Pregnancy is an exciting time, and that’s usually extra true when it’s the first one for a couple. It’s also a daunting time, and can be a super stressful time, and it’s awesome when you have a partner by your side for support.
OP in this case is the brother of the pregnant woman, and since their parents are both deceased, he does his best to check up on her regularly – despite not being super close with her husband.
My m33 parents are deceased. I have a younger sister f25 who’s married and is expecting. I’m also married but don’t have kids due to health issues on both sides.
I’d visit and check on my sister from time to time. I’m not on great terms with her husband m31 but we’re civil to each other. she started calling asking for my help more often since she got pregnant I have no issue with this but BIL thinks I’m being “too involved” in my sister and the baby’s life.
Recently he’s been helping out more, since she’s pregnant and her husband is too busy (?) to do certain things.
When she called and asked him to drive her to her 20 week anatomy scan appointment, he said yes, only later learning that her husband had refused to reschedule a birthday celebration with his mother so he could go himself.
Last week, I got a call from my sister asking if I could take her to the dr. Office. It was a gender reveal appointment.
I asked why her husband didn’t take her and she explained he was supposed to drive her but he had to attend his mom’s birthday and asked her to reschedule but she refused.
OP’s brother-in-law was furious that OP “stole” the experience from him and called him weird for being so involved, to the point where the doctor assumed OP was the husband and not the brother.
I took her to the appointment, but BIL called and was furious saying I shouldn’t have gotten involved because now I’d caused him a precious moment in finding out if he was going to have a girl or a boy.
Basically saying that I took this experience away from him and called me weird for being too involved in my sister’s marriage and sticking my nose in it to the point where I was making the doctor think I was her husband.
OP shot back, calling his brother-in-law out for not being involved enough in the pregnancy/marriage.
Now OP isn’t sure whether or not he actually overstepped, and wants Reddit’s opinion on the matter.
I told him the reason the doctor thought I was her husband was because of his absence and lack of commitment as a father. He blew up at me and I hung up on him.
My wife said she gets that I wanna help my sister out but said that I might have gone too far and should’ve respected BILs boundaries.
They’re dropping thoughts below!
Many commenters have questions about how these events ended up overlapping to begin with.
It left many people assuming the brother-in-law’s relationship with his family is unhealthy, or that he’s more attached to his mother than his wife.
Seriously, folks had a lot of questions.
Most people still said NTA, because OP is only helping out his sister when asked, not horning in otherwise.
This commenter is happy his sister at least has some support during her pregnancy.
I would hope that my brother would do something like this for me if I needed a hand.
Do you think OP overstepped? Tell us why or why not in the comments!