I think most of us would like to believe that we have moved beyond a reality where parents threaten to disown their children – or perhaps worse, try to convince them something is wrong with them – when their sexuality doesn’t line up with parental beliefs.
Then we come across posts like this one, though, and far too often.
OP is the husband, married to an “extremely religious” wife who cannot deal with the fact that their teenage daughter prefers to date women instead of men.
So I have a 16-year-old daughter Harley My wife is extremely extremely religious and is very against anything other than what is written in the Bible.
I’m still religious but once Harley arrived, It got me thinking that what if my daughter does something that doesn’t fit into my beliefs?
My wife however is the exact opposite of me. Now the conflict, about a year ago my daughter said that she likes girls l, she told me first and then we sat my wife down and told her the news.
She was not happy with it, my wife didn’t say anything to her and just looked disappointed.
Dad is handling it fine while his wife is going behind his back trying to convince their daughter it’s a phase, it’s wrong, and pushing dating apps and setups with men.
I was upset at this, as long as her partners aren’t hurting her in any way, it’s not our place to shame her for that.
I told my wife that she cannot try to tear our daughter down because she doesn’t agree, and she is going to have to make a sacrifice for the sake of our daughter and her well-being and to please make her feel supported
When OP found out what had been going on he confronted his wife. They fought at home for awhile before seeking out a therapist.
His wife has not changed her views but has, according to OP, managed to bite her tongue a little bit more often.
Turns out my wife was going to my daughter, and showing her all of these different dating apps of only men, trying to set her up with guys, “recommended” her to date one of her friends sons, and forced her to go out with him. She ended up telling my daughter that she was not normal from this and she needs to go to confession, because this is a phase.
This went on for months and I had no idea, she would stop when I was around,my daughter ended up breaking down when I asked her what was going on and told me everything.
To say I was angry would be an understatement, I am furious at my wife, Honestly what she did was so outdated and cruel, to the point that I was not sleeping with her and I was sleeping in the guest bedroom for a while, I couldn’t even look at her. We went to marriage counseling after this, and my wife hasn’t changed much, she still lets these comments slip, but bites her tongue more I guess.
Recently, his daughter has begun dating someone seriously and wants to introduce her to her dad – but not her mom.
OP’s wife has her feelings hurt that he would go without her, but he thinks this is the situation she created so now she just has to live with it.
My daughter got a girlfriend, and she wanted me to meet her. She sat down with both of us and said that she only wanted me to go, and that she didn’t trust my wife enough to not make a comment at this.
As I was getting ready my wife was mad about this, saying that she couldn’t believe she could exclude her from this.
I said she shouldn’t be, she’s made our daughter feel this way, and the only way to fix it is to get over her ridiculous homophobia,I told her that she’s letting her religion get in the way of the love for her daughter and in a few more years she’ll be asking why she doesn’t talk to her anymore.
I said until she can show our daughter how much we love and support her, she won’t interfere with this, this is a step foward for our daughter, and she doesn’t get to stomp on that.
Their “therapist” agrees that he’s being too hard on his wife and apparently other people do, too.
My wife started crying and stopped speaking to me, she told our therapist this and he thinks I was wrong because this is what she grew up on, but I think that’s just an excuse for homophobia.
My family is also saying I’m an a$$hole so am I?
Reddit, though? Let’s hear what they think down in the comments!
First of all, everyone wants to know what sort of therapist they have been seeing.
This person definitely isn’t sugarcoating what’s really going on here.
There are some facts that people honestly don’t want to hear.
Everyone in your life should just want you to be happy.
The bottom line is…she needs to get with the times.
Y’all, don’t have kids if you can’t just love them. That should be the only hard and fast life rule.
Do you think OP should be more understanding of his wife’s beliefs? Tell us why or why not in the comments!