I feel like, for many families, a dinner table is where we naturally gather. When there are special occasions, there’s usually food involved and holiday menus are discussed for weeks in advance.
When you’re blending families, though, there’s always the potential for an impasse when it comes to the foods you do – or don’t – want to see on the table.
For this OP (original poster), her in-laws unhealthy eating habits have finally gotten to her, leading to a standoff between families when it comes to menus (or whether to eat together at all).
Her husband’s family choose to eat foods that upset OP and her family’s stomach after a visit – lots of fat, lots of grease, a good amount of salt and sugar – so she decided to try inviting them to her place instead.
But even though she attempted to craft a menu that would cater to everyone’s taste she clearly failed.
My in-laws are so nice, but their taste in food is… gross. I’m talking inches of mayo on simple sandwiches, ranch dressing poured all over everything, food covered in cheese, deep fried this and that, and for a vegetable… corn slathered in butter. It’s all beige and tasteless because they don’t season food unless it comes in seasoning packets, and they salt everything within an inch of its life. Almost every time I eat there I have the worst stomach ache.
We got tired of having to choke down my MIL’s cooking and whenever we’d have them over there would be nonstop complaining because even though I would make stuff I thought they’d like (heavy on the meat and potato, lots of cheese available) there would be big enough portions, there was “too much green stuff” etc etc. So it’s mutual. They think what we eat is disgusting and I think what they eat is disgusting.
She then suggested they try outings that didn’t revolve around – or even include – food, but that didn’t really work either.
Not only that, but when OP tried to make the choices she wanted even with the foods they were offering, they made comments about her thinking she was better than them.
So the solution is to obviously hang out without food, right? I started suggesting we go to the park, the Zoo, on nice hikes, etc. But then eventually someone would say “Sure, but then let’s meet back here for a nice lunch!” and I’m back to choking down mayo sandwiches. If we tried to skip it they’d get mad for cutting the visit short. I would recommend ordering pizza and then get myself a nice healthy salad, they’d complain about how I’m no fun and think I’m better than them.
They repeated the insult (?) after her husband stepped in and said no more eating together, even though OP claims they have never once shamed his family about their choices or even refused to eat what they’ve served.
My husband finally put his foot down and said that we won’t be meeting up to do food anymore and MIL made a huge stinky fit about it, saying that we were ruining everything and being too picky and we thought we were better than they are.
Mind you that we’ve never made faces about the food, we’ve never once complained about it, and I always offer to help come up with a menu or bring something and I’m shot down. They however always make faces because “Ew what’s quinoa salad” and “Ew what is this green stuff” and can’t deal with one meal that isn’t 1500 calories in one go.
Are we completely off base here?
She wants to know if they are off-base, and as with all food and diet related posts, Reddit has some thoughts.
Largely about salad.
More than a few folks believe that they’re behaving this way because they feel defensive about their food choices, even if OP has never done anything to explicitly make them feel that way.
This person suggested that perhaps eating out, at a place that offers all options, could be a good compromise.
Some wonder whether or not OP is actually as innocent as she seems in all of this…
It’s hard when their business is sort of your business, at least on occasion.
Or perhaps OP needs to be more blunt?
I’m not sure what the answer is here, but everyone clearly needs to mind their own business.
What would you suggest? Tell us in the comments!