Family relationships should be the most secure and loving ones afforded to us in this life, but the truth is, they’re often as complicated as any other – more so, given the ties that bind and all of that.
When this girl was 13, her mother left her abusive father and they went to stay with her aunt. They had very little and nowhere else to go.
So when I was 13, my mom and I had to leave our house for safety. We went to stay with my aunt, who at the time, was the only family member who lived in the same country as us.
Aunt agreed to take us in and said we could stay as long as we wanted until we found a new place.
Three weeks in, the aunt kicked them out with no explanation. Their bags were packed by the door and they had to go.
Things went from bad to worse, and didn’t improve. They were homeless, OP struggled in school and nearly ended up in foster care.
Well, 3 weeks in she kicks us out without warning and mom and I are back on the road. It was awful. It took a huge toll and on both our mental and physical health. My grades dropped, I became anti-social and a ‘problem child’ in school. We would couch surf and go from hotel to hotel.
Because he had complete control over my mom’s money when they were together, my mom had less than £100 in the bank and would scramble to get money. She worked 3 jobs and I worked 1.
We spent time in homeless shelters and there was a point in time where my mom was seriously thinking that foster care would be best for me.
Her mom, who sounds like a heck of a trooper, finally pulled herself out of dire straights for long enough to secure a one-room apartment, where they still live together five years later.
Now, the aunt wants to see OP again.
When I was 16 we managed to secure a tiny 1 room apartment and we’ve been living there ever since. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and my aunt got in contact out of the blue.
She said some bs about how my mom refused to keep in contact with her (we couldn’t really afford to maintain the cost of phones) and how she’d like to see me again.
The meeting didn’t go well, because the aunt somehow assumed all had been well after she’d kicked them out and OP let her have all of the gory details.
I agreed, but the meeting quickly turned sour. I don’t know why, but she assumes that after she kicked us out, we were living our best lives. I snapped and told her much that once decision fucked our lives up and I will never forgive her.
I was pretty harsh in my words, but I couldn’t believe she seriously thought kicking out a mentally, physically and financially broken mother and her child would end well.
She also found out that the reason the aunt had kicked her mother out was that she’d found pregnancy tests in the trash, and assumed she was still sleeping with her ex.
Mom was never pregnant that Op knows of.
Turns out, mom had a pregnancy scare (with my dad, not some weird made up rich boyfriend of my aunt’s but ugh let me live in my misogynistic fantasies!!1!!) and aunt found the tests in the bathroom bin and kicked mom and I out before it could be resolved. She told my mom to never come to her for anything again.
She started crying and said she was ‘angry’ with my mom for ‘trying’ to have another baby with my dad knowing how he is. She said it was ‘tough love’. The worst thing was she tried to frame it as how much it (the pregnancy) hurt HER.
When I told aunt mom never had a baby, she just started bawling and apologising but after hearing this, I’ve decided to completely cut aunt off.
The aunt was upset at hearing the truth, perhaps just out of guilt.
I stormed out (she started crying when I explained the above). Last night I got a message from her essentially begging for my forgiveness because she can’t sleep and she feels so awful.
I was sort of on the fence, depending on why she kicked us out but the reason is so damn egregious that I truly can never forgive her. I couldn’t get a word in afterwards, so I wasn’t able to ask her about why she thought our lives were so great, but I’m guessing it was wishful thinking to get rid of the guilt.
OP is wondering if she was a little too honest with her aunt, making her feel badly for things that were said and done and in the past, but she’s also not sorry she’s decided to cut her aunt out of her life.
Does Reddit think she went too far? Let’s hear what they had to say!
The top comment says, in no uncertain terms, that the aunt SHOULD feel guilty.
There is an a$$hole here, but it’s not OP or her mom.
If she really cared, she would have at least let her niece stay?
There really are no excuses that sit right.
I feel so sorry for everything this girl has been through and so proud of how far she and her mother have come.
This aunt is just wrong, right? If you disagree, I’d love to hear why in the comments!