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It can sometimes seem that the people who are the most able to fake being amazing are the ones who are rewarded by life.
The people who really, really don’t (in our estimation) deserve the good things get heaps of them, and the folks who really deserve happiness seem to constantly be dodging crap.
Why does it seem like you have to be extremely fake in order to get anywhere in life?
byu/ls_2012 inNoStupidQuestions
Is it true, though, or only our perception?
People are Reddit are weighing in on this post in the No Stupid Questions forum!
14. Maybe they’re wise to it.
That’s interesting, mine was almost the complete opposite, and I’ve found just about everyone at my company is fantastic to work with.
I took a 14 week boot camp to learn how to program, never written a line of code in my life before that. Got an interview with a Fortune 100 company, it was entirely a personality interview. They asked me to write a recursion loop on a dry erase board, which I halfway botched and didn’t even finish, guy said that was close enough. I got the job.
They told me their entire methodology had changed, that instead of hiring competent programmers they preferred to hire highly personable people with an aptitude to learn programming. Still here 4 years later and I dig it, the folks around me are so easy to work with, and I’ve basically learned how to do my job while on the clock.
13. See, some people seem to be catching on.
The company I work for finally have had enough of hiring people who are only good at doing job interviews instead of actually being good at what they are supposed to do for their jobs.
So now we do a simple interview, then sit them in front of a computer to perform a technical test that actually relates to their job, and if they pass, we continue the rest of the interview.
12. Roll with the punches.
I don’t think there is just one ‘authentic’ version of yourself.
It’s not just work and home life, there’s with different groups of friends, family, the pub, I’m definitely a different person when driving.
Even with my girlfriend who I have been with for 8 years, there are things I would think and not say.
For work, if you are trying to get ahead you have to play the game. But at least you know it’s all bulls**t.
I also find it easier doing a lot of the grubby things you have to do for work if you know that its not really who you are.
11. Grin and bear it.
It doesn’t take much for someone that put all their points in charisma to pass a job interview.
10. Yeah, man.
I like your comment and the concept of ‘authenticity’ is something I’ve thought a lot about.
In possible contrast to you, I think almost all human life is about work and love. Love being used loosely, from friend and family love to romantic love.
And work is paid work as well as unpaid hobby work. In my opinion almost everything worthwhile in the world can be reduced to work or love.
Sounds cliché but love is work and work is (hopefully) a labor of love. In an ideal world.
9. You gotta do what you gotta do.
I’m one of the absolute friendliest, nicest, most polite people you’ll meet.
I love small talk, I have great manners, hard-working, and chipper, and I’ll do anything I can to accommodate you and find something that works for my job and for you.
The minute I clock out, I’m anti-social, I’m quiet, and I will happily do nothing more than read my book and not move a muscle for 18 hours until I have to do it again.
I like to say I’m professionally two-faced.
8. Philosophy is fun!
I suggest reading “The presentation of self in everyday life” by Erving Goffman.
He explains how in order to get anywhere and do anything we need to put up an act and he tries to find out whether there really is any real self
7. If you want to get technical.
I think it’s partially the dunning-kruger effect among other things.
It’s the person who is barely competent in something that will sell themselves as an expert, whereas the person who is actually proficient will generally be more modest about their skill level
6. I think this is illegal. Maybe.
I’ve had 4 interviews over the last 2 months, all but one ghosted me. They just told me they appreciated my time but went with someone else. I have a nerve disorder that causes my tendons to retract. My hands have a claw like look, I can’t straighten my fingers out. My resume is good, because this disorder is degenerative so it’s gotten considerably worse the last few years.
Which is why I had 4 interviews out of 7 applications, but once they saw I was “handicapped” the whole demeanor changed. It’s extremely frustrating and then the people chosen over me are usually uneducated on the field. I know what you mean though, especially when you see these fake people getting promoted for being bosses little “yes man/woman”.
I got denied for disability because apparently I can walk “good enough”, but I just need to get a lawyer next time I file. I’d rather not get disability , and just get a job I can somewhat enjoy and not destroy my already damaged body. I want to contribute and not have to rely on the government, but when you live in a “right to work” state it’s tough.
I understand their hesitance but just give me a chance and I’ll show them I’m competent enough to succeed. Sorry for the rant, but I feel your frustration….
5. It’s certainly true some of the time.
My husband still brings up one of his coworkers from his first job time to time. “She was dumber than a brick”, “I taught this [really easy thing] to her at least 5 times last week, and she’s already forgotten”, “ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS TURN THE KEY, she couldn’t turn on the car”, etc etc. Like this woman’s incompetence gave him so much grief, and he’s fantastic as a teacher, so her continued lack of any kind of understanding was horrifying to him.
He told me a few months later that they had been talking about salaries, they were both hired at the same time, and she’s apparently not dumb at interviews. She was making some redicuous sum more than my husband, my husband who has been doing her work most of the time, and his, and built an app for this company. He left shortly after, especially since he did complain about her adding onto his workload often (and when someone else was saddled with her, they would also complain)
I would say she’s got it figured out, getting out of doing work, but apparently her own ineptitude would often make her cry/blame others.
4. The facts of life.
To get anywhere, you have to fit in. For that reason, the way forward is to tailor yourself to the requirements.
3. It’s a different skill set.
Im in engineering school and basically nothing we learn is really job specific or how to be professional, just math.
But i get like 10 emails a week about interview skills workshops.
Everything is all about looking good and landing a good job right out college, nothing about building good work ethic and skills so you can continue to succeed five plus years from now.
Schools only care about students going to top companies right away, their statistics dont care if every grad loses their fortune 500 job after 6 months
2. However you can win, do that.
Think about “survival of the fittest”, but not in a sense of the stronger will survive, but that those who fit in with the group the best will survive. It’s easier for a predator to hunt prey that is separated from the pack. I seriously hate facades and social conformity, but unfortunately unless you do to a certain degree you’re going to have a much harder time. Whether or not you want to role those dice, that choice is yours.
Personally, I think conformity is a miserable way to live and say to hell with it in favor of authenticity and genuineness. What good is your life if you have to lie and act in a way that isn’t true to yourself, right? Unless you’re a sociopath… but I digress. IMO an honest world is a better world.
1. One triumph at a time.
There’s a systemic misalignment between the needs of the organization and what actually takes place in the recruitment process.
As a management consultant, it warms my black heart to hear of one company that saw this and changed the process to their benefit.
I don’t think it’s as easy as a simple answer, do you?
Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!
