Here’s the truth: Harry Potter might have been originally written for kids, but those of us who have been lifelong fans are now adults with kids and jobs and lives of our own.
And that means we’ve got plenty to cuss about these days.
Sometimes, there’s no better response to a situation than a good, loud expletive – and you know what? I wouldn’t mind pairing those moments with a sweetly-scented candle.
Throw in a little Harry Potter, and I’m sold.
That’s where this handy little product comes into play: candles that combine the world of Harry Potter with swears that are at least as colorful.
The candles are available through the Sugar and Geek store on Etsy. There are four varieties, one for each of the Hogwarts Houses, that each feature a delicious scent and a scandalous swear word. As an added bonus, the scents are meant to reflect what the creators think the common rooms would smell like.
First (and most popular) is the “I Don’t Give A Huffle-Fuck” candle, which is bright yellow and smells like creamy vanilla and buttery sugar cookies.
Then, there’s the “I Don’t Give A Gryffin-Damn” candle, which is fiery red and smells like apples, mint leaves, fir trees, eucalyptus, clove, and firewood (that’s a lot of smells).
If you’re a Ravenclaw and want a matching candle, you’ll want to nab the “I Don’t Give A Raven-Crap” candle, and you’ll surely enjoy its shade of cobalt blue and the smell of apple, mahogany, cedar wood, and vanilla.
For the Slytherin in your life, there’s the “I Don’t Give A Slyther-Shit” candle, which is green and smells like citrus, lavender, jasmine, moss, wood, and lily of the valley.
If the curse candles are sold out and you’re set on a similar gift, Sugar and Geek has butterbeer candles on tap, and they also sell a set of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans candles (their scents are a mystery, of course).
Too. Damn. Funny.
All the candles are selling out quickly, though, so here’s hoping they’re planning to re-stock in the near future.
Because I don’t know about you, but I’m going to need at least one of each.