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Everyone with a heart wants to do their best to be a good friend. We want to be there for the people who are there for us, and everyone knows that a 21st birthday is a big event.
OP’s friend is turning 21 and planning a big party, the details of which were secret for some time.
I (21f) was invited to my friend Stacy’s (fake name) birthday celebration a few days ago. She has been very excited, as she is the last in our friend group to turn 21, and has been keeping her party planning mostly secret so she can surprise us all.
Turns out she organised for a few of our friends, as well as some other friends from her college cheer team, to have a picnic at our city’s botanical gardens (I’m unsure if these are global, but it’s basically a large park with lots of different plants).
She picked out a spot right next to the rose display, as they are her favourite flowers and hold a lot of sentimentality for her.
Once OP learned that the party was a picnic at a rose garden she had to decline – she has severe allergies to flowers, specifically roses.
The issue is, I am quite allergic to flowers, think hayfever but worse. I’m not anaphylactic, but my eyes become so itchy they can swell closed, my nose runs like a leaky tap, and very rarely, I can struggle to breathe. The flower I seem to be most allergic to are roses, as the breathing issue tends to happen when I am exposed to them. Stacy does know about my allergies, and has seen me have a few reactions over the years.
I declined the invitation, and naturally, as 21st are usually an important celebration, she texted me asking why I couldn’t come.
When her friend found out she said the reason wasn’t good enough, and was clearly upset OP wouldn’t attend.
When I told her, she became quite upset with me and said that my excuse wasn’t good enough, and that there must be a better reason, and when I said it was my real reason, she became even more upset
. She kept insisting that I come anyways, citing that I have medication to help me, but she must have forgotten it was a nasal spray, as when I reminded her she said that it was disgusting, and she didn’t want to see that on her birthday, even though I offered to run to the toilets when I needed to use it.
OP made other suggestions, such as wearing a mask or taking the friend out to eat just the two of them, but her friend refused to budge and wanted OP to be at the picnic regardless.
I tried to compromise with her, and said that I’d be happy to wear a mask, as it may help lessen the severity, but she shot the idea down as it was a picnic, so i’d take it off to eat, and she didn’t want a mask to be in photos.
I also said that I’d be happy to take her out for breakfast earlier in the day so we could still hang out for her birthday, but she declined as she wanted all of her friends to celebrate together.
It’s making OP wonder whether or not she’s being dramatic, or worse, not a good enough friend.
I don’t want to miss her birthday, but I don’t want to ruin it my being a sniffly mess, and possibly having a severe reaction. AITA?
What advice is Reddit giving her? Let’s find out below!
The top comment kind of sums up what most others seem to be thinking, which is that her friend is being a drama queen.
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It kind of seems as if there is no way for OP to win here.
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If she wanted to be passive aggressive…
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This person says she might want to reevaluate the whole friendship, honestly.
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They say when people show you who they are…
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This is really crappy, I think. If someone doesn’t want to come to your party, they honestly don’t really need to explain themselves at all.
If this was your friend, would she still be after this? Tell us in the comments why or why not!
