As someone who is obsessed with true crime, I can attest to the fact that there are far more people in this world acting creepy than people who are actually going to ever do something illegal.
You can be totally creepy, it turns out, and not break one single law – like these 14 acts, which aren’t illegal at all (but might still earn you a visit from the cops all the same).
14. Why would anyone think this is ok?
Media outlets (typically disquising it with “comedy”) putting up “______ turns 18 on ____” countdowns for child actresses. Natalie Portman was 13 when she got a countdown on her local radio station.
F**ks sake marry kate and Ashley were like 4 on full house when they got their countdown.
13. No one is going to be happy.
Parking across the street from an elementary school with binoculars
Technically not illegal, but you’d definitely get the cops called on you and make the news.
12. Don’t even get me started.
According to the FBI, performing vaginal examinations on six year olds during gymnastics training… at least for a while.
11. No matter how many times it happens.
Dating a girl you adopted once she turns legal age and not in your care.
In 1975, Tyler obtained guardianship of 16-year-old Julia Holcomb, so that she could live with him in Boston. They dated and took drugs together for three years.
He also got her pregnant later, yikes
10. Light them all on fire.
Those weird kid clothes that are like “I suck moms boob” or something.
I found shit like that at Spencer’s and thought it was fucking gross
9. That might violate your HOA.
Hanging your doll collection from the trees in your yard using string made from human hair.
September-October: Halloween got you cover.
November-December: Add Santa hats to them.
January-February: Make them “cupids” with wings and bows.
March-april: easterize them with flower crowns.
May: Mothers day, hang them in pairs, big doll with small doll.
June-july: give them american flags.
August: Ignore the HOA letter.
8. Come to the light.
Sitting on a lakebed at night with a rebreather and no flashlight.
I literally shuddered at the idea. Light is good. Light is lovely. Light is what stops the idiot fish from running into you because apparently some of them just bonk around at night/in the dark and cause your soul to leave its earthly vessel in terror.
7. It’s definitely a weird vibe.
Sitting next to someone at a public transport even when there are other seats available.
Or even better, as someone gets onto public transport you can move over and pat the seat next to you, inviting them to sit.
6. It will definitely freak a homeowner out.
It’s technically legal to check if a door is locked, as long as you don’t enter without permission.
Edit: depending on where you live this could apply to both houses and cars
5. They have no shame.
There’s a heartbreaking video of Paris Jackson trying to run from paps asking invasive questions about her dad who’d passed away.
The way she just cries out “please leave me alone” as they stick cameras in her face. Terrible.
4. Way to go, France.
Child Beauty pageants.
They’re actually illegal in France since 2013 for age groups under 13 and 13-15 year old pageant groups are regulated.
3. Let them be kids.
Trying to make your kids social media famous.
Before social media it was the pageant doll thing in the 80’s – creepy as hell.
2. I hate this story.
This one hits close to home. A good friend of mine lives in a major east coast city, as a single woman she is extra cautious. She was the victim of a known local “Instagram celebrity” this weekend.
Basically this guy follows people (guys and girls) around and records them. When they get annoyed and tell him to stop he gets more and more obnoxious, trying to get a reaction. He is careful not to cross the legal line for stalking etc. and does it in public, so be “expectation of privacy”.
He then posts the inevitable freak out online. I’m not going to share the page (my friend made the cut) because I don’t want to grace this troll with the page views.
1. Why is that?
Facing the wrong way in an elevator.
There’s no wasted motion doing this either. You just elect to turn around after you get to your floor and exit rather than when you enter.
Don’t be creepy, y’all. Nobody likes that.
If you can think of some other legal creepiness that’s not on this list, leave it in our comments!