Is It Wrong To Go To The Other Parent When One Won’t Do The Right Thing?

Relationships are tricky, and when one or both parties has children, the stakes – and the disagreements – get higher and more frequent. Even when people grew up in the same family with the same parents they may choose to raise their kids in completely different ways, which can cause additional friction.

These two sisters seem to be struggling with exactly that, as they learned the hard way after a disagreement between two of their children.

OP’s son has decided that he has an affinity for flowers and has begun collecting fake ones in recent weeks. His siblings share their flowers with him and everyone is happy.

Then, OP’s sister, brother-in-law, and their kids came for a visit and it was brought to OP’s attention that her niece had taken her son’s flowers without permission.

Some time ago my middle son (6) told me that he really likes flowers. He then asked me to buy him some. I told my husband and now my son has a small collection. He treasures it a lot. We gave my other two kids flowers the first time as well but they threw them away immediately or gave them to their brother.

Anyways my sister and her family were over for dinner and her kids and mine ran off to play. Some time later my eldest comes to me saying that my middle son is sad.

He was. He wasn’t crying yet but he was holding back tears. I asked him what happened and he told me that his cousin went to his room and took his flowers. When I asked him why his cousin would do that he told me that she just thought they were pretty and wanted them so she took them.

When she found her niece with her sister and ask that she return the flowers and ask that her son share instead, her sister brushed off the request.

I went to find her so I could get the flowers back and found her with her mom with the flowers around her. I explained to her what happened and my sister just stared at me in disbelief. “They’re just flowers.” Is what she said. I told her that yeah they are but they belong to my son and he wants them back. I told her that my son would definitely share if she just asked politely.

She rolled her eyes and said “but they’re literally just flowers, what’s a little boy doing with them anyway?” I told her that her saying that was a whole other issue but I just want the flowers back without causing a scene.

She told me that she’ll give them back after her daughter is done playing with them.

When her niece began to damage the flowers and her sister still didn’t want to do anything, OP went to her brother-in-law and explained the situation.

He rectified it immediately, using it as a teaching moment and setting things right, but her sister was angry, stating that OP had just given them another reason to argue.

So I went to her husband and told him what happened after my niece began bending the stems and he looked really embarrassed and immediately told me he was sorry. He went to his daughter and got the flowers and gave them back to my son himself. He then talked to his daughter who also apologized. I thought that was it but my sister was fuming the whole time.

Before leaving she began whisper arguing with me calling me “real mature” for apparently snitching to her husband. She said that I’ve given them another reason to fight now and that she hopes I’m happy with my stupid flowers. AITA?

The flowers are fake by the way.

OP is wondering whether or not she overstepped, “tattling” on her sister like that, but still feels relieved that the situation was handled appropriately but someone.

Does Reddit think she should have continued to push her sister for a response? Or is going to the other parent appropriate in this situation?

Let’s find out in the comments!

The top comment is short and not-so-sweet.

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It seems like there might be quite a lot going on in OP’s sister’s life.

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It’s too bad the husband is already taken, right?

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Let’s normalize this, please.

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This is how bullies are made, yeah?

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I can’t believe the sister was so dismissive. As the mother of a sensitive little boy, it boils my blood.

Would you have been as calm as OP in this situation? Tell me how you would manage it in the comments!