No one who has been part of a blended family would ever say the road was easy. That said, parenting of any kind can be a rough road now and then, so I’m not sure being related by blood really matters on most (if any) days.
This woman has been a stepmother since her partner’s daughters were small and loves them dearly. She would have said (before this incident) that they were a well-adjusted family that co-parented well with the girls’ biological mother.
Until recently, the kids have been fine with sharing a room.
My partner, m38, and I,f32, have been together for 8 years. He has 2 amazing girls from his old relationship, 9 and 11. We get them every weekend from Fridays after school and take them to school Monday mornings, their mum is only 30mins away and school is only 15.
I love these girls, I have since I first met them which was why, when we built our house I made sure it had enough space for them inside and outside.
We built our house 5 years ago, my kidlets were still young enough they wanted to share a room, mums house is 2 bedroom so it was normal.
OP has a couple of jobs and goes to school, so she feels it’s important for her to have an office space at home. Having a separate room reduces her stress, gives her privacy, and makes her work-life balance easier in general.
I work 2 different jobs. One job is mornings from 6.30am to 9am, then 3pm to 6pm. I also do in-home support for the elderly from 10.30am to 1.30pm and I am also currently studying a 2year diploma, but aside from that both my job requires filling out paperwork and doing admin from home.
Our house has 4 bedrooms, I took the smallest of them, with a hi-lo windows, to turn into my office. This space is super important, it let’s me focus on my work, it’s quiet, I don’t have to stress about the dishes needing to be done or what to do for dinner like I used to at our old house when my ‘office’ was the kitchen table. I would always end up preparing dinner or cleaning instead of my work.
She was out of town recently for a couple of days and returned home to find that her husband had moved her things out of the “computer room” to make room for his oldest daughter’s things.
He said they didn’t want to share anymore and that her “computer room” made the most sense. When OP voiced her upset, he told her she was being ungrateful and that really he had her best interests at heart.
I came home from 2 nights away, not the weekend, helping my SILs grandmother prepare to move into a nursing home. When I went to put away all the paperwork we filled out into my filing drawers, my office was gone! Instead there was my 11yr old kidlets bed, chest of drawers, her toys and books.
I freaked out. I asked my partner why he did it, he said that 11yr wanted her own room now, and he thought the ‘computer room’ would be best.
He then said that Im always in there and that he thinks I should set up my office at the kitchen island because ‘that way I’m not shutting myself away.’ I said thanks for thinking of me and my supposed isolation but I need my office, I had EVERYTHING in order, one wall was painted a calming blue/green, I had everything where I needed it, and stressed so much less.
He said I was being ungrateful and that this was no longer the ‘computer room’ and I had to get over it. He has never behaved like this.
OP “overreacted” (according to him) when she moved all of the girl’s things into the bigger spare bedroom instead, reclaiming her space.
The next day I moved all my kidlet’s things into the empty bigger room. I even went and got wooden letters that spelled out both girls names for us to paint and put on the walls of their rooms.
My partner said my reaction was over the top, that I was being petty and selfish, I was putting my needs before his child’s and that 11yr old wanted my office room specifically, he said it was because she wanted to be closer to me.
Maybe I did over react, it is a just a room and I could have just set up in the larger room but this is the room I have, I guess, emotionally invested in. It is my space. He wants me to apologise.
AITA in this situation? Should I say sorry to him for over reacting?
Does Reddit agree with him? Are they on her side? Let’s find out!
The top comment says this has nothing to do with step-parenting. She needs to address it directly with her partner.
This person wonders whether or not there might be some simmering resentment about her working.
And this person thinks they just might have figured it out.
Either way, she definitely needs to nip this behavior in the bud.
After all, communication is key.
Y’all, it always freaks me out when guys just start behaving like this out of nowhere.
How would you handle this if you were OP? Let us know in the comments!