Dad Asks if He’s a Jerk for Letting His Daughter Do What She Wants With Her Hair

That’s the way it should be for anyone who’s old enough to make these kinds of decisions, right?

Well, this dad wants to know if he’s an a**hole for doing just such a thing for his daughter.

Take a look and see if you think he’s out of line.

AITA for letting my daughter make her own choices about her hair?

“So me and my wife split years ago when our daughter (15F) was 4, she moved away so I got primary custody of our daughter, she flew back to see her often. For context me, my ex, and our daughter are all black, I have 4c hair, my ex has 3a and our daughter has 4a.

Im close friends with ‘Julia’ who lives in the apartment across from ours, she and her wife have three adopted children (19M, 16F, 9F) both the younger two are black with hair types similar to my daughter, the oldest (‘Milo’) is asian. Milo grew up doing his sister’s hair, so knows how to handle and style black hair. He’s also currently a hair and beauty student. He has been helping with my daughter’s hair since she was 7.

My ex got married last week, the reception was nearby as she wanted to get married in the same place as her parents. My daughter really wanted this particular hairstyle and for almost three months she got Milo to practice it on her until it was perfect, he didn’t mind, and neither did I, Julia and her family are almost like family to me and my daughter anyway.

The wedding came, Milo did my daughter’s hair, my ex had said our daughter can bring a handful of friends so she invited her best friend as well as Milo and his sisters.

The wedding was great, the venue was beautiful and my daughter loved seeing her mother again. My ex absolutely loved my daughter’s hair, she made a comment about getting something similar before she left and that was if for the night.

Me ex had stayed in town to catch up with her family and old friends, yesterday she texted me and asked about where our daughter got her hair done bc she wanted to get something similar. I told her that one of the neighbourhood kids did it and I could see if they would do it.

I asked and Milo agreed. She showed up and we went over to Julia’s house, she recognized the kids and assumed that it was the eldest daughter that did the hair. After a few minutes of chatting, Milo got home from school. My daughter started excitedly telling him that her mom loves what he did with her hair and wants to match her.

Immediately my ex’s face fell, she asked to talk to me, we went across the hall to my apartment. She then blows up at me and asks why the hell Ive been letting a “white man” touch our daughters hair. I corrected her that Milo isnt white and that hes been doing her hair for years and does his sibling’s hair. He uses the right products and clearly knows how to handle her hair.

She told me that it doesnt matter and said he doenst want him touching her or our daughter’s hair. I told her that if she doenst feel comfortable thats fine, but that our daughter is old enough to choose who does her hair, and she’s close with and trusts Milo.

She called me names and said then wont talk to me until i sort this out. I hvant heard from her since and our daughter is upset, she was excited to match and spend time with her mother.

I feel like I messed this up somehow, so AITA?”