I like to think I have “the gift of gab” at least a little bit, but I can see how it’s tough for some people to carry on conversations…even short ones.
But it gets even more complicated for some folks when they have to get into the weeds during conversations, so to speak.
How do you carry on long conversations?
AskReddit users talked about how they get it done.
1. Let it flow.
“With the right person, when you have a connection, sometimes conversation is practically effortless. There is a natural flow to conversation. Especially after you’ve known the person a while.
I am an introvert, so it does usually make me tired to talk for a long time, yes. But there are a few people who have somehow managed to get into my inner introvert circle, and talking to them doesn’t tire me.”
“Well, it depends on the other person. If they give you really short answers and don’t engage much, I run out of things to talk about really fast.
But if the other person continues the conversation, before we know it, a few hours have passed.
It’s invigorating (If not dehydrating) to vibe with someone and swap stories and experiences with them for hours on end.”
3. The right people.
“I’m generally introverted, but if you get me with the right people, I can easily talk for hours.
I’ll share a story of the best Valentine’s Day I ever had. My plans kinda fell through, and my roommates who were and still are together, didn’t have anything planned for valentine’s day, they have their own thing. So we all ended a up getting dr**k together.
Well my homie started going on about Warhammer 40k which I had only a vague knowledge of at the time. He preceded to spend 3 hours explaining various things to me and looking up stuff.
I couldn’t help but admire his passion and I got into the lore myself. But we spent the entire night jumping from conversation to conversation about various genres, until we both passed out on the couch. That was some fun times.”
“I like long conversations because there is so much to talk about in this world. Talk about what you like, dislike, what you’re for and what you’re against, what you find bland, and what you’re passionate about.
Talk about how something made you feel, versus something that you learned through adversity, or a failure you made that has given you perspective.
It’s hard to have long conversations with people who give one word responses.”
5. Find a bestie.
“My bestie, who I sadly don’t see too often anymore, we’d literally lay on the couch and living room floor for hours, just chatting.
We’d normally start by catching up on life things, and then we’d discuss whatever’s on our minds that might be controversial to others. She’s one of maybe 3 people I can literally say anything and get no judgment.
Sometimes, random thoughts that pop into my head, that may not be appropriate in other settings, I’ll blurt it out and she’d just go with the flow. Our chats normally go for hours.”
6. Sometimes it clicks.
“Me and my ex, we just clicked.
We used to have 8+ hour video calls daily just constantly talking. It was honestly amazing.
I haven’t met anyone like her since. Feels bad.”
7. Be a good listener.
“Listen to listen, not to wait for your turn to speak. Once you forfeit the urge to say something, you begin to truly understand the other person.
Soon enough, when it is your turn to speak you will have caught on to many more details that you would have if you just focus on saying your one thing.
If the other person is the same, the conversation isn’t only natural and pleasant, it can go on for hours.”
8. A different ballgame.
“Long conversations don’t work like small talk, where you pick a sort of general, safe topic, and both people take short turns swapping personal information and generalities.
Long conversations work more like a discussion-based college class. You spend less time talking about yourself and more time talking about like, how one cartoonist compares to a different cartoonist, or how different fiber arts work, or social norms in Renaissance Venice. Basically, it’s more analytical and you’re usually learning something.
Also, don’t just sit still. Go for a walk with the person. Or if you’re talking on the phone, do chores while you talk. It helps keep you engaged and alert.”
9. Similar interests.
“I’m a chatterbox, and I know a little bit about a lot of things, so I can always carry a conversation in some topic. It’s also a form of socialization.
I grew up in a society where talking was the heart of the evening. You don’t go to dinner with your friends to have dinner. You go to talk, and the food is there to give you something to do while you converse.
It’s also quite stimulating and invigorating when you run into someone else who shares similar interests. One of my best friends would spend literally hours (I’m talking 3+) with me, jutlst talking about different movies, scenes we enjoyed, shows, stories etc.
For the record, 80% of the time we’re literally talking about things we’ve both seen/read. Yet we can still k**l that many hours together talking about them.
It reinforces and forges bonds between people”
“I go off on tangents all over the place, and so do the people I’m talking to.
A lot of times it’s like “What was I talking about? How did I get on the subject of my mom’s car being in the shop?””
11. Hours on end.
“Me and my best mate can talk for hours on end, each conversation leads into the next.
Lots of branching topics which all link together. Conversation might’ve started off with “what games have you been playing lately?”
And an our or 2 down the line we’ve ended up at “why time travel in a film/show is ultimately the worst idea”.”
12. Go with the flow.
“Just go with the flow!
It helps if the other person does the same of course. Actively listen and respond to what the person is saying.
Don’t save up things to say and say them when the other person is done talking. This is key.”
Do you have any advice in this department?
If so, please share it with us in the comments.
Please and thank you!