Honesty is always the best policy, right?
Well, I guess that’s open to interpretation!
Take a look at what this woman had to say and let us know if you think she acted like an a**hole!
AITA for being honest about why I’m losing weight?
“I (20F) have always had issues with my family, particularly my three sisters, making comments about my body, partially because I’m going into a “looks-based” field, acting, even though I’m probably not what would be considered conventionally attractive.
Ever since I started professional theater training two years ago, the comments have really ramped up. They usually have three things they comment on- my hair, my skin, and my weight. They know I’m very proud of having very thick, black curly hair, so they often make comments about it being “not really black,” and compare it unfavorably to my little sister’s by saying hers is darker and “less bushy.”
I also have a condition that makes my circulation very poor, so I’m very pale, don’t tan well, and have a lot of red in my skin tone, particularly my face, so it’s a running “joke” that I look like a vampire. The last one, and the one that does the most damage, is the comments on my weight.
At my heaviest a year ago, I weighed around 133, but I’m only 5’3”, so it looked like more weight than it was. My older sister, who’s very small and petite, describes me as “heavy,” and talks about how she wishes I could “share a few of my pounds” with her.
I decided earlier this year that I couldn’t take it anymore, and after I got accepted to drama school, I committed to fixing the things I don’t like about myself. I’ve started taking care of my hair and learning how to use makeup to work with the red in my skin instead of against it. They didn’t notice these changes, but they did notice when I started losing weight. I’ve been calorie counting, and I’ve lost six or seven pounds since the start of the year.
Last night, after I refused a second bowl of pasta at a family dinner because I didn’t have the calories for it, my mom commented on the fact that I’d been losing weight, and asked why I felt like I needed to because I don’t look bad the way I am. I was honest, and briefly described the last time I got called “heavy” by my sisters.
I said that it really got to me and I wanted to make sure I really liked myself before I get to drama school, so that I’m not battling as much insecurity while I’m there. Everyone was kind of quiet afterwards, and my older sister left the table not long after and wouldn’t talk to me. Later that night my mom pulled me aside and said that I could do what I wanted with my body, but I shouldn’t blame my sisters for the way I felt about myself.
She said it had really hurt my sisters, particularly my older sister, that I had made them feel “guilty” about my choice to lose weight, and even if I’m losing weight because of their comments, I should keep that to myself.
My other two sisters have since told me that making my weight loss about them was inappropriate and asked me to apologize for “putting that on them,” because even if they did comment on my weight, they’ve never told me I should lose any, so I have no right to try and make it their responsibility.
And here’s how Reddit users reacted.
This person said she’s NTA and this problem isn’t hers.
Another individual said she’s NTA and offered up some dieting advice.
And this Reddit user said she’s NTA and that her whole family is toxic.
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!