I think we all kind of assume that we’re going to encounter alien life at some point in the future (if we haven’t already), but there are about a dozen ways that meeting could go down.
If the aliens showed up all peaceful like, though, and just asked for a meeting, who should we send?
These 16 people have some ideas, and I bet that some of them will surprise you.
16. She’s so gentle.
Without a question, Jane Goodall.
A regular diplomat would only be competent with human interactions.
A behavioral biologist would understand the need to fundamentally reevaluate communication for a different species.
15. Except…
Carl Sagan.
Except he’s probably the one stepping out of the ship…
14. Trustworthy is good.
My father-in-law…fair and just and a person of his word unto death. Most trustworthy person I ever met.
13. Possibly the best answer.
Can they be living or dead? Bc Steve Irwin.
Croikey, would you take a look at that alien! I’m gonna touch it.
12. Not terrible reasons.
Mark Zuckerburg
He’d probably recognize a couple of them.
Also he’s the most expendable.
11. He’d be into it.
Dave Grohl.
No reason except that he is exceptionally charismatic.
10. Setting the scene.
Rick Astley so that their first impression of Earth is just being rickrolled.
It’s 2027.
Alien spaceship hovering over what they identify as the center of our worlds power… a McDonalds restaurant.
World powers convey in the restaurant car park, massive speakers ready to blare out Rick Ashley’s “Never gonna give you up”.
After several play throughs the aliens leave.
Skip to 3 days later. Millions of alien space ships descend on Earth in an equidistant pattern that spans the entire globe. In a gesture of friendship and communication, the space ships play the song repeatedly for 4 months, with a sound range enough to cover all the distance in between each spaceship.
The world is now essentially a giant Bluetooth speaker blaring out Never gonna give you up on repeat.
Your plan has backfired.
Rick Astley is now Universal President.
9. A tactical thinker.
Some guy with severe disabilities so they under estimate us and we win the coming war.
8. Florida Man.
Florida Man.
Whatever day the Aliens arrive, that date needs to be entered into Google and the Florida man from the 1st article will be summoned.
Unlimited PBR, Budweiser and Natty will be provided for this meeting.
Also freshly extracted from the ass baggy of crystal meth, QP of the finest middies from the city, an old prescription bottle filled to the brim of X, about 7 grams of fentanyl laced heroin w/ the brand new never used for drugs spoon he stole from the thrift store, a 2 liter Mountain Dew and 9 rox from Jerry on MLK Blvd…..
7. Seems like an odd choice.
That dude who keeps pulling napkins out from under other objects then stares at the camera all crazy.
6. A good bet.
Neil Gaiman. I feel like he would know what to say.
5. Thinking ahead.
Hans Zimmer, Interstellar full soundtrack, full orchestra.
Wouldn’t make much sense sending someone with a language really, better to communicate in frequencies…
4. Good stories to tell.
Jeff Goldblum. I feel like he’d have some great stories to tell them, and he’d be super interested in anything they have to say as well
So long as they introduce him as the Grand Master exactly the same way he’s introduced in the movie.
Prepare yourself.
3. She’s always the right answer.
Dolly Parton would be a solid person I would say. She chill.
2. Make the aliens dance.
Marc Rebillet.
If anyone can make aliens dance, it would absolutely be the loop daddy himself.
1. He wants to watch the world burn.
Gorden Ramsey. I will not explain my thinking. But it would be funny for multiple reasons.
My reasoning are beyond even my understanding. I just really want them to think thats how everyone cooks.
I don’t know some of these people, but as long as it’s not me, I’m honestly fine with any choice.
Who would your first draft pick be if it was up to you? Drop your nomination in the comments!
