Is It Wrong To Refuse To Let Your Child Skip A Grade?

Parenting is a rough gig, y’all, there’s no doubt about it. Some days it feels as if there’s no way to win, even though most of us are always trying to do the best by our kids.

This woman had no ill intentions when trying to decide whether or not to let her younger child skip a grade but, well…she might be regretting that now.

Her son is two years older than her daughter, but the daughter excels in school and from her descriptions, seems to be headed places.

My kids are Jonah (14M) and Emma (12F) and my husband is Johnny (40M), for clarity.

Emma has always been brighter than is typical for her age, she was reading at 4 and she’s even gone to national competitions. We’re really proud of her and all she’s accomplishing. She’s been in the gifted/talented program for a few years now, but now her school wants to take it further. They want her to go to eighth grade this year instead of seventh.

The son is the opposite, struggling and having already been held back a grade once because of underachieving.

The mom, thinking about her son’s embarrassment, decides to deny the school’s request to move her daughter up a grade, even though she clearly needs to be challenged more at school.

The thing is though, Jonah repeated a year (sixth) so he actually is in eighth grade. It was a hard year for him overall. He’s a bit ashamed of that year and it really bothers him that he didn’t put in more effort. I don’t think it would be good for him if he and Emma share classes, which is very likely because it’s a small school.

So I declined the skipping grades arrangement and asked if we can just give Emma further enrichment like we’ve been doing, because she can definitely do eighth-grade work. I thought that would be best for both kids.

Her daughter was extremely upset with the decision, and with the fact that it was made without consulting her.

The trouble is that when I told Emma what we decided for her, she didn’t take it well. She soon grew testy, saying Jonah’s school placement “has nothing to do with her”. I told her that I was thinking of both of them when I made that decision. Emma later went to her room in tears, but she wouldn’t let me check on her all evening.

Johnny sided with me, saying it’s right that I took both kids into account, but Emma is clearly still bothered and I really didn’t want to upset her. I just wanted to be fair to everyone. AITA?

Her husband thinks taking both kids into consideration was fine, but what does Reddit say?

Let’s find out!

The top comment basically sums it all up, right?

Image Credit: Reddit

This person has some personal experience, and reports that both kids would likely have turned out fine if the parents supported them both fairly.

Image Credit: Reddit

If the school is suggesting it, there’s probably a reason.

Image Credit: Reddit

There were some other fairly simple options.

Image Credit: Reddit

It’s pretty cringe when you put it that way.

Image Credit: Reddit

Y’all, I cannot with how obviously this woman has a favorite chid, and also, we could use this one post to write a dissertation on the patriarchy.


I hate it.