It’s called the Law of Mirroring (or Law of Reflection), and it’s one of the 12 universal laws that attempt to explain the way humanity interacts with the world.
The Law of Mirroring explains that if we are attracting certain circumstances into our lives, it’s only a reflection of how we perceive others.
Ie: Life is not happening to you, it is a reflection of you. Like a mirror.
The concept rests on the idea that everything is feedback. Everything you put out into the world comes back to you in similar or identical ways, so if you have a pattern of failed relationships, underperforming in jobs or the like, you’re responsible for the way people are responding to you.
Extensive research exists to back up these principles, as well, like studies that show that people aren’t easily capable of expressing empathy until they realize they share something in common with a stranger.
This is likely the reason men often reference their mother, daughter, sister, etc. when attempting to identify with a victim of rape or sexual violence.
Which is all to say, if you want to know how well you are doing in life, just look around at the people and choices you’ve let inside your circle. Patterns and relationships aren’t random, so if you’re finding your life full of stress and pain, there’s likely something similar inside you that needs to be addressed.
(Therapy is a great tool, and everyone should consider it!)
This is a hard fact for many to swallow because it’s easier to believe the unfairness of the world is random, that it’s nothing to do with us getting what we give (and vice versa).
Many believe that consciously examining your own experiences is one of the best ways to experience yourself and promote intentional growth – a process that is not simple or without pain, but that is worth it, in the end.
After all, if we never become aware that we are harboring and sustaining certain ways of being, there’s no way to shift our experiences toward something more peaceful and exciting.
Once you understand that you’re experiencing the things you’ve chosen to let into your life – consciously or subconsciously – then you’re free to figure out why and then to choose again.
90% of life is, after all, how you respond to 10% of what happens to you. The quality of that life is up to you – just choose your path and then use your determination to stay on it.
That belief in an ability to choose comes down to control (or at least, the illusion of control) over your future. Studies have found that people who are self-empowered and take responsibility for their lives almost always comes down to an ability to break down goals into manageable chunks that give you some semblance of control in making them happen.
People who struggle to believe that they have control over how their lives will look in two, five, or ten years are more anxious and feel less happy with their lives over all – if they have no control, why try?
The bottom line, and the takeaway, is that nothing – no interaction, no promotion, no health issue, no financial problems, etc. – is random. Everything in your life is influenced by you, so if you’re willing to put in the work, you will reap the rewards.
Although grasping this idea can be a bit daunting at first, it should, in the end, relieve you to know that you can guide your life down the paths you choose. Framed this way, even stumbling blocks become nothing but opportunities to grow, reassess, and change, still not blocking you from living the life you want.
I kind of feel like a weight is lifting off my shoulders!
Look in the mirror, people, and be honest about what you see. It’s the first step!