Is She Wrong for Not Wanting Her Stepmom to Be the Mother of the Bride at Her Wedding? People Responded.

Oh, boy, here we go again

It’s yet another story from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page that involves drama surrounding an upcoming wedding and a stepmom who desperately wants to be part of the ceremony.

But this woman ain’t having it!

So, is she an a**hole?

Check out her story and see what you think.

AITA for telling my stepmom I don’t want to include her as mom of the bride and telling my dad that it’s unfair to expect my mom to be perfect?

“My parents divorced when I was 5. I don’t actually remember them together. My dad met my stepmom when I was 6. My stepmom tried to fill a second mom role and my dad tried to facilitate that.

At times it meant them asking my mom to let me go someplace with them on her time or trying to get a Mother’s Day celebration in. I know it hurt my mom, the thought of sharing the role as my mom. She never said anything. She never discouraged me at all.

But there are always ways to tell if you know someone well enough and pay enough attention. I want to reiterate, my mom NEVER interfered or said anything against my stepmom or dad. My noticing could be the reason I’m not closer to my stepmom. Though I definitely don’t despise her or see her as nothing. But a second mom is not something I ever considered her as. I do like her though.

For my wedding planning and dress appointments, etc. I wanted to make it small and something for just me and my mom. I wanted the experience with her anyway but I also wanted to give her something she doesn’t have to share with my stepmom.

This became more of a thing when my grandma and great aunt, on my dad’s side, called my stepmom mother of the bride on FB and the three commented that it would be a great experience for her to see me pick a dress and stuff.

After seeing that I went to my stepmom (and dad technically) and told her I didn’t want to give her a role as mom of the bride and she wouldn’t be doing the traditional mom of the bride stuff with me (dress shopping and fittings).

I told her we could figure something else out. Asked was there anything else she’d want to tag along for. Like looking at flowers. She was sad and asked me why I didn’t want her as the second mom of the bride. I told her I wanted that for just my mom. Dad then brings up that my mom won’t mind and she’d want me to have both my mom’s there. I told him he was wrong. That she only ever agreed to share it because she felt it was the right thing to do but it hurt her.

He looked stunned and asked how I knew. I told him those close to her always knew. He then said he never would have expected that from her because she was always the perfect parent and person and that was why they ended up divorcing, because he couldn’t handle it and was envious of her.

I told him nobody is perfect and it’s unfair for him to expect my mom to be. I asked him if he’d be happy to be one of my dad’s. He said of course not but he always thought mom would be better than him.

The whole conversation left my dad and stepmom with rough feelings and she made it clear she was upset that after all these years I wouldn’t give her the love and respect to be included as a mom of the bride.

Also, I have spoken to my mom about the overall topic before. She has never admitted it but always said she wanted the best for me and for me to be happy. Her best friend confirmed it for me though.


Here’s what Reddit users said about this.

This reader said she’s NTA…AT ALL!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user said she’s NTA and the stepmom is lucky to even be invited.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this Reddit user said it sounds like the stepmom is competing here and trying to muscle in.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Let us know in the comments.

Thanks a lot!