Woman Wants to Know if She Was Wrong for Lashing Out at Her Mother

We all get into fights with our family members from time to time…it’s just part of the deal, you know?

But this woman thinks she might have gone too far in regard to how she lashed out at her mother and now she’s asking the fine folks of Reddit for their advice.

Read on to see what happened…

AITA for yelling at my mom that I am not a stay at home wife/mom, even though I haven’t worked in 19 years, then told her to leave my home?

“So, I am (50f) have been married to my husband (53m) for 25 years, and I have 21yr twins, and a 13yo.

I used to be a network engineer for many years. I have 2 medical conditions that I have dealt with since I was in my early 20s. I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS), and Adhesive Arachnoiditis (AA). While most know what MS is, many probably don’t know what AA is, so here is a quick description.

AA is a spinal cord disorder where the nerves that come out of the base of your spine, start to break down and adhere to each other. AA is a debilitating and painful condition. As a matter of fact, the pain from AA is right up the pain scale with metastatic bone cancer.

19 years ago, my conditions became worse, and my doctors declared me permanently disabled. I went out of work, and applied, and was given long term disability with in 3 month of applying. So, for the last 19 years I have of course raised/am raising my kids.

I do most of the cooking, but we have someone that comes in twice a week to do cleaning and laundry, as it is impossible for me to do those things. My husband is an absolute gem. He works 8 to 10 hours a day, and thankfully works from home. He helps without my asking, and has never acted negatively towards me because of my disability.

My mother as always been dismissive of my medical conditions, saying that she had aches and pains but didn’t let that get in her way. I have tried to explain that what I am dealing with are not simple aches and pains. I have even given her printouts on my conditions. But, she continues to blow it off.

Well, she arrived last week for a 2 week visit. As soon as she walked into my home she started complaining about our clutter (things like a pile of mail). During her visit her remarks became more frequent, and nasty until finally she told me I am a terrible stay at home wife/mom, and she is surprised my husband tolerates this and stays with me, because I am a physical and financial leech that is too lazy to do anything. I LOST IT!

I told her I am not a house wife, and I didn’t stop working 19 years ago to become one. I told her I am physically disabled, and spend half my time in a wheelchair. I told her if anyone was a terrible mom it was her for not recognizing and taking my medical conditions seriously.

I then told her to leave and go back home. I also told her that until she could she could respect me, my home, and acknowledge my struggles, she was no longer welcome here.

She yelled back and said fine, she will not be coming back, packed, and went home. When she got home she told my step-dad, and sister her version of what happened. They both started calling me and telling me I was an Ahole for throwing my mom out, and for the other things I said. They wouldn’t even listen to my side. So, I told them I have no problem going no contact with them as well, and hung up the phone.

I think I might be TA, because she is my mom, and maybe I shouldn’t have been so harsh.

Well Reddit, AITA?”