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People Are Trying To Figure Out Who Wrote These Wonderfully Bizarre Spice Labels

Photo Credit: Twitter

Twitter user Rahel Aima was innocently browsing Oasis Bakery when she came across these spice containers, full of blends like jerk rub and Persian spice. Upon taking a closer look at the labels on the containers, Rahel desperately needed to have a word with the copywriter.

You’ll understand why as soon as you see them for yourself.

You probably can’t read that, so here’s some help…

“Roberto Saviano’s novel Gomorrah provides a firsthand expose of the savagery and underhanded dealings of Southern Italy’s Camorra (a powerful Neapolitan mafia-like organization). One of the unscrupulous business practices detailed in the novel is the construction industry’s use of inferior building materials to save on costs. In the L’Aquilla earthquake of April 2009 several modern buildings were thought to have collapsed because sea sand had been used to produced the concrete…”

O_o

There are approximately two words about Italian herbs in this very long, very wordy paragraph.

Lest you believe that this is fakery, other Twitter users have also taken photos of these absurd labels.

And you can see the copywriter in action on the Oasis Bakery website.

One paragraph about sumac reads…

“I often wonder about the existential nature of sumac – a spice that’s able to transcend all common notions of time & space & form.”

The description for mustard powder…

“Many great Eskimos have suffered from bipolar disorder & managed to earn great success in the non-descript arts of taxidermy, apiary & home brewing.”

Quick question: Is this copywriter OK???

Nobody knows, but one thing’s for sure… Oasis’ bakery sales likely just went up.