We live in a day and age where kids are expected to invite everyone in their class to a party – exclusions are unacceptable in almost all cases.
This mom wants to know if that’s true in every case, though, as her 7yo did not want to invite a girl who has been cruel to her in the past.
My (28 female) and husband (29 male) have a daughter Payton (7 female).
Payton goes to a small school with 20 kids in her grade. Her birthday party is next month and we sent out invitations to her friends at school. We invited the whole class except one student.
The student we did not invite has bullied Payton several times (we’ve had meetings with the school and parents). Obviously Payton doesn’t want this kid at her party.
Their family does birthdays up big, and so the excluded girl was feeling left out and upset after not being invited. Her mother called OP and asked why she wasn’t invited.
The other girls mother called me to talk about it saying how now her daughter is crying she was the only kid not invited and everyone at school is talking about the party. (Payton’s parties are known by her classmates to be very over the top).
I explained her daughter isn’t nice to my daughter and that’s the reason she wasn’t invited (the mother knows this).
The mother said I’m teaching my child to be a “bully” and use her wealth to make friends. I disagreed.
After receiving an explanation, she asked whether an apology would mean an invitation but OP said no.
The mother then asked if she had her daughter apology and write Payton a letter we could reconsider. I told her we would not and it has become a big deal every time I see the mom.
The girl tried crashing the party but failed, and some people think OP should have relented.
Payton’s party was today. She had so much fun. The student that was not invited did show up but did not make it past the community gate.
In our neighborhood you have to have someone at the gate in order for people to enter.
Which side is Reddit on here? I bet there are some split opinions!
The top comment says that if there’s one place someone deserves to feel safe, it’s at their own birthday party.
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And teaching kids to enforce their boundaries is healthy.
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People are hopeful the other kid’s mother will use this as a learning experience.
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Because even 7yos can realize there are consequences.
Image Credit: Reddit
Several people pointed out that things might have been different if the apology had come unattached to the birthday situation.
Image Credit: Reddit
This is crappy all the way around and only the kids are losing.
How would you have handled this? Tell us in the comments!
