepared to provide for them, love them, show up for them, and help them when they need it. This includes making sure that ones self is also mentally and emotionally prepared to make that commitment and follow through.
It’s not just money. It’s not just time. It’s not just assets or liabilities. It’s not just mental health. It’s all of it and it looks different for everyone.
Please keep your judgments to yourself.
6. Adulthood is a myth.
I, myself, am still a child.
I’m turning 30 soon and still feel this is why I haven’t had kids yet. Can’t believe my dad was five years younger than I am now when I was born. Taking care of my very good and easy dog, having a job, and doing housework is too much already.
5. No desire.
Money. Time. No desire at all. My mom used to say having a child is like getting a tattoo on your face. You better be damn certain you really want it.
4. Sometimes you know too much.
I’m a nanny— I’ve seen enough lol.
3. Not-ideal genetics.
Ive chosen not to pass on my mental and physical health problems. I can see negative traits from both my mother’s and father’s family and decided not to continue the line.
I do, however, want to adopt. Along side my unwillingness to curse a human with my genetically-passed ailments, I also want to care for a child that has been left or abandoned. They need love before I create something that needs love.
2. There aren’t that make good ones.
I’m a teacher. Chance of getting a good one (I don’t mean accademically) is less than 50%. Chance of being obsessed you do have a good one is 100%. Bad odds both ways for a 50-60 year committment.
I get the same odds, am paid to do it, get immense satisfaction from the job and am also free of the committment.
1. The circle of life.
They f**k you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were f**ked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
**~ Philip Larkin, “This Be The Verse”**
I love hearing people’s reasoning, even if they don’t need to tell us.
If you’re happily child-free, tell us your reasons in the comments (if you want)!
